


Moving Forward

by laniew1



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2020-02-26 14:46:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 29
Words: 78,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18719203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laniew1/pseuds/laniew1
Summary: Alex gets to work on dismantling his father’s legacy. He has help because Caulfield was only the beginning.





	1. Chapter 1

 

**Moving Forward 1/?**

 

When day turns to dusk turns to night he realizes that Michael is not coming.

He feels like he's hundred years old as he gets in the car, drives to the cabin. He has to keep telling himself what to do.

Key in the ignition, car in drive, press the gas pedal, obey the speed limits and signs.

He had thought...

When he gets to the cabin he locks the door and he calls his therapist. She keeps telling him to breathe, just focus on his breathing and it seems really important to her that he keep doing that so he does.

He keeps breathing. And when it doesn't hitch in his chest and he doesn't feel like wailing in agony anymore he apologizes.

"Why are you apologizing to me, that's what I'm here for," she says and it's almost midnight, she's off the clock and should be home but instead she's on the phone with him reminding him to breathe.

She already knows about Michael, "I tried," he says, he chokes on the words, on the scream. "I told him the truth and he told me to come back and I did and he..."

"He didn't come," she says.

"I'm not worth it," he tells her. "It's... I'm not even a real person anymore," his voice breaks but he keeps breathing.

"You are," she says, her voice is calm and soothing and it reminds him of his mom.

He wishes he were five and could curl up in his moms’ lap and not think about noticing boys over girls and not _care_ that Michael has apparently chosen Maria over him.

Because that's what this is.

Michael making a choice and that choice not being him.

"It's okay to be angry," she says and he laughs wetly.

"I'm not angry," he says, "I'm just... I'm sad."

 

********************************

 

He turns off his phone, not that anyone has called.

He turns off his phone and he goes to his dads’ bunker. He saves everything electronic to a hard drive, packs the most damaging physical material in a box, puts it all in the passenger seat and leaves.

Its hours on the road, he listens to music and doesn't think.

His phone is still turned off.

 

********************************

 

He has a spare uniform in a garment bag in the back of his car, he never thought he'd be climbing back into it, but he does. He puts it on and tries not to look at his reflection in the gas station window. He looks tired and pale even to his own eyes.

Major John Windsor had been his most recent commanding officer, Alex doesn't think he seems surprised to see him sitting outside his office at 0500.

Just like Alex isn’t surprised that the Major is at his office at 0500.

"Captain," he says and he holds the door open for Alex to walk into his office, he doesn't acknowledge right away the box that Alex picks up to carry in with him.

"What can I do for you?" he asks once he settles behind his desk, the last time Alex was here they'd been talking about Alex retiring and his mental state. Now Alex takes a deep breath and takes the hard drive out of the box and hands it across the desk.

 

********************************

 

The Major doesn't have him committed, just goes through the hard drive and the box that Alex brought and gets paler as the evidence of what Alex has found comes into focus.

"There's more facilities then just the Caulfield one," Alex says. It’s a truth that he didn’t share with Michael or Kyle.

The Major makes some phone calls and Alex gets to make a choice: if he wants to be involved, if he wants to directly or even indirectly be the one to destroy this horrible legacy...

Alex signs the papers.

And just like that he’s no longer waiting for the clock to run out on his enlistment period, he’s active duty and trying to figure out his living situation in the midst of everything else.

 

********************************

 

He has therapy every other day, he thinks the Major can tell that he's teetering on a very thin rope above a river of angry alligators and the Major wants him safely on the other side because he's of no use to him if he falls in and is consumed by the angry alligators.

He keeps a journal and talks about his feelings. It turns out his feelings are more than just Michael and Maria; there’s Kyle and Jenna and Liz and Max and how he feels like he's failed every single one of them by not being the person they expected.

"And who do you think they expected?" she asks him and Alex sighs.

"Someone stronger."

"You are strong," she says and Alex laughs wetly because she can say it over and over at every session; but he certainly doesn't feel it. "You are, you came here, you're getting help, you're helping others by being here."

He still hasn't turned his phone on, he thinks if he were as strong as she says he is that he’d be able to.

Instead he’s contemplating just getting a new one and wiping the slate clean.

 

********************************

 

He gets a new phone, it’s a fancy military phone that the Major hands over without saying a word though the expression in his eyes pretty much says it all.

He looks at it and there’s just an immense sense of relief; no one knows this number, he doesn't have to talk to anyone he doesn't want to.

 

********************************

 

He calls Jenna.

"I have a job for you if you're interested?" he asks. She might not be, it's been six months since he left Roswell.

"Jesus Christ, they all think you're dead," she says and he laughs because he's sure she's exaggerating.

"It's a military contract, if you're interested I'll send someone with papers for you to sign," he presses on and she lets him.

"Okay, I thought you were done though?”

“Yeah, so did I.”

 

********************************

 

Jenna doesn’t talk about Roswell or anyone affiliated with Roswell with the exception of Kyle because she learned early on that he would actually just hang up on her rather than hear how Michael is living with Maria.

“He’s really worried about you,” she says conversationally after she’s eliminated a site for him and they’re talking through options for the next place for her to go. There’s a list of names that Jim Valenti had and Caulfield is gone, Haverman was empty.

They managed to rescue 17 aliens from a small facility in Genoa, 2 had died on the way to the medical facility that has been put aside to treat them.

The remaining fifteen are mostly stable, Alex only remembers the 2 they lost because he hadn’t got her or the team working with her there fast enough.

“I was thinking Aberline might be the next place to check,” he says.

“It’s just Kyle,” she says and when Alex doesn’t respond she sighs loudly over the phone at him, “But yeah we can look at Aberline next.”

 

********************************

 

He hears through the grapevine that the ranch in Roswell is going to be turned into housing for those that they’ve rescued once they’re deemed fit enough to leave medical care.

Then he hears it again from Jenna.

“It’s all the talk right now,” she says, her voice is bright and cheerful and wherever she is at the moment is noisy with music and talking. He makes a noncommittal noise as he stares into his freezer and tries to decide on a frozen meal to heat up.

None of them look appetizing but the doctors are trying him on medications for his newly diagnosed depression, he’s pretty sure the lack of appetite was one of the side effects he remembers reading about.

 _”What can I get you?”_ he hears and its Maria’s voice, Jenna is in Roswell and his heart stops, cracks.

“Don’t you dare hang up on me,” Jenna says, she’s moving because he can hear the sound of the Wild Pony becoming faint as she apparently goes outside.

“Jenna I need to…”

“You need to wait, Jesus,” she mutters and Alex breathes. In and out, even breaths.

“Alex?” Kyle’s voice is soft and querying and Alex just stands there, freezer still open, staring blankly at all the stuff he doesn’t want to eat but has to because if he loses any more weight his doctors are going to start him on awful shakes and he doesn’t want that.

“Kyle,” he finally says. Nothing else, because what else is there to say.

“So you can talk to Cameron but not me?” Kyle asks, he sounds a little miffed about that which for some reason strikes Alex as absolutely hysterical.

“I had a job for her.”

“And you didn’t have one for me?”

“No,” he says. “Not yet.”

 

********************************


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this went a really weird direction. I'm kind of liking it though?

 

**Moving Forward 2/?**

 

Alex doesn’t give Kyle his number, he could, it’s not a red phone that is restricted to only government business.

But he doesn’t, because this way he can control how often he talks to Kyle. Like Jenna, Kyle learns very quickly that Alex doesn’t want to talk about Roswell or the inhabitants of Roswell.

He still tries to sneak in comments though, so Alex knows that Rosa is alive somehow (what the hell?), that Max was kind of dead for a little while but then apparently got better (no, really, what the hell?) because Isobel, Michael and Max all have more powers then just the ones they knew about.

Also, Liz is living with Max and Michael has moved in with Maria and when the hell are you coming home?

Alex just sighs and hangs up.

He heats up a hot pocket for dinner and drinks a bottle of water, then takes his nightly pills and climbs into bed to stare at the ceiling for six hours and not think about Michael and Maria making a home together.

 

********************************

 

They free 67 aliens from Aberline as well as find a treasure trove of alien technology. The Major has to make some phone calls to get them additional help because there’s no way for them to contain 67 aliens of varying ages with their small group of 25 as well as get the alien tech somewhere the Major deems safe enough.

They also manage to scoop up one of Alex’s brothers on the raid, Hunter, he is told, is livid. Alex doesn’t talk to him, he doesn’t actually know if his brothers are aware of his part in the demolishing of their family legacy, though Flint definitely is and if Flint knows then Hunter and Ryder know as well.

He rechecks all his locks on his apartment and makes sure his gun is in a place where it’s easy enough to get to, but _not_ easy enough to get to.

 

********************************

 

He calls Kyle on a Wednesday, he’s hacked the hospital’s computer to find out his schedule because he’d hate to call him when he’s busy with a patient.

“Have you ever thought about private practice?” Alex asks, he’s laying down on the couch with his leg elevated because it aches in a way that means he’ll be digging the crutch out in the morning. He’s wearing shorts and a t-shirt and feeling cool enough that he wishes he’d thought to get a blanket before settling in.

“Private practice? No? I like what I do,” Kyle says, he sounds weird and Alex strains to see if he can pick up on noises on the other end. He sounds like he’s alone, there’s no voices anyway to confirm he’s not.

“Okay,” Alex lays there for a minute, he doesn’t know how to have conversations with people anymore it seems like. He wishes he could have forced the Major to make this call but once he’d offered up the option the Major had told him it was up to him to follow through and get a yay or nay.

“Why are you asking?” Kyle finally asks when they’ve sat there in silence for about 60 seconds.

“I was going to have a job for you,” Alex says.

“A job, like what you’ve got Cameron doing?”

“No,” Alex shakes his head even though Kyle can’t see him doing it. “No, would have been an off shoot of it, I’ll get the Major to figure something out.”

“I can…” Kyle starts, then stops.

“It’s fine Kyle.”

Kyle sighs heavily, like the weight of the world is resting on his shoulders.

“What are you even working on Alex?”

“I’m dismantling the family business,” Alex says, “piece by piece.”

They sit there in silence Kyle obviously not knowing what to say and Alex not knowing what else they even have to talk about.

He’s not sure they were even friends, he’s not sure if he would even be able to tell if they were. He thinks they were partners maybe, partners that were tied together by a family legacy neither of them wanted that was working toward the genocide of an alien race.

Every time they free a group from one of the facilities he thinks ‘we’re that much closer’ and then he sees the seemingly never-ending list of sites that could possibly be holding more and he thinks he’ll go to his grave and it’ll never be done.

 

********************************

 

“He said no,” Alex tells the Major in the morning and the Major just nods like it was nothing less then what he expected and makes a note.

They’re setting up housing for the aliens, but they also need a doctor that knows their specific circumstances and won’t be writing up all their findings for medical journals.

Kyle saying no actually makes it easier, if they find a suitable one they can just house the doctor with the first group going out and that doctor and his or her staff will be more easily accessible to them then if they needed to go into town.

“There’s a few from the last group that would like to talk to you,” the Major says and Alex shakes his head.

He doesn’t need more aliens looking at him and seeing his father. Michael was bad enough and he knew him.

The last group that was held at Aberline was further away which meant they didn’t get Jesse Manes’ undivided attention like the ones being held at Caulfield and Genoa and likely Haverman were.

“They know that the locations are coming from somewhere, and your brother was very vocal in spitting your name out when they were taking him into custody so…”

“I just don’t think it’s a good idea,” Alex says evenly.

He doesn’t think introducing a Manes into a situation where a Manes has already been the prime abuser is in anyway a good choice and he can’t help but wonder why the Major is even considering it. Especially since he’s been overly keen on making sure Alex is able to maintain a safe distance from their rescues likely for all their benefits.

The Major stares at him for a moment and Alex doesn’t twitch or squirm, just keeps looking directly at him until the man sighs and mutters something Alex can’t hear under his breath.

“Where are you sending Cameron and the boys next?” he finally asks.

“There’s two sites within 20 miles of each other, Tensinridge and Brocklow, I was thinking they could check out both though if they find anything we might need to send another team their way?”

The Major nods his assent and Alex stands, hooking the crutch over his arm as he heads towards the door.

He knew when he woke up that morning that the crutch was back, he’s been pushing too far too fast and now his leg is an aching mass. He’s got a doctor’s appointment in a couple of days and he’s sure to be back on two crutches and no prosthetic until the swelling goes down.

He makes it two steps out of the Majors office before he’s stopped by a body in his path and when he looks up to apologize for a moment he thinks it’s Michael. He’s sure the blood drains from his face leaving him looking pale and spooked by the way the man in front of him backs up a couple steps in alarm.

It’s _not_ Michael, this man is older by maybe ten years, but he has the same bone structure in his face, the same build, the same _fucking_ hair.

“Captain Manes this is General Rath,” the Major says, and Alex can’t say anything, he actually has to think about just continuing to breathe as his vision goes hazy.

This is family to Michael, Alex just knows it. Father, brother, something close if they look _that_ much alike and they’re going to _know_ that Alex couldn’t save his mother, that it was his father and brother that murdered her and Alex wasn’t good enough or fast enough to save her for them.

For Michael.

He’s not sure how he came to be sitting in a chair outside the Major’s office when he stops panicking in his head, but he is.

And General Rath is squatting in front of him, peering up at him through familiar curls and Alex just wants to sob at the concern that he sees on his face because he’s not worth it.

“Captain,” he says and Jesus he even _sounds_ like Michael, though Michael had never said his actual rank just ‘private’ and ‘airman’ and anything he could make to sound like he was belittling something that was now a part of Alex in a way he never thought possible.

“Alex,” he says, he’s proud that his voice only cracks a little bit. “Or Captain, it doesn’t matter.”

The General snorts a laugh and touches his arm, “Alex then, and you will call me Rath.”

Alex swallows over the lump in his throat and lets out a long breath that he hadn’t realized he’d been holding.

“You know me, or someone that looks like me which I’m hoping to mean that you may know of my son,” Rath says as he comes smoothly to his feet and sits in the chair to Alex’s right. The Major has gone somewhere since he doesn’t seem to be present and his admin is gone as well. Alex hopes that means they haven’t given Rath carte blanch to do with him as he sees fit.

“Son? You, uh, don’t look old enough…” he stops, focuses on breathing again because that means the woman in Caulfield was…

“Most of us came here in stasis of some sort,” Rath says, his eyes are focused intently on Alex’s face and it’s a bit off putting.

Alex nods, because of course, alien technology and they had found eight pod like containers in Haverman that had no occupants.

“His name is Michael,” he offers, “he should be easy enough to find when they move you to Roswell. There’s a bar called the Wild Pony, he’s living with the woman that owns it.”

He’s proud of himself that his voice doesn’t break at admitting that Michael is with Maria, that they’re living together. That he chose her over him.

“I thought,” the expression on Rath’s face is confused, Alex would probably question it if he wasn’t trying to piece together the pieces of his heart that he thought for sure couldn’t break any more than it already had.

“He’s,” Alex can’t think of the words, “he’s happy so…” He thinks he’s happy, he’s never let Jenna or Kyle tell him one way or another, he knows that he’s still living with Maria so he assumes that means they’re making something work.

He swallows, lets out a shuddering breath and hopes his lips are forming a smile though the look on Rath’s face probably means that if it they are forming a smile Rath is not buying it.

But Alex doesn’t really need him to, the group from Aberline were relatively healthy mentally and physically, the only reason they’re still there is because the houses aren’t ready for them in Roswell.

When they are Rath will join the rest of his group in moving there.

He just needs to keep his head down until they go.

 

********************************


	3. Chapter 3

**Moving Forward 3/?**

 

Once a month he’s required to meet with his therapist in person. He’d wanted to continue doing all their sessions over the phone like they’d done when he’d been in Roswell, but she’s insistent that now that he’s back on active duty that he needs the face to face time because she’s worried that he’s going to hide with his computers.

So at least one session a month is in her office with her staring at him with assessing eyes.

“I hear you met with one of the survivors,” she says, she has her legs crossed at the ankle and looks calm and relaxed.

“Not willingly,” he says, “the Major sprung him on me.”

“Probably the only way he could get you to talk to one of them since you’ve refused most other requests,” she looks at him, “you are not your father Alex.”

“I’m not my father,” he parrots back dully, he knows the drill, but he’s also so tired that he doesn’t have the energy to put on a front for her. And even if he did she’s known him long enough now that she likely wouldn’t believe it even if he tried.

“Do we need to do another writing exercise?” she asks and he snorts.

“He looks like Michael,” he says finally when they sit there in silence for a few minutes.

“General Rath?”

“Yeah, same hair, similar face, same build; he’s his father,” Alex crosses his arms over his chest, he’s cold suddenly. “I couldn’t tell him that my dad and brother killed his wife, would have killed Michael if given the opportunity.”

“You think he doesn’t know?”

“I think if he did know he wouldn’t have looked at me like he did.”

“You are not your father Alex, you are not your brothers. Just like them you had a choice and your choice was to bring everything your father has done to the Major and then continue working to undo it as much as possible. I think General Rath and the others see that. They don’t see your father or your brothers, they see you trying to fix everything horrific that has been done to them even though you had no hand in it in the first place.”

Alex looks at her, then focuses on the picture hanging over her left shoulder.

He doesn’t think it means anything that people that he’s never met, or only met once don’t see his father when they look at him; because the one that matters, the one that’s known him for years can _only_ see his father.

 _He_ can only see his father.

 

********************************

 

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me,” Alex says the next time he gets Jenna on the phone, she laughs at him.

“Met General Rath have we?” she asks, he doesn’t need to see her face to _hear_ the smirk in her voice. “I didn’t get a chance to actually talk to him; father or brother or some sort of clone?” she pauses for a moment and then sighs, “it’s really sad that we now live in a world where I can ask that question with a completely straight face.”

“He’s his father,” Alex rubs his fingers against his temples. He’s got just the beginning of a headache, he can’t tell if he’s hungry or if he needs to drink more water or if he just needs to sleep for more then three hours a night.

“Huh, didn’t look old enough…” she says.

“Yeah I already said that,” Alex mutters.

“Oh my god you actually _talked_ to him?” Jenna sounds entirely too gleeful about this turn of events and Alex spends a couple blissful seconds contemplating hanging up on her.

He doesn’t, mostly because he hasn’t talked to her about the next two sites, he could just send it in a text, he probably _should_ just shoot her an encrypted e-mail with where he needs her to go and not talk to her at all.

But his therapist always looks pleased when he tells her he talked to Jenna and Kyle, he thinks it’s proof to her that he’s taking baby steps to rejoin the rest of humanity. He thinks it’s telling that it’s been ten months and the only people he’s re-engaged with are Jenna and Kyle, that he can’t bring himself to pick up the phone and dial the numbers for Michael or Maria or even Liz.

He just can’t, not yet.

Maybe not ever.

“Not willingly, he was outside the Major's office.”

Jenna laughs, actually out loud laughs and it’s infectious because Alex’s lips curl into a smile even though he doesn’t really feel like he has anything to smile about.

“He stalked you like wild prey and cornered you when you were in an indefensible position,” she says.

Alex sighs, because he totally did.

 

********************************

 

Rath doesn’t like most things on this world. Everything is… old.

When they were being held he didn’t like the way the humans had looked at them like they were something less than them, when the whole reason they kept them caged like they were was because they were terrified of what they could do.

Of what they _would_ do given the opportunity.

But Rath is not Zan, he’s not Vilandra. He’s not a ruler, he’s a General. Not that they need one since he hasn’t laid eyes on Vilandra since before they fled from Antar, not seen Zan since right before they went into stasis.

Zan should be there, Zan was on the same ship with him but he wasn’t there when Rath was woken. He knows he’s alive because the steady beat in their bond continues thrumming. Just like he knows that his Mara is dead, he felt the exact moment that her life was snuffed out, he hadn’t been expecting the sheer agony from the connection being shattered, they’ve been separated for so long…

He hadn’t gotten anything from the bonds in so long, just the continued assurance that they were still there; neither of them like they were in the beginning when it was emotions shared back and forth in a loop that could go on for days, weeks, years.

It’s how he can tell that his son has bonded with the Captain. Even just their brief glimpse of the Captain shows the marks his son has left all over Alex’s psyche.

It’s a testament to Alex’s mental fortitude that he hasn’t had a complete mental collapse long before now, the marks are all open and fraying, like an open wound festering in his mind.

“I should just take the boy for my own,” he mutters to Tyrel, his lieutenant looks back at him with unimpressed eyes.

“I think when we find Zan he might take exception to you taking someone _else_ to your bed, I don’t think he would tolerate anyone else unless he was the one introducing you again,” Tyrel reminds him.

“Zan adored Mara,” Rath says stubbornly. It would have been easier if he could have loved Vilandra the way that Zan wanted him to, but Vilandra made that near impossible, when they'd been children it had been fine, they'd made plans but when they hit those awful teenage years the sneering and awful words and just being around Vilandra was difficult. He'd only spent any time with her because of Zan. When it had become apparent that something in Vilandra's eyes for him had changed he'd made himself be content with Zan, then with Mara once Zan had brought her to him.

Plus if he had loved Vilandra the way Zan had wanted? Her inevitable betrayal would have stung that much more, he hopes she’s dead because if he were to get his hands on her now…

“If you say so General,” Tyrel says with no small measure of amusement in his voice.

“He’s left the marks just festering,” Rath mutters. “Obviously he doesn’t know how to take care of him.”

“Likely he doesn’t even know he put them there in the first place. You should let him explain himself and then if the answer isn’t satisfactory enough you can continue on in whatever manner you see fit.” The _like you will regardless_ goes unsaid but Rath has known Tyrel for a very long time he can read between the lines.

“I can’t just leave them open like that, it’s a wonder he hasn’t gone insane yet,” Rath says. Though from the panicked thoughts and almost crippling depression he might not be far off. They might not even be able to do anything to reverse the damage done.

“So smudge the marks to relieve the stress,” Tyrel says with a shrug, “It’s what any of our mind healers would have done if a single one of them had managed to survive.”

Smudging, he hadn’t even thought of that. It is a good idea and gives him time to figure out exactly what his sons intentions are towards Alex before he makes his own decisions regarding the Captain.

“I still think just taking the boy myself would be the easier solution,” he says, mostly just to see Tyrel’s eyeroll but also because the boy is smart, strong and would be a formidable ally.

He’s not sure how his son has missed that. But it’s been a lot of years since he’s actually laid eyes on his son, he may have gone blind since then for all Rath knows.

 

 

********************************

 

Things started with Maria on a Tuesday, they end on a Tuesday almost ten months after Alex has seemingly vanished off the face of the earth.

The fact they lasted ten months is a testament to the fact that Michael wasn’t giving up Maria when he’d actually _lost_ Alex over it.

They’d all tried phone calls that went directly to voicemail until the voicemail was full and then the phone was disconnected. E-mails came back as undeliverable.

It was like Alex had just vanished off the face of the Earth, he was just gone.

And if things with Maria ended it meant that it had all been for nothing.

He’d have no Maria and he’d have no Alex. He’d be alone, really alone because there would be no accidental run ins with Alex in town, no talking, nothing.

Because Alex would still be gone.

When Max was actually up and moving around and not looking like the brush of a feather would knock him back on his ass, he tried to have the Sheriff open an inquiry to find out _something_. They got back a short letter saying that Captain Manes was currently back on active duty and any other information was classified at a level that they wouldn’t even tell them where he was stationed or if he was even still in the states.

At least it was confirmation that he was alive. And that had been a valid concern since he wasn’t talking to a single one of them.

Until all of sudden Jenna Cameron was breezing through town and she apparently _had_ been talking to Alex.

And talking to him regularly enough that she knew he was in the states (though not what state because she hadn’t physically seen him only talked to him on the phone) because she was actually doing some military contract work for him that she couldn’t tell them a single thing about.

“The pay is fucking fantastic so of course I didn’t say no when he asked,” she says with a smirk and a laugh. “I mean I’m not an idiot, I know a good thing when I have one handed to me on a silver platter.”

And that would be bad enough, Max’s one-time hookup being able to have actual conversations with Alex while they, his actual fucking friends are left out in the cold… but then Jenna lets Valenti convince her that _he_ should be able to talk to Alex. Something about how they were a team and honestly Michael had tuned him out because he hadn’t thought there was any possible way Jenna would fall for it.

But she does, and then Alex is calling Valenti. Not all the time, definitely not as frequently as he’s talking to Jenna probably. But more frequently then he’s calling any of them.

He thinks _that’s_ really when things started going sideways with Maria, when it became apparent that Alex wasn’t going to just wake up one morning and reach out to one or all of them.

And Maria blamed Michael for losing Alex and honestly Michael blamed Maria because she just could have said no. And Liz blamed both of them, Max and Isobel just thought they were all idiots, Rosa didn’t have an opinion one way or another and Valenti didn’t care because _he_ was actually getting to talk to Alex.

Things with Maria are bad enough though that he doesn’t go to the Wild Pony for drinks anymore; he ends up at Max’s slouched in one of his living room chairs with a beer hanging from his hand watching Liz and Max cuddle and Isobel and Rosa attempt small talk.

“This blows,” he mutters and he doesn’t think he says it loud enough for anyone to hear but Rosa looks over at him with dark eyes.

“I’m surprised you’re not just stalking Kyle waiting for Alex to call him,” she says.

“He tried that already, Kyle threatened to get his mom to issue a restraining order if he didn’t back off,” Liz says with a smirk.

“Valenti treated him like shit the entire time we were in school, couple of months hanging out and suddenly they’re all best buddies again. What the actual fuck…” Michael growls.

“You know they were friends, right?” Liz says, leaning forward with a serious expression on her face. “Their dads were friends and their moms were friends and they’ve known each other since they were in diapers. When we were in elementary school it was the two of them thick as thieves, sometimes letting other people into their little circle but just peripherally, not too close. I don’t think things went really bad between them until like 8th grade when…”

“Kyle figured out he was gay,” Michael finishes for her.

“Yeah,” Liz shrugs, “But they were friends for a really long time before that, so…”

Michael scowls and takes a drink, it’s not fair that Valenti gets to apologize and get his best friend back but Michael can’t even talk to Alex and explain what is going on in his head.

 

********************************

 

“You shouldn’t be in here,” Alex says when he gets to his office and finds General Rath sitting behind his desk looking over the bare expanse of it.

“You don’t even have pictures,” Rath says, Alex shrugs, he learned early on that having pictures meant explaining things. He doesn’t keep pictures, not out in view where anyone could look at them and determine who he is based on who he chooses to show to the world.

Alex twitches his hand and Rath stands smoothly, for all that he looks just like an older version of Michael it’s easy to tell them apart when he moves. Rath moves _nothing_ like Michael, there’s definitely no cowboy swagger to his step.

“He looks exactly like you,” Alex says, he balances his crutch against the side of his desk as he sits, pulls his laptop out of his bag and secures it to it’s base and then presses the buttons to power it on. It’ll take a moment to boot up so he leans back in his chair and watches as Rath stalks his office, there’s really no other word for what the man is doing then stalking.

The only pictures he has up are his military pictures: basic training, tech school, OCS… nothing personal, the people that Rath wants to see are not going to be in those pictures. Those are in a box at his apartment, he doesn’t look at them.

“He did as a child as well,” Rath muses. “Mara despaired of his hair every morning, but I was actually more interested in whether he had companions?”

“Max and Isobel,” Alex says, “They’re not yours too… are they? I mean they call each other siblings but I didn’t think they were actually…”

Rath laughs at him and shakes his head, his lips turned up into a grin, “No they are… Zan’s children,” he says, Alex wonders what he’d been going to say before he corrected himself. Rath tilts his head to the side, his face going serious as he looks at Alex.

“They tell us we’re to leave for Roswell in a few days,” he says. “I thought I might,” he waves a hand in the general direction of Alex’s head and focuses all his attention on him. “My son has left marks on your psyche…”

“I’m sorry, Michael did what?” Alex thinks he can be excused by the way his voice raises.

“He left marks, many of them, it’s a wonder you’re not a gibbering idiot in a corner with the way he’s left them all wide open and festering…” Alex just gapes at him unsure of what exactly Rath is telling him.

“I can’t remove them,” Rath says, he sounds apologetic, “only my son can do that, but I was reminded that we can smudge them a bit, lessen some of the strain that they’re putting on your mental faculties. Maybe make it a bit easier for you to function.”

Alex just looks at him, Michael had never said a word about marks or marking or anything. He’s fairly sure that Michael would have said something if he’d known that this was something he could do… if it was something he had already _done_.

He clears his throat, “what would you need to do?”

“Just…” Rath comes back around the desk and gestures for Alex to stand, he does, bracing his hand against the desk to steady himself when Rath reaches forward.

He cradles Alex’s head in his hands staring into his eyes and then lets out a long breath as his eyes go dark.

Alex startles and would move to take a step back, put some distance between them; but Rath doesn’t let him. He holds him solidly in place and there’s a moment of panic where he realizes that this man whose wife his father and brother had killed is quite literally in a position where he could snap his neck.

“None of that now,” Rath soothes, Alex makes a noise and later he won’t be able to explain the pressure on his mind, how he could _feel_ whatever Rath was doing and he hadn’t realized that all that pain, all that suffering and loneliness and absolutely _crippling self-doubt_ … that _wasn’t_ just his.

“You were caught in a loop with my son, he’s probably better at hiding his mind away, he would need to be if he were raised with the girl,” Rath says, Alex hadn’t realized he’d closed his eyes and when he opens them Rath’s eyes are Michael’s eyes again and he’s still cradling Alex’s head in his hands.

“He would have to love you immensely for the amount of marks he’s left in your mind to tie you to him.”

“His mom,” Alex says softly.

“I know my Mara’s fate,” Rath says quietly. He pulls Alex forward, tilts his head down so he can press his lips to Alex’s forehead, “I, _we_ do not hold you responsible for actions taken that were not your own.”

He takes a step back, moving his hands from Alex’s head to his arms, Alex isn’t sure why he’s still touching him.

“You are a worthy partner for my son, Captain,” he says, “though I’ll tell you, what I plan to tell him… if he doesn’t believe that to be the truth then he’ll remove the marks and I’ll take you for myself,” there is a self-satisfied smirk on Rath’s face that is so similar to ones that Alex has seen on Michael’s face that it takes him a second to register what Rath has actually said.

“Wait a minute, what…?”

Rath grins at him, “you are a strong ally for us, if my son can’t see that then I definitely have no issues with taking that ally for my own.”

 

 

********************************

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm at the point where I'm really loving General Rath and trying to remember why #malex are endgame. 
> 
> What it really boils down to is I need to stop reading twitter and Tumblr until the new season actually starts and it can disappoint me in real time instead of me worrying about worse case scenarios when they haven't even started filming yet...


	4. Chapter 4

**Moving Forward 4/?**

 

He’s not sure what he was expecting of Roswell, New Mexico.

The populated cities of Antar had been large tall buildings that gleamed in the light; multiple levels of roadway or airspace to use as transit. Ground space was filled and then buildings grew taller as there was more need.

There’s just so much emptiness here, as they’re walked through what the young soldier had called a ‘model home’ Rath despairs of the wasted space, he seems inordinately proud of the fenced in backyards and front yard landscaping.

“What am I supposed to do with a backyard?” Tyrel leans in to ask while the soldier continues talking about heating and air-conditioning options and showing one of the older woman how the oven works.

“I’ve got no clue, what is landscaping?” Rath shrugs, he keeps his eye on the soldier as he continues leading them through the house. “Maybe we’re supposed to build something of our own back there.”

“The houses are all set up identically,” at least that sounds right, most homes on Antar were replicas of each other, easy to move and navigate through if you didn’t need to continually be learning a new layout.

The soldier hands out numbered keys and Rath runs his thumb over the 5 on the tag he’s handed; just another old thing to add to the all the other old things they’ve encountered.

If any historians had made it off Antar he thinks they would be in heaven right now.

The soldier leaves them with a cheerful “if you need anything just feel free to call” and a wave as he gets in a car and drives away.

Then it’s just the first twenty of them that had been deemed physically and mentally healthy enough to be released staring at each other. He doesn’t think it’s a shock to anyone that the twenty here with him are half of the group that was with him in Aberline.

The remainder will come in a few weeks’ time as the houses that are being built are completed. Rath had tried to push for all of them to come at the same time, that they could live together as need be until more homes were built.

The Major had insisted that they all need their own private space and looked at him like he was crazy, he’s not; he just didn’t like leaving any of his people behind. Some he knows are in the best place for them, but the others should be here…

“Security upgrade on all of the buildings,” he says, he scans the group in front of him. Most are soldiers that served under him on Antar before they fled, some are much older than they had been, stasis chambers being among the first opened, some the same age they were when they went in.

He’s not sure how they determined which chambers to open and when, he would love to delve into the mind of any of the doctors that had been experimenting on his kin.

He’s been out of his stasis chamber for at the most a year, while Tyrel, who had been ten years his junior is now ten years his senior.

He wonders what Zan’s eyes will look like when he finally finds him: he wonders how much or how little Zan has aged.

They’re a distance apart, he can’t tell from the bond if he’s awake or if he’s still in stasis. He just knows that he’s alive somewhere.

“We’ll see if we can get the builders moving faster,” Tyrel says as the others start to move to their new dwellings.

Rath nods, in his pocket is a folded sheet of paper with three addresses that Alex had written down for him before they departed.

One for his son, the other two for Zan’s children.

Now that he’s here though, so close to the three of them, he wishes he were not.

Because as much as he would like to fold his son in his arms and remind him of how much he was loved by him and his mother… his son is now a grown man, not a seven-year-old being placed in stasis and his mother is dead.

He’s missed his son’s entire life, and from the little glimpses in Alex’s mind that he’d gotten when he’d been performing the smudging… his son had suffered greatly for it.

 

********************************

 

Alex feels good.

He doesn’t know what the hell Rath _actually_ did, maybe he was totally lying and there were no marks, or maybe Michael didn’t have to be the one to remove the marks after all; maybe Rath was able to do it.

Because he hasn’t felt this close to normal since, well ever that he can remember.

“I feel good,” he tells the Major at their bi weekly status meeting, six days after Rath has performed some minor miracle on his mental state and he’s been able to sleep six consecutive hours a night with no pharmaceutical assistance and the depression and anxiety aren’t downright crippling.

If he feels this good after Rath did whatever then someone needs to get Michael into therapy immediately.

It’s not going to be him, he thinks he’ll casually mention something to Kyle about having Michael talk to someone. He likely won’t, but he’s also not Alex’s problem so…

“So whatever mumbo jumbo General Rath was talking about actually worked?” the Major asks, he sounds surprised, Alex would probably have sounded that surprised if someone else was telling him this.

“I’ve slept six hours a night for the last five nights when I was averaging six hours of sleep total over like a week so I’m considering it a success,” Alex shrugs and the Major just looks at him like he can see the wheels turning in Alex’s head and knows exactly where this conversation is headed.

“You know I can’t authorize you for actual field duty,” the Major says, he sounds almost apologetic. “You’ve had a traumatic injury, they’ve discharged others for less, you’re lucky that your job doesn’t require you to have two working legs and we need you.”

“Just a milk run, something easy,” Alex says, he’s bored, when he’s bored he ends up diving down rabbit holes he shouldn’t be, the Major knows this as well as he does. “There’s a couple of warehouses in Upstate New York that I’ve been keeping an eye on and there’s been absolutely no activity for 72 hours, they’re probably completely empty and I don’t want to waste Cameron and the boys on it.”

The further they get away from Roswell the fewer survivors they’re finding, Tensinridge and Brocklow were both so empty there was visible layers of dust. He thinks his father was running out of resources to man the facilities and just abandoned them.

Because at some point people would start to ask questions.

He knows he would have, but he also thought his brothers had half a brain cell between the three of them and at least two of them were involved in Project Shepherd, he can’t wait to find out how Ryder is tied into this because if Hunter and Flint were, Ryder definitely was.

“A milk run,” the Major says slowly. “If you can convince your therapist that this is a good idea then I’ll consider it. I can’t authorize you to carry a weapon until you’re able to requalify…”

Which also means losing the crutch which Alex has become decidedly more dependent on over recent weeks.

“Just my cellphone,” Alex promises.

“Don’t think I don’t know that in your hands a cellphone is as much as a weapon as an actual gun.”

 

********************************

 

Michael feels wrong, he doesn’t know what it is or why it is, but he just feels…

“It’s just wrong,” he says, Max is looking over the table at him and Isobel is leaning into his side though she hasn’t tried to push into his head again.

“Can you maybe be more specific?” Max asks, he grins as Liz slides their plates in front of them then slips into the booth beside Max.

“Maxwell, if I could be more specific, I would be more specific,” he taps his fork against the side of his plate and just scowls at his eggs and hashbrowns. “It’s just _wrong_ , like something is fucking missing or something.”

He aggressively stabs into his eggs with the tines of his fork, Isobel lays a hand on his arms and he wants to scream in frustration because they don’t understand.

He doesn’t understand.

“I can try again,” Isobel says, “but other then the depression and trauma… have you _maybe_ thought about talking to someone?”

He shoots her a glare that she rolls her eyes at. “It was a suggestion, you might just be feeling like this because things ended with Maria”

It’s not Maria, if this was something being caused by Maria it would have started after their last screaming match on who was more to blame for things falling apart.

This started two weeks ago, and they had a mostly civil conversation where Maria didn’t throw him out of the Wild Pony with a shotgun pointed at his head two days prior to that, so not Maria.

If he had the money to put down he’d place it firmly on having something to do with Alex.

Alex is really the only one that fucks with his head like this.

Michael rubs a hand over his face, he’s exhausted. He’s not slept more then a handful of hours and the amount of acetone that he’s having to consume just to be able to function probably puts him on alcoholic or junkie level.

He hates this.

Plus the military is finally doing something out at the ranch, they’d been building houses and the occupants of those new houses have started to trickled into Roswell.

Michael hasn’t seen any of them himself. But he knows they’ve started coming into town to buy supplies and socialize some with the locals so it’s only a matter of time before he runs into the reason the military apparently wanted the ranch land bad enough.

He hadn’t thought it would be for fucking houses, for building a community… he’d figured some super-secret hangar or a military testing ground.

He glances up when a shadow falls over them, an older man is standing there in front of their table, face twisted in anger as he stares pointedly at Isobel.

“Betrayer,” he hisses, and Isobel looks up at him, confusion written into every line of her face.

“Excuse me?”

“Betrayer, they should have killed the both of you,” he snarls. He does it quietly, so it draws no attention; the Crash Down isn’t busy, it’s way too early for the lunch crowd and the breakfast crowd has mostly departed so no one has even noticed the man at the end of their table.

“Back off man,” Max says sharply, they’re penned in with the girls sitting on the outside of the booth so neither one of them can get up. Max looks pissed and if Michael could figure out how to move the table with his powers and get this asshole away from them he would.

“Enough,” another man, maybe a few years younger than the one hissing insults at Isobel is pulling on his arm.

“You can’t tell me you agree with just letting this go?” the man snaps, “Vilandra is the _reason_ we no longer have a home, they shouldn’t even have been allowed to come here.”

“ _They_ are not Vilandra you idiot, if the General catches you threatening them…”

“The General can’t be bothered to even come into town for his own supplies, so I can’t imagine the General cares all that much…”

“Or maybe the General figured that his subordinates could manage the few tasks they’ve been given without having their few _liberties_ removed.”

The voice is so familiar and when Michael looks up his brain just… stops… Isobel makes a noise beside him and if he could make his eyes look away from the door he’d probably see her eyes going wide and Max twisting in his seat to get a look at this man whose voice is fucking _his_.

The man looks like him, or how he imagines he’ll look in ten years if he hasn’t managed to get himself killed.

But maybe not, because this man that looks like him is clean and well dressed, no holes in this mans jeans, no scuffed boots, no artful stubble or just rolled out of bed hair.

A cowboy hat has probably never touched this man’s head. He probably doesn’t even own one.

“General Rath, sir,” the two men snap to attention, two others that Michael hadn’t even noticed slide out of a booth to come to attention as well.

There is a slim older man that had been sitting at the counter at one point, Michael had never even seen him leave, he steps to the side as the General… Rath… the man who fucking _looks_ like _him_ walks slowly forward.

Arturo has come out from the back and is looking back and forth between this guy and Michael, he can see Rosa coming from the direction of the bathrooms. Liz looks like she’s going to try and get out of the booth, Max reaches out to stop her, wrapping a hand around her arm and pull her closer to him.

“What did he say to you?” he asks, his focus is all on Isobel and the smile he throws her is achingly gentle.

“Um,” Isobel just stares at him, later she’s going to be angry at herself and then angry at him and Max for the fact she’s this taken aback.

“Bren?” he turns to the man that had been attempting to drag the other one away. “What did he say?”

Bren licks his lips and his eyes dart nervously over to the other man, “he…”

“I called her the betrayer,” the older man says through clenched teeth, “I said they should have killed them both.”

Rath nods once, “so we should hold the children accountable for the actions of their parent, do I understand correctly?”

The older man blinks at him.

“You forget though that they are not _just_ Vilandra’s children… they are Zan’s children as well, so he should suffer this loss because someone he loved betrayed us? I should suffer this loss? They are not mine by blood, but they are mine by bond. Should my son suffer the loss of their kinship to make you feel better?”

The older man has been going pale as Rath speaks in a slow quiet voice, Michael isn’t sure if anyone that’s not in their immediate area can actually hear him.

“Sir…” the man starts.

“Go back to your home, you are restricted for the remainder of the week. We’ll talk then and see if you feel the same,” Rath looks at him, his eyes are dark and Michael isn’t sure how but he can _feel_ the anger that is being tightly contained. “You are dismissed Tare.”

“Sir, I would never actually,” Tare starts.

“We are none of us innocent Tare, but we will not hold children accountable for actions that they were not part of. If one of them betrays us then you can hold up Vilandra’s actions and tell us that their blood was bad, and we should have known better,” Rath leans in, “but they have _not_ betrayed us and we will not hold them accountable for actions not their own.”

“Yes sir,” Tare bows his head slightly and stumbles away towards the door.

“Bren, go with him,” Rath says as he turns and watches as Tare goes out the door.

“Yes sir,” Bren says softly, he jerks his head towards the two that had stayed back and away and they both jerk their heads at Rath as they pass.

“Tyrel…” he starts and the man that had been with him at the door steps forward.

“General?”

“You will stay and talk with them, answer their questions, give them directions if they need them.”

“And what are you going to do, sir?”

Rath grins, all teeth and the look he shoots Michael is filled with meanings that he can’t decipher. He doesn’t respond just walks away, Michael feels like in a different universe he would be fucking whistling.

“Well,” Tyrel says, looking down at them, he sighs heavily and shakes his head.

“That…” Michael waves a hand at the door and he can’t say the words, the last time he’d claimed someone she’d been murdered. He can’t…

Isobel reaches for his hand, lacing their fingers and gripping them tight. Across the table Max is sitting there just staring at Tyrel like he holds the secrets of the universe.

And he does, he might… he’s like them after all. _They’re_ like them, not human… Michael doesn’t know what to do with the fact that a man who looks like him is a General, is very _visibly_ military, from the way he holds himself and walks and talks and the fact these men are all very visibly under his command and what the ever-loving fuck?

He tries again, he still can’t manage to get more then, “he’s….” but Tyrel takes pity on him and says the words he can’t.

“Your father, yes,” Tyrel manages a small quirk of the lips at them, at him, “he’s a bit of an asshole, but you’ll figure that out.”

********************************


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things to note (since someone brought it up in a comment):
> 
> I will not be using the cloning/hybird storyline from the original Roswell or the Roswell High novels. This means, simply, that Zan and Vilandra were not siblings, were instead spouses which resulted in twins Max and Isobel.

**Moving Forward 5/?**

 

Tyrel doesn’t explain anything, he instead asks them to come with him and like lambs being led to the slaughter they happily follow along.

They can’t say no, not when there’s a chance for answers and family… they leave an unhappy to not be invited along Liz at the Crashdown while Max shepherds them all into his jeep.

Michael doesn’t want to leave his truck, would rather have an avenue of escape that wasn’t dependent on Max, but he _also_ doesn’t want to miss a word this man says if he’s following along behind them and he decides to be chatty.

“Who are Vilandra and Zan?” Max asks, his eyes focusing on Tyrel in the rearview mirror instead of the road in front of them, but they’re driving out of town in the direction of the old ranch so Michael thinks it’ll be okay if they end up off-roading for a few miles because Max gets distracted.

“Your parents,” Tyrel says with a smile. “You have no memories of your lives before stasis?”

“No,” Michael shakes his head, “there’s nothing before we came out of the pods.”

“Odd,” Tyrel looks disturbed at that thought, “you were seven when you went into stasis, there should be something from before that time; though maybe it was too traumatic.”

“Are they still alive?” Isobel asks in a quiet voice, she’s twisted in her seat so she can look at Tyrel and her eyes are still wide, the hint of tears that she’s holding back by the strength of her desire to not appear weak in front of this person they don’t know.

“We’re fairly sure that Vilandra never made it off Antar,” Tyrel says matter-of-factly. “But the General is insistent that Zan is still alive somewhere… and if anyone would know that for a certainty without Vilandra here it would be the General.”

“Why?” Max asks and Tyrel raises a brow at him. “You said he would know, how would he know?”

“Because they’re bound,” Tyrel says, like it’s a fact that they should know, he looks at them and there’s a dawning realization on his face that they _don’t_ know what he’s talking about. “I wondered after the mess with the Captain’s marks… I told the General that there was a possibility that you didn’t even know what you had done.”

“Captain?” Michael looks at him because Tyrel is looking at him, and there’s only one military person that Michael has come into contact with that he would have had in a position to do anything with, so he knows _exactly_ who he’s talking about. “You’re talking about Alex, you’ve _talked_ to Alex.”

“I haven’t, not personally, but the General met with him once because he wanted to meet the young man that led to us being rescued from Aberline. Then he met with him again because you left a mess in the young man’s mind and there was some worry that if something wasn’t done that we would lose a valuable ally.”

“He did something to Alex’s mind,” it’s the only thing that would make sense, he knew that whatever was going on with his head was linked back to Alex and here’s the proof.

“You left your mind linked with his, and he’s not Antarian, he doesn’t carry any of the necessary training that we all learn from the moment we learn to walk and talk to block off the link on his end; so he was carrying all the depression and trauma that _you_ felt alongside his own. The General smudged your marks, if he hadn’t then the Captain would’ve likely continued deteriorating mentally and that was deemed unacceptable.”

“He had _no right_ to do that,” Michael says viciously. He hadn’t known about any marks, but no one has any rights to Alex’s mind save Alex himself.

“The Captain acquiesced when asked so the General _did_ have the right,” Tyrel looks at him, “the General will likely try and convince you to remove the marks, you should think very seriously on what your intentions are towards the Captain.”

“My _intentions_? Are we in some sort of fucking romance novel?” he snaps. “My intentions are Alex is _mine_.”

Tyrel is just looking at him and Isobel is shaking her head and likely despairing of him being able to act like anything other than a two-year-old that hasn’t been taught how to share.

“I’d really hoped that you would take after your mother, but it seems that the General’s gene’s run strong and true.”

 

********************************

 

 

Rath has just settled into the couch to wait when he hears the slamming of doors and angry sputtering. It’s his voice so that’s his son in a temper and he would grin but instead schools his face into what Tyrel calls his ‘disapproving General’ look and waits.

Tyrel doesn’t knock, they’ll need to talk about that later, he just leads a red-faced Michael, and bemused Isobel and Max through the front door.

He focuses on Max first, the differences between Max and Zan are noticeable in the tiniest ways, Zan preferred to keep his hair closely cropped, and his face clean shaven. Max obviously doesn’t, other than those differences their features are similar enough to point to this being Zan’s son.

Isobel on the other hand is the absolute _spitting_ image of her mother, though Vilandra would likely not have been caught anywhere with her hair in a simple tie; there would have been elaborate braid and beads and stones interwoven throughout.

If one had looked at Zan and Vilandra they would have assumed that Vilandra was the one with hundreds of years of royal blood in her lineage by the way she dressed and held herself, but they would be wrong.

It was Zan who grew up with the diamond encrusted gold spoon in his mouth and never wanted for anything.

“You had no right,” Michael snarls at him and Rath would laugh at the anger on his sons face but he _can_ actually understand. If someone had smudged the marks connecting him to Zan he would likely be just as infuriated.

There is a difference though, he knows what those marks are capable of, Zan knows what those marks are capable of; Alex… he had no clue what those marks could do and was the one suffering for it.

“You wanted me to leave the marks open?” Rath asks in a mild tone. “Are you punishing him for him some folly?”

“What?”

“I’d thought you loved him, with the amount of times you marked his mind I thought that to be the only excuse for them that made sense, but if you were using the marks to punish him…”

“I’m not punishing anyone,” Michael states viciously, he’s so angry, Rath can remember being young and angry, he doesn’t remember ever being _so_ young and angry that taking that anger out on Mara or Zan though their marks was ever a viable solution.

“The marks were open,” Tyrel says gently, “which meant that it was a constant link between his mind and your mind and you were feeding all your emotions directly down the link to him and he had no way to filter any of it out or send any of it back. You were in a constant one-way loop with his mind the only end point.”

“You were driving him crazy,” Rath says simply. “And I’ll tell you what I told him, if you feel that he is no longer a worthy partner then I’ll show you how to remove the marks so he can be left in peace,” he doesn’t finish off with same proclamation he’d made to Alex, he’s treading a very thin line with his son right now.

Michael is already looking very red in the face, angry at the fact that someone else had touched a mind that he’d deemed his and his alone.

If he knew that Rath was waiting in the wings to take Alex for himself if Michael chooses to let him go, then he would likely be stubborn and keep him even if he no longer wanted him. He doesn’t look over at where Tyrel is probably very obviously judging him.

He thinks though, that his son very much _does_ still want Alex.

Rath waves a hand at the assorted seating space around the living room.

Michael stays standing, but Max and Isobel both seat themselves in the couch across from his. Tyrel just hovers, ready to intervene, Rath supposes if Michael becomes violent.

“It’ll be interesting to see how far and fast he progresses now that he’s only dealing with his own depression instead of both of yours,” he muses.

 

********************************

 

Alex gets his own little contingent of soldiers to babysit him while he goes to New York. The facility has stayed inactive, he’d been half worried that someone would trigger the alarms he had set, and he’d be grounded before he’d even gotten back into the field.

Now, with flashlight in hand and a Senior Airman named Drummond at his elbow he thinks that maybe being grounded wouldn’t be so bad. There’s something eerie and off about the storage facility, and their search is being hindered by the fact that there is no power which means no lights of any sort.

They’re should be a generator to power a series of backup lights, but the generator had been completely dead and so now they wander around in the dark with only flashlights to guide their way.

“This feels exactly like a horror movie,” Drummond says in a whisper and his voice echoes back at them.

“Yeah, but are we the beginning of the horror movie when everyone dies to show the audience how serious things are? Or are we the middle of the horror movie when the heroes stumble upon all the dead bodies?”

“If someone starts losing clothes or their virginity I’m going to have to peace out.”

Alex snorts and rolls his eyes under the cover of darkness, “At least you have a weapon,” he mutters.

“Major said that you need to requalify before you get a weapon,” Drummond reminds him. “You have the mace just in case.”

Alex doesn’t need the reminder, he’d been there when the Major issued his proclamation that Captain Manes did not get a weapon aside from the mace to the entire group before they hit the road.

And if at any point they thought the warehouse was no longer a safe environment for someone _not_ armed and thought they might have to give him a weapon to defend himself or them?

Well then, they were to bundle him back into their vehicles and wrap him in bubble wrap and tissue paper. He didn’t really say that part at the end, but it was very heavily implied.

Alex thinks this warehouse is very much _not_ safe for someone armed with a flashlight and mace, but no one has called it and sent him back to the vehicles, so he considers it a very small win at this point.

“Found something down on sub level one,” comes across the radio and Alex exchanges a look with Drummond. No power, that means stairs. Alex uses his flashlight to get his bearings and they find the stairwell sign at the same time.

“I should go first,” Drummond says when they get there, he leans his body into the door, this whole warehouse has been abandoned for a _long_ time. Half the doors won’t open without a little bodily encouragement. Some of them won’t open at all.

Alex shines his flashlight down the stairwell and lets Drummond take point; he follows behind him, taking the steps one at a time, no crutch for him today because they’re in the field and he needs these guys to not treat him like he’s a cripple that needs to be protected. Though the crutch would have given him a nice weapon if needed.

One of the others meets them at the door, propping it open with a fire extinguisher that looks as if it’s seen better days.

“What did you find?” Alex asks and the soldier just shakes his head, leads them down the dark hallway.

Sergeant Talbot is standing at a bay of windows and he turns to them when they walk up, flashlight pointed at the ground.

“What did you find?” Alex asks and Talbot just gestures to the windows, Alex doesn’t know what to call the expression on his face. He steps up beside him and the flashlight illuminates just enough that he thinks he understands the expression now.

Because of all the things he expected to find… an abandoned facility, with alien victims dead in their cells being at the top of the list… he didn’t expect this.

He can’t see to the end with just his flashlight, there’s a single thin aisle framed on either side by pods. Pods whose control pads are faintly illuminated which he thinks is showing that they’re still in use.

“Maybe we got the address wrong and we’ve stumbled into someone’s cryogenic freezer storage?” Talbot asks hopefully.

“No,” Alex says and he takes a step back, sees the door the left of the window bay and takes quick steps towards it before anyone can stop him.

“Sir,” Drummond is right behind him, catching the door as Alex goes through and then darting down the three steps to be in front of him. “The Major will _absolutely_ have us on the shittiest detail he can find if something happens to you.”

“They’re all asleep, nothing is going to happen to me,” Alex says, he steps up to the first pod on the left and points his flashlight directly at the face plate.

Young woman, about his age, eyes closed, face slack in her never-ending sleep.

He checks the control panel and the symbols are what he’s come to understand is Antarian, they’re likely _all_ Antarian and he thinks they’ve found where they were hiding the pods until they opened them to get new victims.

“We’re going to need a bigger a truck,” Talbot says. “Several trucks probably.”

“We need to do a count, see how many pods are left in here,” Alex says. “And we’re going to need help to get them all loaded.”

He’s probably going to also need to call Rath, he wonders if he’s actually spoken to Michael yet.

 

********************************

 

“Where are you guys’ right now?” he asks once Jenna answers the phone. He’s called her three times in the past hour and each time it’s gone to voicemail.

“Hi Jenna, how’s it going Jenna, how’s your latest trip to a creepy prison going Jenna?” Jenna says with a laugh.

“How fast can you and your team get to New York, Jenna?”

“So I’m guessing your abandoned warehouse wasn’t so abandoned?” Jenna’s tone goes all serious in a split second.

“It’s abandoned in the sense that we’re the only ones walking around,” Alex says, even though both phones are secure, that’s not to say that the walls might not have ears that he hasn’t found yet.

“Driving will take about twelve hours if I let the boys have a pee break, we could fly but we’re in east bumfuck nowhereville and that means _at least_ one connection, it’ll be much faster to drive,” Jenna says. “Can you secure the site for that long?”

“Yeah,” Alex glances around the still dark warehouse, “it might even give us time for someone to beat the generator into working and get us at the very least some auxiliary power going so we can see what the fuck we’re doing.”

“Are you all running around there in the dark, because you know that’s like the beginning of a bunch of a whole bunch of horror movies?”

“No one has lost even so much as a top, and no one has fessed up to being the requisite virgin.”

“Well no, because no one wants to out themselves as the red shirt.”

 

********************************


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So some eagle-eyed readers might notice a pairing change. It will be slow burn, like the slowest of slow burn but this will eventually end up Alex/Michael.

**Moving Forward 6/?**

 

Rath sends the children away when it turns dark and it becomes apparent that they’ll actually keep him and Tyrel up all night talking about Antar and Zan and Vilandra and Mara and things that Rath has not been able to fully come to grips with himself let alone how to explain them to the children.

He’d really hoped that Tyrel would do the dirty work, that he would explain Vilandra’s betrayal and Zan’s decision to evacuate as many as possible before Kivar’s forces could destroy them completely.

They’d still lost so many though, he’s not met a healer or a civilian since he’d been woken. He doesn’t know if those ships never made it off Antar or if they were all lost the moment they stepped foot on this planet.

With a few minor exceptions, all those that Rath has come into contact with have been his military brethren, the ones that had evacuated with him and Zan when they’d realized Antar was lost to them and there was no hope to retake it.

At least the children survived. Mara survived as well, just not long enough for him to find her.

His heart grieves for all those that they lost, and they don’t have time for that.

They need to find Zan, need to find the remainder of those that evacuated with them that survived. They need to make sure that Zan and the children are well hidden so if Kivar _does_ manage to trace them to this planet that they’re not a shining beacon showing him where to focus his efforts.

He wants to keep the children close, protect them. But instead he sends them away, so they can sleep in their own beds for as long as possible; so he can feign sleep that doesn’t come very readily any longer.

So his son can have time to calm down over the fact that Rath has been in the mind of someone he’s deemed as his and his alone.

“He didn’t know the first thing about bonding or the marks,” Tyrel comments from where he’s sitting slouched in a chair with an empty glass in his hand.

“I’m aware, but the instinct is ingrained, he loves the Captain and his mind knew exactly what to do to make sure they stayed intrinsically linked for all of time,” Rath says, for all he was intent on taking Alex for himself if his son couldn’t be brought around to see reason; he knows there’s no real need for that avenue.

Which is both a blessing and a curse.

Because having met him in person, having touched his mind the way he had… Rath is aware that Alex has already mentally left Michael to save himself from the pain of watching him move on; he’s not going to willingly put himself in a position where Michael can hurt him like that again.

Marks or no marks, bond or no bond.

He leans his head back and stares at the ceiling. He’s not a matchmaker, that would have been Mara or even Vilandra at one time.

He doesn’t have the first clue on how to fix this mess between his son and Alex. Though he does think that given enough time Alex will come back on his own.

He doesn’t know how the bonds work on non-Antarian minds, Alex hadn’t known it was there but from what he has seen the people of their new home don’t bond like that.

If there was a healer or a science mind around they would likely be begging to study Alex and Michael, to see how the bond works between them. To see if Alex could be trained to _see_ and _feel_ the bond the way they do.

He doesn’t think the bond would have taken, that his son would have been able to mark Alex at all if there wasn’t _some_ potential for Alex being able to form a reciprocal bond given the time and training.

Because bonds are mostly formed on instinct.

That instinct is what had driven Rath and Zan to bond at fifteen, when the threat of Rath being sent away to military school and Zan being forced to stay home without him had forced them to admit to things neither one of them would have otherwise.

Not at that time anyway. He doesn’t regret it, Zan never voiced a regret either because as he was fond of telling him, Rath was his, this was just their brains way of making sure it stayed that way.

“Zan’s son is bound as well, though he doesn’t seem to have left a mess behind for us to clean up,” Tyrel muses, his tone suggests he’s judging Rath for Michael’s inability to keep his marks all nicely contained and not bleeding all over the Captain’s mind. “His daughters bond is broken, I can’t tell if it was intentional or if her partner was killed.”

“Both I think,” Rath says tightly, “some meditation would not be amiss to make sure they fade on their own without putting undo stress on her psyche.”

“There’s an old bond there, something faint, couldn’t really see it under the broken one,” Tyrel says.

“Yes, I saw it as well,” Rath says, it’s very faint, years old and has not been touched since it was created. He could see it there though, obscured mostly by the broken bond but still there.

Two different bonds in the girls’ mind.

“Zan still lives?” Tyrel asks as he pushes himself to his feet, sets the empty glass on the little table and stretches his arms high above his head.

He asks every night, they all ask. Does our King still live? Do we still have purpose, a leader to protect?

Rath touches the bond in his mind connecting him to Zan, lets it pulse gently as he closes his eyes for a moment. He doesn’t know where he is or how he is or even if he’s awake, but he knows he’s still there.

“Zan still lives.”

 

********************************

 

There’s 56 pods with occupants, there’s another 40 empty pods stacked ten high against the back wall. He wonders how many others storage units like this there are.

Because they’ve rescued over 80 Antarians from facilities, only 40 empty pods… the math doesn’t add up. Which means other storage units with more pods just waiting to be found.

They get the generator going about 30 minutes before Jenna shows up with her team in tow.

“You look different,” are the first words out of her mouth and he blinks at her, looks down at himself then back at her. He’s in a uniform, but he doesn’t think she’s talking about that.

“I’m… sorry?”

She waves a hand at him and squints her eyes like that’s going to be able to show her what’s different, he doesn’t have the first clue what the hell she’s talking about. He looks the same, though probably a bit more tired then usual, “you look different… happier maybe, there’s less lines in your face.”

“It’s a wonder what therapy will do when you’re only dealing with 28 years of your _own_ trauma and not 28 years of yours plus 21 years of someone _else’s_.” She raises an eyebrow at him and he doesn’t elaborate further, she may have had something going on with Max, but she wasn’t going crazy, so chances are Max didn’t do whatever to her mind that Michael did to his.

“You know they broke up, right?”

“Jenna,” he starts with a sigh.

“Sorry, but I’ve got a captive audience because you can’t hang up on me the minute I utter a word beginning with the letter M in conversation,” she says sounding very much _not_ sorry in the least. “He spends more time pissed off that Kyle gets to talk to you then he does at anything else.”

“I don’t want to talk about them,” Alex says evenly. “I just want them to be happy…”

“Well they’re obviously _not_ , because they crash and burned pretty spectacularly about two months ago, I wasn’t there but I heard _all_ about it the last time I was in Roswell.”

“Kyle?”

“Kyle,” she confirms with a grin, “he’s like a gossipy old biddy, it’s hilarious.”

“It still doesn’t mean anything,” Alex says. “If it’s not Maria, it’ll be someone else. Michael holds me responsible for his mom being dead, for everything that happened to him…” And deep down he knows Michael doesn’t, once Rath did the smudging the first thing that faded off was the self-loathing, Michael doesn’t blame him… he blames himself.

For not being fast enough or strong enough or just plain _enough_.

But Alex can’t think about that, can’t let himself _actually_ let himself hope that if Michael doesn’t hate him for his father’s actions that means they have a chance… because that means going back to Roswell and he _can’t_.

He’s not stationed in Roswell, it’s understood that he won’t _be_ stationed anywhere near Roswell because the Major is going to keep him as close as possible while they unravel the overlying government conspiracy that has resulted in Project Shepherd being able to run with no oversight for years past when it was supposed to have been shut down.

He’s got vacation, he might be able to visit, but it’ll be six years before he can offer any type of commitment to anyone not in his immediate vicinity.

And long-distance relationships, from what he’s seen, have mostly been doomed to failure.

“That was your dad, _not_ you, and I really think he _doesn’t_ , why else would he be trying to see how far he can push before Kyle actually _does_ get the restraining order he keeps threatening him with.”

“A restraining order, really?” Alex laughs a bit.

“He’s been trying to figure out the pattern to when you actually call Kyle, he hasn’t been able to pin it down yet…”

“Probably because there isn’t one, I call Kyle when I need to talk to Kyle,” Alex shrugs. He wonders if it’ll be easier to talk to Kyle now that he’s not trying to weed through Michael’s absolute dislike of the other man when he was once one of Alex’s best friends.

They stand there in silence for a minute, their two team leaders have been sizing each other up likely to see which one is going to end up being in charge.

The answer is neither, because Alex outranks them both, but they let them have their pissing match anyway because it keeps them occupied and semi-happy.

“Are we taking them all? Even the empty ones?” Jenna finally asks.

“Yeah, Major says to contain everything we can.”

“We can stack the empty ones a couple high, I’d rather not stack the ones that have actual Antarians in them,” Jenna says.

“Or we can just stand them up and put 50 on one truck and the remaining 46 on the other,” Alex says thoughtfully, his brain is doing the Tetris configurations in his head and he thinks that’s what going to work best.

“You called General Rath yet to let him know what we found?” Jenna nudges him with her elbow. “What do you think the chances are that Max’s parents are going to be in one of those?”

“With our luck? Either really good or really bad,” there’s really no halfway.

 

********************************

 

Michael stays with Isobel now that things are over with Maria, he’d tried going back to the Airstream but for all that he hadn’t spent any significant time there, it’s filled to the brim with too many memories of Alex.

“So therapy?” Isobel says as they sit across from each other at her kitchen table. Max has gone home to explain what they’ve learned to Liz, he might be back if Liz takes exception to the fact that he basically kept her away just in case they turned violent and tried to kill them.

They _both_ might be back if Liz has questions that Max can’t or won’t answer. It doesn’t mean that Isobel or he will have any other information, but they might have different insight.

“Do you think he was right?” Michael asks, he’s got a beer open in front of him, he hasn’t taken a drink of it, just been working on peeling the label off.

“Who?”

“My… dad,” his mouth twitches at the words, they feel unruly against his lips. He’s not the one with a dad or a mom, he’s the one left alone.

“He said I was driving Alex crazy. That was why he did whatever he did in Alex’s head.”

“The smudging,” Isobel nods, like she knows any more about what was being talked about then he does. He didn’t even know they could bond or mark or whatever bullshit the General and Tyrel were talking about.

“I think there were times I felt so closely connected to…” she swallows roughly. “It makes more sense then anything else I can think of.”

Michael pushes the beer away and lays his head down against the table, he can feel Isobel’s hand on the back of his neck.

“At least you know you aren’t going crazy,” she says. “You knew something was different we just didn’t have any idea on how to see what it was.”

“I was hurting him Iz,” Michael mumbles into the table. “I don’t like thinking that I was doing it on purpose even subconsciously. I want him to want to come back, and if all he knows is my _dad_ had to do stuff to his brain because _I_ did stuff to his brain that I didn’t even know I did? How does that make him want to come back?” _To me_ is left is unsaid, the way Isobel strokes her fingers through the curls on the back of his head he thinks she understands.

“You know Rosa won’t even talk to me,” she says quietly. “I have all these vague memories of us being able to talk about anything, I remember wanting to do _everything_ for her, I wanted to run away with her; but how do I know which feelings were mine and which ones were _his_?”

Michael lifts his head up and looks at her, his sister who isn’t his sister after all.

“Therapy?” he asks softly.

“I’m going to sound like I have a split personality,” Isobel laughs quietly.

“At least you weren’t trying to drive the guy you’re crazy in love with just plain crazy.”

 

********************************

 

Max shows up with Liz and Rosa in tow in the morning, Michael has just barely managed to crawl out of bed and is holding the coffee with a liberal dash of acetone to his face waiting for it to cool down enough for him to inhale.

Isobel on the other hand has showered, dressed and looks immaculately put together. If her expression shutters a bit at Rosa not even making eye contact with her… if you didn’t know her you wouldn’t be able to tell.

Michael does know her, so he reaches out to squeeze her hand as she brushes past him.

“I can’t believe you left me behind,” Liz is still fuming it seems.

“She’s been saying that since last night,” Rosa says as she sits in the chair next to Michael.

“What if they turned out to be dangerous? You heard what that one guy said to Isobel,” Max says.

“I don’t need to be protected, Max,” she snaps, “I can protect myself, I thought you knew that by now.”

“I do, and I know, I just…” Max sputters and Michael pushes himself away from the table, he likely has time to shower and change and they’ll still be having the same argument when he comes back out.

They don’t even notice him leaving, Rosa does, and she rolls her eyes, Isobel manages a wan smile in his direction.

He needs to do laundry, but he’s got clean underwear and there’s a pair of jeans that aren’t _too_ dirty; a shirt he doesn’t actually remember ever owning in the closet which means Isobel has been trying to surreptitiously add new items to his wardrobe again.

He doesn’t drown himself in the shower, he does use the good shampoo and the good bodywash that Isobel stocks for him. He gets dressed and brushes his teeth then ruins it by drinking his now cool enough to drink cup of coffee in three gulps.

The bottle of acetone is sitting right beside the mouthwash, he touches it, is tempted with every molecule in his body to just down the whole thing and pass out in his bed. But he doesn’t because they’ll be going back out to the ranch and the last thing he wants is for his _dad_ to know that he’s basically a junkie that can’t go a day without the help.

He considers it a minor miracle that he doesn’t turn right back around and lock himself in the bathroom when he walks out of it and sees the Ortecho sisters sitting cross legged on his bed.

“Isobel is calling therapists, she says you agreed to go talk to someone if she went with, Max is lending morale support,” Liz says by way of explanation.

Rosa doesn’t say anything, just looks at him with her wide knowing eyes.

“Well apparently, I was trying to drive Alex insane with the power of my mind, and me being crazy now is because my _dad_ did something with the bond thing,” Michael mutters, he’s hoping she can’t hear him because _that_ makes him sound like a crazy person himself.

And he’s still not sure he believes all the horse shit about bonds and marks. In the morning light it seems fantastical and not real. Something that should be in a movie or a novel, not something that you do on accident because you’re an alien who’s fallen in love with a human.

“Max said,” Liz nods. When he hazards a look over at her she doesn’t look like she’s judging him, she just looks sad. Like she knows as well as he does that Rath doing that is just getting them one step closer to Alex being able to let go of them completely and never come back.

“He said he could show me how to remove the marks if I wanted to.”

He sits down on the edge of the bed and Liz reaches out to touch his hand, slowly, carefully, like he’s an injured animal that would just as soon bite her hand off then accept comfort.

“No one would judge you if you wanted to… but do you _want_ to do that?” she asks softly. She looks like she already knows the answer to the question and when he thinks about the bond he didn’t know about being gone, that last bit of Alex that he has tied to him being torn away… he feels like his heart is going to shatter into a million pieces and he’ll never be able to find them all again to put back together.

“No,” he breathes. Liz moves on the bed and wraps her arms around his shoulders, leaning against his back.

He can’t believe anyone wants to touch him with how badly he fucked things up with Alex. And he dragged Maria into it with him, like he was trying to make it virtually impossible for Alex to want him anywhere near him.

“Then we fix it,” she murmurs.

“How? He won’t even talk to me, to us. He talks to fucking Valenti and Cameron, but they’re tight lipped about how they even get in touch with him.”

“He calls Kyle,” Rosa says. “Not the other way around, he won’t give Kyle his number, so he hasn’t opened up all lines of communication with him… I don’t know who Cameron is but it’s probably the same thing.”

Liz rests her chin on his shoulder, he touches her arm, “we’ll fix it.”

 

********************************


	7. Chapter 7

**Moving Forward 7/?**

 

The children are back after the sun has rose high in the sky and Rath has retreated from his landscaped front yard that he still doesn’t understand the purpose of to the middle of his house where he stands in front of the air conditioner and wonders if there wasn’t somewhere _anywhere_ cooler to send them.

“I don’t like this heat,” he says when Tyrel ushers the children in, there’s two new in attendance, a brief glance shows the older girl as being the one bound to Zan’s son and the younger girl as the owner of the old faint barely there bond hidden away in Zan’s daughters mind.

He doesn’t want to judge and he’s sure there’s a story there; but if he attempted to date the old bond the girl would have been a generous nine when it was formed.

“You get used to it,” Max says.

“Sure, can we hope for that to happen soon?” Tyrel says, he’s clad in only a t-shirt and a pair of light green short pants. Rath is jealous because he only has long pants in his closet.

“Where did those come from?” he demands, waving at them. The children all look confused but they’re not important, Rath has a _need_ for the short pants.

“I bought them?” Tyrel says slowly. “The last time we were in town.”

“Hmm,” that means another town visit, which means interacting with people again.

“So who are our new guests?” Rath asks as he waves at the conglomeration of seats, the two new girls sit together, Max right next to the older girl. Isobel and his son sit on the love seat and Tyrel joins him in standing directly in front of the air conditioner.

“Liz Ortecho and her older sister Rosa,” Max is saying and Rath stills for a second, tilts his head to the side. Then exchanges a look of confusion with Tyrel.

“I kind of brought her back from the dead,” Max says, his face does something weird, like he’s embarrassed but not really.

“I’m sorry but I could have sworn you just said you resurrected her?” Tyrel asks slowly his voice raising on each word, Rath just stares at him because what the hell.

“Yeah, Izzy killed her, but it wasn’t really Isobel it was _Noah_ taking over her mind and it wasn’t Isobel’s fault,” Max rushes to get all the words out, Isobel is staring at her hands in her lap like they’re fascinating, and his son just looks bored and tired.

“What he’s not telling you is it almost killed _him_ ,” Michael drawls from where he’s slouching on the couch, “but Isobel and I were able to bring him back too. Eventually.”

Tyrel is hiding his face in his hands like he just despairs of any of them making good choices; and Rath just stares at the children because what the hell.

“Start from the beginning,” he says slowly as he walks forward and sits in the chair he’d sat in last night and eyes each one of them. “Spare no detail.”

 

********************************

 

The story doesn’t get any less convoluted, Isobel pulls a picture of her and her husband Noah out of her purse to show them.

“I don’t recognize him,” Tyrel says after studying the picture and handing it off to Rath. There’s something in the man’s features that _look_ familiar but it might just be the arc of his nose reminds him of someone he once served with.

“Shapeshifter?” he asks and Tyrel shrugs, they’ve not encountered any since they arrived. But they _are_ shifters, maybe they were better able to hide themselves and escape detection. Though in the end most shapeshifters had aligned with Kivar there would have no need for them to run after Antar fell and Zan had made the call to evacuate.

But the possibility that one might have been here, that he would have been able to get so close to Isobel fills him with the sort of anger that makes it likely a _good_ thing that the children dealt with him before he was able to.

“He was obsessed with Rosa,” Isobel says quietly, she’s still staring at her hands, he presses out with his mind to gain her attention and she looks up at him with shock in her eyes when she feels the touch.

“Tell me the rest,” he urges gently and Isobel makes a face, tears filling her eyes but not spilling.

“He used me to kill her,” she says, her voice breaking. Michael reaches out to take her hand and shoots a glare at Rath. Max leaves Liz’s side and squeezes onto the love seat on the other side of Isobel, arm going over her shoulder to hug her close.

“I don’t even know what feelings are mine and which ones were his,” she says, she leans into her brothers side and tugs Michael closer to her with her hand.

He stares at her and when he has her attention back he directs her gaze inward, to that faint, barely there bond that leads from her back to Rosa.

“That’s yours,” he says, “he wouldn’t have been able to do that, your mind is yours, he was just riding it as distasteful as that sounds. But that bond, he couldn’t form that, that was all you… and her,” he looks over at where Rosa is clutching at Liz’s hand now and staring at Isobel as if she’s never seen her before.

“Meditation,” Tyrel announces with a clap, “I think we should start training off with meditation and focus activities.”

Like they would if the children were still _actual_ children and figuring out how to navigate their gifts.

“Michael and I were talking about therapy,” Isobel says, her tone sounds so much lighter then it did just minutes before.

“That would be good as well, the Major is supposed to have some doctors assigned to us, one of them is likely to be a mind healer of some sort,” Rath says.

“Oh,” Liz says suddenly and her posture straightens, she looks shocked for a second and then she starts laughing.

“Liz?” Max asks, he hasn’t moved, still has his arm over his sisters’ shoulder offering her support that she so clearly needs.

“One of the last times Alex talked to Kyle he asked if he’d ever thought about private practice, Kyle told him he had a job already and that was that.”

“Jesus,” Michael mutters.

 

********************************

 

Tyrel ushers Michael, Max and Isobel into the covered porch area for their first meditation and focus session. The boys both insist they don’t need it but Liz mutters power outage and Isobel mumbles Alex’s name and they both look betrayed but follow along behind Isobel with no other complaints.

The area is shaded and the cool air from the air conditioner keeps it comfortable. Rath has been thinking of moving his bedroom out there, or at the very least a pallet since the bed is way too soft to be comfortable.

“I have water and some sort of tea thing,” Rath announces when he has Liz and her sister seated at his kitchen table.

“Water is fine,” Liz says, Rosa just shrugs like she has no care one way or another. There’s a spark about her, he can see what would have drawn Isobel’s eye.

He fills three glasses and sits them in front of them then takes a seat.

“How long do you think this will take?” Liz asks.

“Until it’s done, I think it would be good for all of them to get to some sort of balance or at least find some semblance of where it is,” Rath says, he rubs at his chest.

He _should_ be the one doing this.

As Michaels father, as bond father to Max and Isobel, he should be the one leading the training, but Tyrel knows him, he knows that when Rath looks at Michael all he can see is Mara’s nose. When he looks at Max he sees Zan’s chin, at Isobel and there are Zan’s eyes.

And _neither_ of them are here and he knows he’s going to screw this all up. He told that to Mara when he was holding a tiny red faced discontent Rath the Eighteenth in his arms.

_“I don’t know how to be a father,” he said and the tiny version of him screamed his agreement at him._

_“You’ll learn,” Mara said, looking at him with bright warm tired eyes. He looked at the crying, squirming version of him and Mara and thought she was not wrong about many things but he was fairly certain she was wrong about this._

_“You’re holding him wrong,” Zan said, leaning over his shoulder. Rath just looked at him in askance and when Rath didn’t shift how he was holding the child, Zan finally sighed then took Rath the Eighteenth out of his arms and cradled him in his. Exactly the same way that Rath had been holding him except now the baby quieted and even cooed slightly at Zan._

_Zan laughed at the expression on his face and pressed a soft kiss to the line of his jaw, Rath mollified for the time went to curl up next to Mara on the bed and hold her while Zan bounced their son and sang a soft song to him._

_Zan on the other hand was going to be a good father when the twins came; Vilandra was still heavy with them, though were told they’d come at any time, he thought it was fitting that Zan the twenty-fourth and Vilandra the nineteenth would be born so close to the same time as his son._

_They’d be raised as siblings, as they should be._

He’d had no idea how right he’d be. He’d had no idea that he wouldn’t be involved in his son’s childhood at all.

“I told Michael that we’d fix things,” Liz says to him, Rosa stays silent on the other side of her.

“Between him and the Captain?” Rath asks.

“Yeah, but it’s kind of hard to do that if we can’t actually open a line of communication up with Alex,” Liz says pointedly.

“You want to know if I have some way of contacting him,” Rath says, he takes a drink of the water he really doesn’t want and studies the woman in front of him. She raises an eyebrow at him and he grins, she’s a good match for Zan’s son. Just like Alex is a good match for his son and he’s sure that Rosa will be a fine match for Zan’s daughter when it’s all said and done.

They all made good choices without any of their parents in their ears guiding their way.

“I don’t have any way of contacting him,” he says. He’d asked for a number for him, he wasn’t sure how long the smudge would last and if for some reason his son couldn’t be taught how to not bleed his emotions over into Alex’s head they would need to do it again until Michael could be taught to block his end.

The Major had looked apologetic but had also been firm in saying no to the request.

 

********************************

 

Michael doesn’t meditate, doesn’t really see the point on any given day and there’s about an hour where he thinks this is pointless and he’s going to leave at any minute and then something _clicks_.

He doesn’t know if it’s the quiet words that Tyrel is humming or the sense of Isobel and Max on either side of him, or even the sense of his father sitting a room away… or if it’s the way that once his breathing settles into a steady rhythm that he can actually _see_ the bond linking him to Alex.

It’s swollen and red and when he touches it gently in his mind, there’s flashes of images. Their first kiss, the first time their hands brushed accidentally, the first time they made love instead of fucking.

He breathes, and he follows the bond until there’s suddenly a wall there that stops him, it makes the other side hazy and unreadable and he understands suddenly what ‘smudging’ is.

When Rath had smudged the bond in Alex’s mind, he didn’t block it so much as streak it. Like running a finger through a line of charcoal. Michael can’t feed his thoughts and feelings directly through it because it’s not a direct path into Alex’s head anymore.

But he can _see_ the other side and he brushes the bond on his side of the wall with hands that don’t actually move or feel or touch anything and he can _see_ the bond on the other side of the hazy wall pulse gently in response.

He touches the bond where it goes through the hazy wall, thinks about how much he loves Alex, how much he just wants to hear his _fucking voice_ and he feels it rumble against not there fingertips; it startles him for a moment when he thinks he feels an answering rumble from the other side.

He wants to break through that wall and tumble everything he’s feeling good and bad right back into Alex’s head. So he knows he’s still there, that he’s still waiting.

He doesn’t, he wants to, is _so_ tempted to, but Tyrel is there as he’s thinking it and he gently guides him away. Back into his own head.

He opens his eyes and breathes and when he focuses Tyrel is watching him.

“I could see it,” he says softly and next to him Max is nodding looking thoughtful and Isobel looks broken but hopeful.

“You were taught to center, to block when you were a child, your brain remembers how to do it, it just needed to be reminded,” Tyrel says in a quiet voice. Michael jolts at the flash of a tiny curly haired version of him curled up in his father’s lap.

“So we don’t need to do this again?” Michael asks. “We’re done? We’re good?”

“You carry a lot of grief and a lot of anger,” his father comments from the doorway, they twist to see him standing there, Liz and Rosa are not standing behind him. “They said something about work?”

Max fumbles for his phone and swears at the time on it, “I was supposed to take them.”

“They said they’d come back, I told them we had other vehicles here that you could use if you needed to go back to town before they returned,” Rath turns from the door, “I made sandwiches.”

 

********************************

 

Tyrel takes his sandwich to go leaving Rath to eat with the children in the kitchen, and then moving the quiet trio back in the living room once they’re done.

“I could have broken through,” Michael says quietly, absently like he’s thinking out loud and not aware of what he’s saying.

“Please don’t do that,” Rath says, Michael glares at him and he wishes Zan were here, he was always better at soothing bad tempers. “Do you know how they’re finding us?” he asks.

Max looks over at him with a quizzical expression on his face.

“The Captain has records he took from his father and from a compatriot of his father, he’s been decoding them and sending teams to investigate the sites he finds. Tyrel and I, those of that are here were rescued from the fourth site they visited. They called it Aberline.”

“Jenna said she was working on a project with Alex,” Max says slowly.

“If Jenna is Ms. Cameron then she is, her and her team were the ones that liberated us from Aberline and shut the facility down.”

“He’s…” Michael starts and stops, he rubs his hands together.

“But they got there by way of the Captain when he was still mentally compromised by your bond being wide open,” Rath says. “Think how much faster he’ll be able to work with it smudged for the time.”

“He’s not just a chess piece for you to move around the board to wherever you see fit,” Michael snaps.

“No, by virtue of your bond with him he’s now family. But he’s family with a valuable skill set and very influential placement, we’re still missing people that should be here and he’s in the best position to locate them.”

“You mean our parents,” Isobel says.

“I mean specifically your father,” Rath states. He doesn’t verbalize his hopes that Vilandra didn’t make it off Antar, that she is probably long dead. Her children don’t need to hear that.

“Because your bound to him,” Max murmurs, “what does that make you to us? Our stepdad or something? Or is there another type of bonding that we don’t know about?”

“I don’t know what that word means,” Rath frowns. “I’m your bond-father, the three of you would have been raised together as siblings because minus blood, by bond that’s what you are.”

“So stepdad,” Isobel nods, Max opens his mouth likely to explain what exactly a ‘stepdad’ is then shuts his mouth and shakes his head instead.

“I meditate in the morning when it’s coolest,” Rath says instead of continuing the topic of conversation. “You are all welcome to join me if you so choose, or if you feel more comfortable you may continue to meet with Tyrel and let him lead the sessions.”

 

********************************


	8. Chapter 8

**Moving Forward 8/?**

 

They get the trucks back to base with no incident, Alex isn’t sure what he’d expected from his first foray back out in the field. But the excitement of finding the pods in the first place had been the most excitement to be had. They had a lazy sort of drive and all Alex really takes away from it is he doesn’t like long road trips and he really dislikes traveling by tractor trailer.

He leaves Jenna and the remains of their teams to help with unloading the trucks and getting pictures of all those still in pods and he goes to his office to lock the door and lay his head on his desk.

There are times where he swears he can feel Michael’s presence like a pressure in his head and he doesn’t know what he’s looking for, he doesn’t have the first idea of how to even _know_ what the bond between them is supposed to look like.

He should call him, wants to with every fiber of his being.

And he knows how that feels. That want is something he vividly remembers from eighteen and just out of basic training and staring in a mirror and not recognizing the person looking back at him.

Feeling the lowest he’d thought he could ever feel, all his fathers’ words telling him he was a failure and a freak and not a _real_ Manes man echoing in his ears.

And so alone that he thought the guilt of what had happened to Michael would crush him.

But he can’t call, not yet, maybe not ever at this rate.

He’s fairly sure he’s not strong enough to hear Michael’s voice on the phone and not want things he’s not in the position to have.

He should at least call _someone_ not Kyle and find out what’s going on in Roswell…

He calls Liz, he shouldn’t feel like a child getting ready to be scolded, he knows Liz is going to be angry at him for all but abandoning them… And she has that right, he’d be deserving of a return lecture of being a bad friend.

Of making decisions based on his heart instead of his head.

“Hello?” she asks tentatively when she finally answers the phone and he’s mostly talked himself into hanging up.

“Hi Liz,” he says softly.

“Alex?” her voice lights up, he’s not sure how he knows that.

“Hey,” he says and this feels like a redo of that first awkward conversation with Kyle where neither one of them knew what the hell to talk about.

“Are you okay?” she asks, and she sounds like she knows the answer already, but he still lies to her because he needs her to not worry about him.

“I’m good,” he says.

“Sure you are,” she snorts.

“I can’t talk about…”

“I will not mention Michael or Maria in conversation aside from telling you that they’re broke up and they both miss you… though likely in different ways,” she amends.

“Liz…”

“And I’m going to leave it at that, unless you want to talk about it,” she offers.

Alex stares at his computer screen, at his walls where others would have pictures of family and loved ones hanging aside the ones showcasing their military achievements.

In the box at home he has maybe two pictures of Michael, he has a lot more of Liz and Maria and Kyle. He’s not even sure which ones he would want to hang if he felt like he could.

“We weren’t even together,” he says quietly, “it shouldn’t feel like a betrayal.”

“You need hugs, and ice cream and about twenty-four hours of cheesy rom coms,” Liz decides, “when are you coming home?”

“In about five years, maybe nine since I’ll be so close to my twenty, might as well actually do it. I’ll get some vacation but…”

Liz is silent on the other end, for long enough that Alex wonders if she hung up on him. He’d deserve that he thinks.

“I thought you were done,” she says slowly, “I could have sworn we had a conversation where you said you were getting out.”

Alex runs a hand over his face, “yeah well, if I wanted to have a hand in demolishing the family legacy staying in was how I was going to get to do it.”

 

********************************

 

It’s normally Isobel and Michael that go out to the ranch for morning meditation, there’s something peaceful about it.

His father is normally quiet and he just answers the door when they tap lightly and leads them to the back sunroom where mats are already laid out and they sit and breathe, no one usually speaks until well after they’re done and on their first cup of coffee.

His father surprisingly enough is a caffeine addict. Michael hasn’t mentioned acetone once to him and has managed to get down to just a sip each day.

He has his first meeting with the therapist that Isobel found, and they go to her together for the first session which goes fine, but then he goes for an individual one and it’s not fine.

“We need one that knows about us,” he says after that one very frustrating session where he had to talk around the alien thing and he leaves the session fairly confident that his therapist thinks he’s more nuts then therapy is going to be able to fix.

Isobel breathes out, but doesn’t disagree. She also doesn’t seem to have any other suggestions which isn’t helpful.

“We need a therapist who knows we’re not exactly human,” he says on a random Tuesday when he goes out to the ranch by himself and taps on the door with no one standing beside him.

“The Major sent one out last week, I’ll make her put aside room for you,” Rath says.

“And Isobel,” Michael reminds him and Rath nods and holds the door open for Michael to enter.

“Of course.”

Michael stands there just inside the house; his father has moved into the kitchen and is out of sight. He could go right back out the door, he could leave and Rath wouldn’t blame him he doesn’t think. But it’s not often that he gets his father alone without Isobel or Max or Tyrel as a buffer.

He’s not good at this though. For as much as he longed for a family of his own when he was a kid… he’s not sure how to _have_ a family as an adult.

Rath has his back to him when he walks slowly into the kitchen. It’s the only reason he has the nerve to say anything.

“I’m not good at this having a family thing,” he mutters softly. “I’ve only ever needed Max and Isobel.”

He’s hopeful that maybe Rath won’t be able to hear him. He can tell he does by the way that his shoulders stiffen slightly.

“Trust me you can’t possibly screw this up more then I have,” Rath says as he turns. “You were a child when I saw you last, crying and begging me to let you stay, that you’d be good if I just let you stay.”

Michael can see it in his mind, that little curly haired boy, clinging to his father’s _this man’s_ hands as Rath tried to soothe him back into the pod, uttering reassurances that he’d be there when they woke, that there was nothing to be scared of. That it was just like sleeping.

He knows if he looks to the left he’ll see pods with the miniature versions of Max and Isobel already asleep and sealed into their pods.

“You were the one that put us in the pods,” he says quietly.

Rath runs a hand over his face, looking tired. “Vilandra and Kivar had already tried for the twins once, and I’d promised Zan and Mara that I would get the three of you to the pods myself and make sure you got off Antar. I took you to there, and the other two went in quietly enough, tears of course but they knew that it was the best thing. That we’d all be together again soon, but you…” he looks at him, “you were my little soldier, you didn’t understand why I wouldn’t let you stay and fight with me, with us until the end.”

Rath takes a step forward, reaches up and tugs on Michael’s curls. “I told you it was going to be okay, that the fight was almost over, I told you I loved you and that it was going to be okay even though I knew it was all going to hell, that there was a high probability that I would never see any of you again. I held you tight and as much as I hated it I compelled you to sleep,” Michael wraps a hand around Rath’s wrist and he thinks he’s going to push him away, but he doesn’t. He just holds on.

“I should have stayed on the ship with you all, I shouldn’t have trusted someone else to pilot such precious cargo, but I still needed to get Mara to her ship and Zan to ours and…”

“Our ship crashed,” Michael says stiffly, “Our ship crashed, and our pilot died and we woke up _alone_.”

“I’m sorry,” Rath says softly.

“I found mom and she _died_ , they fucking killed her because of what we are and…”

“I know,” Rath says, and he bows his head, “I know I felt it happen.”

Michael stops suddenly, freezes as the implications of the bond he hadn’t known about become clear, “If something happens to Alex will I feel that?”

“Now that you know that it’s there, now that you’ve accepted it… if he dies like your mother died you’ll feel like your heart is being ripped still beating from your chest,” Rath murmurs, “It will hurt like an agony that you will likely never feel again. I wanted to die when she died, and the only reason I didn’t is because I am still bound to Zan, Zan’s bond kept beating as Mara’s was snuffed out and it kept _me_ still breathing until I could breathe on my own.”

Michael breathes and tries to bury away the instinct to hide Alex away from any sort of danger to save himself from that kind of agony. Alex is always going to be the one running head first into a catastrophe, and Michael is always going to be the one trying to hold it together waiting for him to come back.

Rath pulls him into a hug and it’s awkward, like the man doesn’t have the first clue how to do it. “You suck at hugs,” he mutters even as he hugs back.

“Mara and Zan have much better ones, you definitely got the short end of the stick by only having me here,” Rath says in a thick voice, Michael thinks he might be crying but he doesn’t pull away to look or see.

“I’m an adult now, I’m not a crying little kid that needs a dad to make things all better.”

“How about one to just talk to? I can’t promise I’m any better at that, but we could maybe try?”

 

********************************

 

Michael spends a lot of time at the house, and regardless to what Isobel keeps saying… he’s not moving in with his dad or already moved in. He has a home, at some point he’ll be able to go back to the Airstream… he’s not sure when.

Hopefully soon.

But for now, even though he’s _not_ living there he fills empty spaces in Rath’s house, sleeps in the second bedroom that slowly gets filled with things that are his, clothes in the closet and cowboy hat on the dresser.

They very slowly figure out how to be a family when neither of them has the first clue what that word really means.

They have conversations and Rath tells him, tells _them_ , because Max and Isobel spend a lot of time there as well, about Antar. Some of those conversations spark memories of a childhood that he doesn’t remember and tries hard not to think too much about because they also continue to spark grief that he’s just barely touching on with the therapist that lives four houses down from Rath.

He remembers hugs from his mom and being scooped up in his dads’ arms and he remembers Zan cuddling him after a nightmare and then bringing him into the bed he shared with his dad.

He remembers playing with Max and Isobel, he doesn’t _ever_ remember Vilandra.

“She was jealous of the bond that I had with Zan,” Rath says as they sit in matching folding chairs in the backyard. It’s just turning to dusk, Michael has a beer, Rath has a glass of water.

“She didn’t have one with him?”

“No, she did,” Rath makes a face. “It’s just that the one Zan and I had came first… and for a lot of people that bond trumped the one she had with him. Made my opinion more important than hers which she very much didn’t like; it was a sticking point, they had many an argument over it."

“And mom wasn’t upset about that?” there have been flashes of memory that he was sure had all three of them in the same room, curled up on a couch or a chair with three kids scattered across laps.

“Your mother had a large heart, and she adored Zan, he adored her back, they just…” Rath’s mouth quirks. “They just didn’t _love_ each other, not the way it would have been easier to do.”

The tap at the front door comes as something of a surprise. Max is upstairs using Michael’s shower and Isobel is locked up in Rath’s office doing something ‘work’ related that he’s sure is really just her playing a computer game without anyone knowing.

Rath goes to the front door and Michael follows because he’s nosy like that.

Cameron is standing there at the door with a backpack slung over her shoulder.

“Ms. Cameron,” Rath says and holds the door open as she comes in. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

Jenna glances over at where Michael is hanging out in the doorway, then back at Rath. “It’s uncanny,” she mutters.

“Jenna?” Max says as he comes clattering down the stairs. Isobel peaks her head out of Rath’s office like she’s not sure she actually wants to come out and get involved.

“I have some stuff I need you to look at,” she says finally as they stand there in silence all staring at each other. “The Major was going to e-mail the file but Alex and I thought this might be the better and _faster_ way to get things done.”

Michael starts at the sound of Alex’s name, but the other man doesn’t appear in the doorway and he frowns as Rath raises an eyebrow in Jenna’s direction and she sighs, then slides her bag off her shoulder so she can dig around in the front pocket for a tablet.

She hands it over to Rath and Michael comes over to hover at his dads’ shoulder, Isobel comes further into the room and Max just looks on in confusion.

He’s at his shoulder so he can feel Rath startle when the first picture loads.

“You found pods,” he breathes and Jenna nods in confirmation.

“56 pods with occupants still inside, 40 empty ones, the math doesn’t add up so Alex has basically barricaded himself with his computer to find the other storage locations.”

Rath flips through the pictures, finger sliding across the screen again and again. Michael can all but feel the hope radiating off him and the air in the room feels stiff, like the entire _room_ is holding its breath.

He’s flipping so fast through the pictures that Michael isn’t sure what number they’re on but he knows that Rath has found him by the way he just drops, like invisible strings have been holding him up and every single one of them has been cut.

Michael touches his shoulder and leans forward to see for himself, he’s had memories of Zan reappear since he started therapy and they started talking.

So he _knows_ that Zan looks like Max, same jawline, nose and there he is. Eyes closed, face smooth of lines, clean shaven, close cropped hair. He _knows_ it’s not Max in that picture but he still looks up to make sure Max is still standing there by Jenna, arm wrapped around Isobel’s shoulders.

“Picture 41?” Jenna asks and Rath doesn’t make a sound, can’t seem to look away from the tablet so Michael jerks his head.

Jenna pulls her phone out of her back pocket and rapidly texts something.

“They’re still in stasis?” Rath asks, he still hasn’t dragged his eyes away from the tablet.

“Yeah, we haven’t been able to find any real records on how they were opening them up and Alex and the Major didn’t want to take any chances. None of them seem to be in distress at the moment so we have time to do it right,” Jenna says and Rath nods.

“I want to be there when they open it,” he says, finally looking at Jenna and coming slowly back to his feet. “And the children need to be there as well.”

“Children?” Jenna asks and Rath looks around the room, at Michael right beside him, at Max and Isobel standing there holding onto each other. Jenna laughs lightly. “I’ll let you and the Major hammer out the details, the tablet is yours. We took pictures of everyone so if there are others that should be on the top of the priority list you’ll have to let the Major know.”

“Thank you for your assistance Ms. Cameron,” Rath says, he inclines his head slightly at her and she nods at him, then heads back towards the front door Max pressing a kiss to Isobel’s temple and then following her.

“They found our… dad?” Isobel asks tentatively, Rath holds the tablet out towards her, she doesn’t take it, just moves to the other side of him and looks down at the picture. Rath presses the tablet towards her, and when she takes it he slides one arm over her shoulder, the other over Michael’s and tugs them close.

He’s not a demonstrative man, Michael has come to realize this in the two months they’ve known him. But he’s remembered enough that he knows he _was_. That his dad would always be the one to sweep him up in a hug and read to him in bed.

He’s not sure if it’s because they’re adults instead of kids now, that Rath doesn’t know how to react to them any longer, that he doesn’t know which actions are still acceptable for his kids that are now only a mere ten years younger than he is.

 

********************************


	9. Chapter 9

**Moving Forward 9/?**

 

Alex is subsisting on Red Bull and the awful sandwiches from the vending machine and he’s at the point of exhaustion where he thinks if he did have the opportunity to sleep, he wouldn’t be able to turn his brain off to actually _do_ it.

There are just not enough hours in the day to try and find the other storage locations before someone gets wise to the fact that they found the one in New York and moves any remaining pods to somewhere they’re not going to have any documentation for.

And he’s also trying to lend a hand to figure out how to actually open the pods without just breaking into them.

It’s frustrating, because if his dad, who basically thought a rock and chisel were high tech could figure it out then they should already have them open and have 56 more Antarians wandering around getting in the way.

They don’t though, and Alex thinks they’re missing something really fucking basic.

“We’re missing something,” he says. They’ve got an empty pod they’ve been playing with, he doesn’t want to screw up with a pod with a real live alien in it.

“What is it though?” Dr. Graham _call me Ben_ asks, he’s leaning back in the chair right next to him, staring at the ceiling like that is going to offer the clues they’re missing.

“My dad was a technophobe,” Alex says, he leans forward and stares hard at the control panel, brushes his thumb over the key pad then sighs. “I think we’re putting too much thought into this.”

“So you’re saying we should call one of the soldier boys back in and have them grunt at it?” Ben says sarcastically.

Alex raises an eyebrow at him and then looks down at his uniform, Ben winces and looks apologetic.

“It’s a great idea, but we tried it already, remember?” Ben reminds him, like he might have spontaneously developed amnesia in the last twenty-four hours.

“My _dad_ could figure this out,” Alex mutters. He scrubs his hands over his face and then just stops, stares hard at the control panel.

He doesn’t think they’ve tried this yet, he’s not sure why other then it’s so fucking easy and this is alien technology… it’s supposed to be beyond their tiny little human brains.

“It’s a serial number,” he says, more to himself then Ben. “It can’t be that fucking easy.”

“Are you having a stroke?” Ben asks, he’s not sure what his face looks like, but it must be bad for Ben to look _that_ concerned. Though it might also be because the Major hasn’t penciled in any time for any of them to have a day off or a major medical emergency.

The pods all have numbers on them, a string of twelve digits that’s printed on the bottom of each control panel. They’re all different, Alex had figured they were some form of a serial number, but…

He presses the numbers in one at a time, Ben doesn’t stop him which means that it isn’t something they’ve tried, if anything he sits straighter in his chair in anticipation. Alex finishes entering the numbers, slowly so he doesn’t have to wait for the display to clear and start over and then double checks that the numbers match and presses the big large blue button that they think is an enter key.

The display clears, nothing happens except for Alex sighing because of _course_ it’s not that easy, it’s _alien_ tech. Next to him Ben slumps in his chair.

“Do you hear that?” Ben asks suddenly, he sits up straight, eyes flitting around the room and Alex is about to ask if _he’s_ having a stroke.

And that’s when Alex notices what sounds like the faint hissing of air. When he looks at the pod there’s the tiniest hint of cloudiness, then the glass front slowly melts away, as does the remainder of the top of the pod.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Ben mutters, “we’ve been looking at those numbers for like four days, they’re supposed to be serial numbers.”

“They probably are,” Alex says as he reaches for his cellphone to send the text to the Major that they’ve figured out how to open the pods without resorting to prying them open and hoping for the best. “But it’s probably also akin to writing your password down on a sticky note and taping it to your monitor.”

“I don’t do that,” Ben says defensively; Alex raises an eyebrow at him, “well not _anymore_ , at least not since you lectured me on computer security and a bunch of other stuff that honestly I just tuned out.”

 

********************************

 

Rath has a session on Tuesday afternoons to talk with the lovely young woman about his feelings and how his life is going.

“I feel like Zan is going to be angry with me,” he says on the Tuesday afternoon where the Major has called personally to tell him that they’ve figured out how to open the pods and that he is sending transport to take him and the children back to the base where they’re running their operations out of.

“Why?” she asks, she’s got a blank pad of paper laid across her lap, she never writes anything on it. He’s not sure if he’s just not saying anything interesting enough for taking notes, or if it’s to have something to hold onto.

“Because I wasn’t fast enough to save Mara, because the children are grown and we’ve missed all the important milestones.”

First day of school, first crush, first kiss, they’ve missed _all_ the firsts and it’s devastating.

“Did you have control over when you came out of stasis?” she asks and he shakes his head. Because she knows they didn’t, they were brought out of stasis when more test subjects were needed.

They just never got moved to facilities that were actually actively testing them.

“No, but I still should have…”

“You can’t change the past,” she says. “But you can move forward, you said you’ve been spending time with your children.”

Rath smiles, a brief one. He likes having Michael at the house, and with Michael there Max and Isobel have become constant fixtures as well. Liz is there often as well, with Rosa tagging along at times while she and Isobel try and talk and figure out what they are to each other.

“Michael stays most nights,” Rath says, it’s become comforting to know that when he climbs out of bed because he can’t sleep that Michael will periodically come down and sit with him. Usually Rath will talk about Antar, about Zan and Mara and their time together.

“I just wish I could give him more than just _memories_ of his mother, it feels like too little, I should have been able to give him her.”

 

********************************

 

Michael has no clue what to pack, what’s the proper attire for meeting your kind of stepfather?

What’s the proper attire for _maybe_ seeing Alex in person for the first time in over a year?

What outfit says please come home without him having to say the words?

His therapist says he needs to talk to Alex about his feelings. That they need to talk about what they want from each other and figure out if there is a way for them to get there together.

His therapist doesn’t know about Maria. He should probably tell her, but he thinks if he tells her about Maria she won’t be on his side anymore. If he tells her about the months spent clinging to Maria because he lost Alex, he couldn’t lose her too… he needs the doctor that is now privy to the majority of his secrets to be on his side.

He went ten years without seeing Alex, it shouldn’t be this hard to figure out what jeans and shirt to pack so he doesn’t look like he just rolled out of bed. Though Alex had liked the way he looked, maybe it doesn’t matter.

“You haven’t packed yet?” Isobel asks, she sounds frustrated with him and he gets it, he’s slowing them all down. But Rath isn’t even back from therapy yet and he’ll still need to go into the bathroom and cry for ten minutes like he does every Tuesday when he gets back so Michael has got time.

They probably shouldn’t be doing this today, they should have waited until Wednesday when none of them have therapy, and everyone has their proper armor on.

“Just choose a pair of jeans with no holes in them,” Isobel says, like she can tell that Michael is contemplating just wearing what he’s currently got on. “And a shirt that isn’t missing any buttons.”

“He’s not going to care what we’re wearing,” Michael says. And he’s not talking about Alex, Alex is probably going to do everything in his power to not actually be anywhere near where they’ll be opening the pods up.

“You’re not embarrassing me in front of our father,” Isobel says, she’s wearing a very pretty pale pink sun dress with a cream knitted shrug over it. Her hair is pulled up in a bun that looks haphazard, but Michael knows took her at least twenty minutes to make look that way.

“He’s probably not even going to acknowledge us,” Michael mutters, he runs a hand through his hair and just chooses a shirt, there’s already a pair of jeans with no holes in them in his bag. And he’s also wearing a pair that only has the one hole, but they were bought that way from the store, so Isobel can’t complain about them.

“Still, we want to put our best face forward,” Isobel says, she looks slightly manic so Michael drops the shirt in his duffel bag and pulls her into a hug. It takes her a minute but she relaxes into it, clings to him like he’s clinging to her.

“I want him to like us,” she mumbles against his shoulder. “And we’re not cute kids anymore so…”

“No, now we’re cute adults and responsible enough that no one needs to chase around to make sure we’re not getting up to any mischief.”

“I would never.”

Michael presses a kiss to the side of her head and smiles down at her, “you were right there with us, anytime we ran amuck.”

“Well yes, because you’re my brothers and someone needed to keep you two out of trouble, if she caught us…” Isobel always sounds troubled when she remembers something about Vilandra, she hasn’t shared any of those actual memories with Michael, just vague statements that allude to the fact that Michael lucked out in the mom department that one time.

And Max’s only comment on Vilandra has been ‘she wasn’t very kind’, which says a lot without saying anything at all.

 

********************************

 

When they turn into a side gate at the military base, there’s a moment where Michael panics. It’s only Isobel’s hand clenched tightly around his that keeps him from losing his new found, hard fought for control over his powers.

The driver that picked them up at the house has been largely silent on the 30-minute drive, just making small talk with Rath about the weather and the size of the vehicle and then driving in silence when they’d exhausted those topics.

He rolls down the window and hands over a paper and a badge and the guard barely glances into their vehicle, just murmurs something quiet, their driver laughs and then they’re waved on.

He can’t believe Alex is this close, can’t believe he’s _missed_ him being this close and its only after they pull into a hangar where there’s a small private plane sitting that he realizes that Alex is _not_ still in Roswell.

He’s definitely someplace else, two airmen open their door, ushering them quickly from the car to the steps leading into the plane and Michael twists to get his luggage and realizes that there are another two removing their bags from the trunk and following along behind them.

That’s when he notices the older gentleman standing at the door of the plane.

“Major,” Rath says with a nod.

“General,” he steps back to allow them to ascend the steps into the plane and Michael has never been on a plane private or commercial. He can’t think something this small is safe to be in the air.

“Captain Manes and Doctor Graham have already had the pods you indicated pulled forward, we’ll open those and then have you review with them if there’s an order you’d like to open the others.”

Michael is staring at the Major, waiting to see if any other tidbits about Alex will drop but the man just waves them to seats and an airman wearing a blue uniform with one bar on his collar shows them how to fasten their seatbelts. Michael could certainly use a drink but they’re not offered anything.

“Are we all set Major?” he asks instead.

“We’re all on board,” the Major says, glancing at Rath for his affirmative nod. “Let’s get moving,” and young man disappears into what is likely the cockpit, closing the door behind him. “It’s about a three-hour flight, they’ll let us know when we’re good to move around and I’ll show you where the beverages and snacks are.”

 

********************************

 

Alex knows that Rath is bringing Michael, Max and Isobel with him, it was on the briefing that the Major had sent him and he’s had a couple of days, he should be prepared… he’s really _not_ prepared.

To actually _see_ Michael in person, a real flesh and blood body standing next to his father, looking healthy, happy, relaxed. He knows from brief conversations with Liz that both Michael and Isobel have been in therapy for about two months, he looks like he’s got a good therapist and it’s actually working for him.

“So that’s them, hmm?” Ben says.

They’re still on the other side of the glass, they can see them but the Major, Rath, Michael and the others can’t see them or the room at all. It’s a safety measure for a building that’s not wholly as secure as they need or want it to be. People, regular, normal people walk past where they’re standing and have no clue that on the other side is alien tech and actual aliens.

“That’s them,” Alex says quietly.

The Major must finish whatever he was discussing with them and he turns to the door area, scanning his badge. Alex can see visitor badges clipped to collars and the side of Isobel’s sweater, he straightens as they walk in, coming to attention. Ben and the rest of Alex’s new team doing the same around the room.

“At ease,” the Major says as they walk over, Alex keeps his eyes focused on the Major and tries to ignore the way Michael is staring at him and not even bothering to pretend he’s not. “Are we ready Captain?”

“Yes sir,” Alex nods and steps back to signal Talbot to start moving the pods forward and when the first one, the one that Alex knows now contains Zan is pushed front and center Rath moves forward. He touches the glass with trembling fingers.

Alex waits by the control panel, Ben on his other side in case Zan requires medical assistance upon waking.

“Ready?” he asks softly and Rath just nods once lifts his hand away from the glass and links them together in front of him.

Alex takes his time punching the code in, 12 digits, blue button and they wait. Michael steps up next to his father, Isobel on Rath’s other side, Max right next to her.

There’s the faint hissing of air and the hazy cloud in the container, and then the glass melts away, the remainder of the top folding into pockets on the side of the pods making it a very elaborate bed of sorts.

Rath waits for a moment then leans forward, draws fingers down the side of Zan’s face. It’s a barely there and you’d miss it moment of a light exhale from Zan, then a rapid movement of his eyelids before his eyes actually open a crack.

 

********************************

 

He’s been in stasis before, he knows what it feels like. Knows that his entire body is fighting to wake and to continue sleeping all at the same time.

He breathes, shallow breaths as he allows his mind to reach out. The bond with Rath is healthy and strong which means Rath is healthy and strong. He basks in it, basks in the love that Rath feels for him and he feels for Rath and lets it settle back into his bones and blood as it should be.

It’s almost second nature to reach for the bond with Vilandra, he couldn’t break it, not even with her betrayal. She’s the mother of his children.

She’s the betrayer of everything that he’s ever held dear.

The bond is tattered and worn, but not broken… which means despite everything she still lives. He’s not sure how he feels about that.

He’s seething mad and horribly heartbroken all at the same time.

As his mind settles, he can feel fingers pressing to the side of his face and it takes him way too many long moments to open his eyes.

He recognizes that touch and when he finally manages to convince his eyes to open enough to just take a peek, to survey the surroundings and figure out where they are and what’s happening; the first thing he sees is Rath’s beloved face. There are tears in his eyes which is not right, and he lifts a hand to wipe them away but Rath captures the hand in his own, links their fingers together and presses his lips to the back of his hand.

It takes him several tries, but he finally manages to get a raspy, “how long?” out. He doesn’t recognize his own voice and Rath doesn’t say anything, just helps Zan out of the stasis pod so he can lean against the side on shaky legs.

That’s when he notices the children.

His _grown_ children. Rath the eighteenth, Zan the twenty-fourth, Vilandra the nineteenth.

Standing there together in a huddled mass all with matching expressions on their faces that say they expect him to repudiate them.

He knows that’s who they are, even as his brain is rebelling on the fact that he’s missed his children’s entire childhood and they’re now all adults.

All _bound_ adults at that, he leans into Rath’s side, is gratified to feel his arm go around him, at least _this_ hasn’t changed. The warmth that seeps into his skin when Rath touches him.

He holds out his hand and it’s Vilandra who stumbles forward first, her brothers following along behind her as always.

He touches his hand to her cheek, touches each of the boys in turn and presses kisses to their foreheads even as they try to press closer and closer to them.

It was easier when they were children and they were small enough that he could gather all three of them up in his arms and cuddle them together, let them sprawl across his lap, spilling out into Rath’s and Mara’s as they had story time or vid time.

He can still hold them all together, though he thinks if they try to sprawl across his lap at their current size that he might need a healer to repair damaged bones.

 

********************************


	10. Chapter 10

**Moving Forward 10/?**

 

“Michael, Max and Isobel,” Rath says as he introduces the children with their new names. Zan looks exhausted and the doctor is touching him way more then Rath feels comfortable with. They’ve been moved to a separate room, away from the prying eyes of the military men working diligently to open the rest of the pods that Rath had requested be processed first.

There’s several healers in that group, two of his lieutenants. He should be out there, making sure everything is going smoothly.

But he also needs to be here, sitting next to Zan on this bed, and he needs Zan to have a chance to meditate and find center before they deal with their newly reawakened people.

“Maybe it’s for the best,” Zan says absently, his head is resting on Rath’s shoulder. “To let the past be the past.”

“Rath the eighteenth,” Michael mutters and he keeps glancing at the closed door that separates him from Alex.

Rath presses his lips to the spot behind Zan’s ear that makes him shiver, mostly to see if he still does, but also because any sort of physical contact that shows what they are to each other makes Max flush and Isobel smile sweetly and Michael smirk.

“It’s traditional,” Zan says, “for the first born to carry the names of their predecessors.”

“So healthy enough,” the doctor says, he’s got a clipboard in front of him. “I’m concerned about…”

“It’s stasis shock,” Rath says, “It will take a few hours for his body to regain its equilibrium.”

The doctor looks at him like he’d maybe like to argue but isn’t sure if it’s worth it.

“I’d recommend some rest, if you notice anything odd…”

“We’ll let you know,” Rath says, now that the doctor is done he wants him gone, so he can have what remains of his family alone in this room with him.

“I guess I’ll go see how far Alex and his boys have made it, do you want me to send someone back when we have everyone awake and on two feet?”

“Yes please,” Zan says, his voice is congenial as it always is when he’s trying to soften the rough edges that are an intrinsic part of Rath, Rath doesn’t really care what this doctor thinks of him.

 

********************************

 

Alex is not afraid to admit to himself that he is hiding in his office. But only to himself.

“You’re hiding,” Ben comments from the door.

“I’m really not,” Alex says, though he knows from the expression on Ben’s face that he doesn’t believe him. Ben ambles into his office, dropping down into the one chair in the corner. Alex doesn’t have visitors, he really doesn’t need places for people to sit.

“Everyone’s awake and moving around, clean bills of health all around for the most part; when are you and the boys planning on heading out?”

Alex checks his phone, because there’s been a steady string of texts as the guys get the vehicles ready and submit requests for the armory. Alex has passed his firearms requalification, so he gets to carry a gun this time which makes him feel at least 50% better about being in the field.

“Probably a couple of hours, Jenna and her team will be at the first site in about 90 minutes, so I told the guys to not rush just in case we need to offer an assist.”

“We need more bodies,” Ben sighs. “Having only two teams out there at any given time is going to bite us in the ass if they manage to pull their act together faster then we’re moving.”

“You feel free to share that assessment with the Major,” Alex smirks.

“I’ll pass, thanks,” Ben blanches, they sit there for a minute and when Alex thinks he’s just going to have to start working to give Ben the hint to move on the other man stands and stretches. “I’m going to go pass out in my office while nobody needs me for anything important.”

Ben leaves and Alex waits for a second to see if he’s going to come back and then turns his attention back to his computer and the live feed that’s showing the location they’ll be heading to provided Jenna doesn’t find pods at hers.

It’s been quiet, no movement at all and he’s hoping it’ll stay that way long enough for them to get there.

“You have a thing for doctors or something?” he hears from the door and he freezes, takes a second to take a few even breaths to brace himself before hits the keys on his keyboard to send his computer to a lock screen and looks up.

He hadn’t allowed himself to really _look_ in the hangar, keeping his eyes mostly on Rath and Zan and trying to ignore the way that every fiber of his being was waving flags at Michael and demanding his attention.

“Guerin,” he says slowly, “what are you doing here?”

“Dad drew me a map,” Michael says, and Alex would think he was joking, but he holds up a piece of paper that has a rudimentary map drawn showing the location of Alex’s office in what’s he’s assuming was in relation to the Major’s office.

He knew he would end up ruing the day when Rath was told or shown where his office was.

Michael shuts the door behind him as he comes in and the click of the door closing, and the lock being clicked into place sounds loud in the quiet office.

He’s got a cellphone, he could call for help. He leaves it sitting where it is and just watches as Michael drags the chair that Ben had been sitting in across the floor, putting it down right in front of his desk.

Then he does the same thing that Rath did when he came into the office. He wanders over to examine the pictures on the wall.

Nothing’s changed, they’re still all military photos, Alex hasn’t decided if he wants to put up personal photos or not.

He’s leaning towards no, less questions to answer.

When he’s done he sits down in the chair he’s resituated, slouching in it and staring across the expanse of Alex’s desk at him.

He looks good and healthy; not happy though and he hadn’t thought there was any more of his heart that Michael Guerin could break.

He’s _supposed_ to be happy, he’s supposed to be with Maria and happy, and planning for whatever their future was going to hold.

Alex left so he didn’t have to watch it happen.

His therapist tells him he’s strong, but he certainly doesn’t _feel_ strong enough to watch the man he loves build a home and a family with someone he thought was a friend.

“What are you doing here?” Alex asks, he’s come a long way, his voice doesn’t even break.

“My therapist says we need to talk,” Michael says evenly.

“What could we possibly have to talk about?”

“Us.”

Alex laughs, he can’t help himself and he hates that he sounds broken and bitter, hates that it hurts still. Maybe the smudging Rath did has worn off, maybe he can somehow drag him away from Zan and have him do it again.

Or maybe that’s why Michael is here, to break the bond so he can move on.

“There isn’t an us,” Alex says softly, he looks away, looks down at where his hands are laying palm down on his desk. Looks at anything not Michael.

Michael is silent, except for the sound of his breathing and there’s the tiniest nudge of _something_ in his head. He knows he’s felt it before, feels it sometimes in the morning when he’s getting ready for work and it’s quiet.

Alex looks at him and Michael looks back, eyes bright and focused directly on him.

“I didn’t know,” Michael says, “I didn’t even know that was a thing that we could do.”

“Your dad said he could show you how to break it,” Alex says, he’s been waiting for that since Rath told him it was a thing that could be done. Has been waiting to see if he would even notice the difference.

“My therapist, she says I need to be honest about what I want,” Michael says, “and I don’t want that, I don’t…” he presses a hand to his chest and it’s a hand that should be damaged.

It’s not, and he’d ask but he’s not sure that’s his place. Michael is looking at him like it is though.

“You’re supposed to be happy,” Alex says. “You went to Maria and you’re supposed to be happy.”

“You said you wanted to be friends,” Michael says, it sounds like an accusation and a rebuttal.

“Well yeah, because we don’t really know each other, and I thought we could maybe talk and spend time together that wasn’t just us falling in and out of bed,” he hates that he sounds so defensive. “I wanted to see if we could have more than just the sex.”

Michael blinks at him.

“I wanted to know you,” he mutters. “I told you that.”

“And then you ran away.”

“You had just shown me that you were building a spaceship, I needed a few minutes to process the fact that I just told you I loved you and you’d been trying to figure out a way to leave the fucking planet,” he hisses.

“Everything I care about is here,” Michael says slowly. “That includes you. If I take a two-minute jaunt to space and back again just to see if I can fucking do it there was never any intention to go anywhere that I couldn’t take everyone with me.”

“Besides I have my dad now and I guess a step dad, or whatever Zan is to my dad and I’m guessing it _actually_ makes Max and Isobel my siblings? Step siblings?” Michael shrugs.

Alex breathes and covers his face with his hands.

He doesn’t really have time to deal with this. At any time, he’s going to get a call from Jenna and it will be to either join her at her warehouse because they found pods or have him and his team moving to the second one to see if they have more luck.

He doesn’t even hear Michael move, he’s breathing and focusing only on that. He forces himself to not jump when he feels Michael’s hand on his shoulder he just breathes out a long breath and then lowers his hands to the sides of his chair and watches as Michael goes to his knees next to him.

He wants to bury his hands in those curls, wants to tilt their foreheads together and just be.

He’s fairly sure that’s not a right he has.

“I can have my dad show me how to break it if you want,” Michael offers and Alex is shaking his head no before he even has half the words out.

“Then can we at least talk? I don’t…” Michael shakes his head. “Liz said you’re in for longer now, which I don’t get, I thought you came back to Roswell because you were done. And I don’t want to not be able to talk to you, if we’re going to be friends…”

Alex laughs, he thinks it only sounds the tiniest bit hysterical, “I think we both know that we’re never going to be able to be just friends.”

“See that’s what I’m talking about. But Isobel says I can clean up nice when I make the effort and I can take you out and then take you home,” Michael leers at him and Alex reaches out to touch the side of his face with fingers that he’s embarrassed are trembling.

Waiting for Michael to say no, to back away.

He doesn’t, just leans into Alex’s hand and smiles at him.

“You must have a good therapist,” he says and Michael shrugs.

“She’s good, I told her about you and she said I had to talk to you and be honest about what I wanted and that you would hopefully be honest with me in return,” Michael covers Alex’s hand with his own, pressing his hand to the side of his face and just looks at him.

 

********************************

 

When they move them to a small suite Rath manages to convince Zan to take a shower by undressing him himself and then climbing in it with him.

Zan would argue but he can’t stop shaking and the heat of the shower and Rath’s body near his does nothing to make it cease.

Rath just dries him off and bundles him into sleep clothes and then blankets, he does all this while dropping intermittent kisses on his shoulder, his neck, his arms, his hands.

When he bundles him into the bed Zan thinks there’s a strong likelihood that he’s just going to sit there and watch over him which is unacceptable.

His children are safe, Michael has gone off to try and talk with his Captain (which Rath assures him is a good thing) and he can hear Isobel and Max arguing quietly in the sitting room over which program they’re watching.

Zan must make a pitiful enough picture that Rath climbs in behind him, holding him in strong arms and laying his lips against the back of his neck.

It still doesn’t quell the trembling and in his mind he knows it’s stasis shock, he’s read all the reports, he _knows_ what it is.

“We’ve done stasis before,” he mutters and he knows he sounds petulant, Rath’s hands stroke down his arms.

“Never for this length of time, it was always a couple days, a week, I think a month was the longest I’d ever been subjected to stasis prior,” Rath says, the press of lips and the heat of Rath’s mouth against the back of his neck has him trembling for reasons other than stasis shock.

It takes him a moment, but he manages to twist in the confines of the blanket, so he can face Rath.

There’s something undefinable in his eyes, just the barest hint of despair and he works a hand free so he can touch him.

“Tell me,” he says softly, he brushes his thumb across Rath’s nose, ghosts it along the outline of his lips.

“Mara is dead,” Rath whispers brokenly, and he’d expected it, if Mara was alive she’d be here that she’s not… for all that he didn’t _love_ Mara, not the way that Rath did, he did love her.

He loved her because she gave them Rath the eighteenth, he loved her because she loved Rath.

Zan draws him close, arms wrapping tightly around him as Rath sobs out his grief against his neck. He rocks him like he would have one of their children after a nightmare, humming some soft tune that he remembers from their childhood.

They lay like that until Rath’s tears taper off and he’s silent. When he lifts his head to meet Zan’s eyes his face is wet and his eyes are sad and yet he’s still the most beautiful thing that Zan’s ever seen.

He twines a hand into Rath’s hair and tugs him in for a kiss.

It’s sweetly chaste, reminiscent of their first kiss at fifteen when neither of them had the first clue what they were doing. Just lips pressed together and Zan’s despair at the thought of losing Rath beating at his mind and Rath’s despair at being left behind as Zan moved forward without him forming a reciprocal loop between them.

The bond had flared into being between one press of their lips to the next and that bond was what allowed Rath to be sent away and Zan to stop fighting it because all either one of them had wanted was proof they would be allowed to be together.

Only they could break the bond and neither of them had any intention of doing so.

Not at fifteen with a King and a Queen and General staring down at them demanding they do so, telling them that they were too young to know what they wanted… and certainly not now when they’re finally together again.

Zan’s lips part on a sigh and he wants nothing more then to strip them bare, to feel the warm press of Rath’s skin to his and know that whatever else… they’re together.

They’re together and they’re safe and their children are safe. And he ignores the bond with Vilandra which is still there, still tattered and worn.

She lives, and that means that she and Kivar might still be searching for them.

“I love you more than the moon and the stars,” Rath murmurs against his lips, and Zan smiles at him.

“I love you more than the sky and the sea,” Zan says softly. Zan presses his lips against Rath’s once more, because he’s there and he can.

 

 

********************************


	11. Chapter 11

**Moving Forward 11/?**

 

Michael has Alex’s number both programmed into his phone _and_ written on a piece of paper, he’d also made Alex actually dial the number from Michael’s phone. He’s not afraid Alex would have purposely given him the wrong number…

But he’s actually afraid he would.

But Alex had just punched the new number into Michael’s phone, updating his contact information without Michael having to say anything, all the while rolling his eyes. He’d still held his breath and waited until Alex’s phone had vibrated before relaxing.

Alex had said they could talk.

Alex had said he didn’t want to break the bond which meant that he was amenable to them figuring out a way for them to be together.

Eventually.

He still hadn’t let Michael kiss him or hug him or touch him any more then the press of a hand to his face. He had looked regretful when he’d had to kick him out of his office when men in military uniforms started showing up at his door knocking impatiently and his phone started vibrating with incoming texts.

He’d gone ten years without touching Alex, he should be used to it, but he isn’t. It’s like Alex is a drug that he hasn’t ever managed to kick.

And if he’s being truthful with himself Michael is kind of okay with that now.

So he leaves Alex’s office with promises of being able to talk to him ringing in his ears while he navigates the hallways to get back to the suite they’d tucked them into. When he gets there, he taps lightly at the door because he hadn’t thought to wait around and get a key before he went to find Alex, it takes a minute for Isobel to open it up.

She looks tired, but Michael knows better than to comment on it.

“I thought you’d stay with Alex if he didn’t kick you to the curb,” she says as she shuts and locks the door behind him.

“He went back to work, but he gave me a phone number,” he says waving his phone at her and Isobel laughs at him. “I’m really tempted to text Valenti and tell him to suck it.”

“I know it’s hard, but can you _try_ to be an adult,” Isobel sighs and Michael wrinkles his nose at her, because where’s the fun in that?

The living room is empty save for Isobel and now Michael, he knows that he’s sharing a room with Max, he figures Isobel has her own and probably his dad and Zan are behind one of the closed doors.

“Where is everyone?” he asks as he flops back on the couch.

“Our dads are sleeping, Max is talking to Liz in your room.”

He frowns, so no sleep until Max is done, he really doesn’t want Max and Liz cooing at each other to be what he falls asleep to.

“So how did it go?” Isobel asks, she’s smiling at him but her eyes are sad. She and Rosa still can’t have a conversation that lasts more then ten minutes and Michael is at a loss as to how to help her. Rosa looks at her when she knows Isobel isn’t looking and he thinks she still cares about Isobel.

Michael thinks she can’t get past the fact that the last thing she saw before Max resurrected her was Isobel killing two girls and then her. Even if it hadn’t been Isobel.

He hasn’t figured out a way to ask Liz to make sure Rosa talks to someone. He would never have thought that he would _ever_ be pro-therapy.

“I told him we could break the bond,” they were the hardest words to get out because he doesn’t _want_ that.

Not at all.

He wants to tie Alex to him in every way possible. Wants to make it impossible for Alex to be able to walk away.

But his therapist says he needs to make sure that Alex knows that breaking the bond is an option, whether Michael likes it or not.

“And?” Isobel looks like she wants to shake him.

“He said no, he said we could talk, that we could figure things out,” Michael grins at her and Isobel grins back. Relief written all over her face.

He knows she’s thinking that if Alex can figure out a way past Michael living with and sleeping with Maria for ten months then maybe her and Rosa can figure out things as well.

A door opens quietly and both he and Isobel turn toward it, it hasn’t been that long but Zan looks 100% better then he had when Michael had gone to try and talk to Alex.

He smiles easily at the both of them and Michael has vivid memories of curling up in the mans lap with Max and Isobel.

Zan had been a King, but he’d also been their father.

 

********************************

 

Rath is asleep, curled onto his side, hand reaching out in his sleep as if he knows he’s not touching Zan.

Zan is no longer tired, and thankfully the worse of the stasis sickness has passed. He thinks if he stays any longer in the bed that his fidgeting is going to cause Rath to wake.

Which he doesn’t want.

So he eases out of the bed, tugging the blanket up around Rath’s shoulders so he doesn’t get cold and goes into the main room.

Michael has returned and the expression on his face is something else, Isobel is curled up next to him and they both look at him when he comes out of the bedroom.

“You look happy,” he observes and Michael grins at him.

“Alex gave him his number,” Isobel says with a smile, she touches her brothers arm, “and now I’m trying to convince him that texting Kyle to tell him to suck it is not an appropriate response.”

“I’m given to assume that Alex is your bondmate?” Zan asks as he sits on the other end of the couch.

“Yeah, we’re…” Michael makes a face, like he’s at a loss to explain his relationship with his Alex.

“They’ve had a rough time of it lately,” Isobel finally rescues her brother. “And they’re going to try and talk and figure out things that don’t include breaking the bond… which I’ve been told neither of them want.”

“I asked and he said no,” Michael says, he sounds defensive and Isobel runs her hand down his arm and murmurs something that Zan can’t hear.

“I’d like to meet the young man,” Zan says.

“He was the one that opened your pod up,” Michael says, “though you were pretty out of it, you probably don’t remember him.”

Zan casts back and he really only remembers Rath and the children, but there had been the doctor that had checked him over and another young man in what he’s learned are this planets military uniform.

“Dark hair, sad face?” he asks quietly.

“Wait a minute, I’ve got a…” Michael touches his phone and does a bunch of things on the screen and then there’s a picture there, he hands it over to him and the young man that Zan remembers is the one on the screen. He’s young and he doesn’t look to be aware that Michael has taken the picture.

“How long have you been bonded?” Zan asks when he hands the phone back over. Michael looks slightly embarrassed and Isobel is grinning.

“We didn’t know about the bond stuff until just recently,” Michael mutters. “We were seventeen, I know it’s too young…” he says defensively, voice tapering off as he runs a hand over his face.

“Your father and I were fifteen when we bonded,” he says. He can’t possibly tell Michael that he and his Alex were too young to bond if fifteen had been acceptable for them.

Michael opens his mouth, shuts it and shares a look with Isobel that he can’t decipher. The children had their own little language when they were young, he wonders if they still do.

“They were going to send your father away,” he says simply, “and they gave us no indication that he would be allowed to return once his training was done, so…” he shrugs.

Like it was nothing at fifteen for the two of them to make a decision that would tie them together forever.

It _was_ nothing, Zan knew what he wanted, and he would have given up everything to make sure that Rath stayed with him. He would _still_ give up everything as long as he was allowed to keep Rath and their children.

But he knows now, just like he knew then when things with Vilandra soured.

She would never allow them to keep the twins, she would fight for them just to make sure they didn’t have them.

 

********************************

 

The bed next to him is cool when Rath wakes, his eyes feel scratchy and he still feels numb. He’d thought he had processed all his grief over Mara’s passing, but the sadness still sits heavy in his chest, so he supposes he hasn’t.

He can hear the soft hum of voices in the living room and he’s not ready to face the day yet, though he is curious to determine the outcome of Michael’s meeting with Alex.

He lays out new clothes and takes a quick shower, runs a comb through his hair and brushes his teeth.

When he walks out he can see there has been a table set up in the living room that wasn’t there the evening before when he’d shuffled Zan off to their room.

All his important people are sitting there with food in front of them, along with one of the healers newly awakened from stasis. There are also two of his lieutenants who had been sitting on the couch likely waiting for him to appear, they jump to their feet to come to attention as soon as they lay eyes on him.

“General, sir,” they both snap out and he waves a hand at them.

“We’re in quarters,” he says, Michael’s coffee cup is stopped halfway to his mouth and the expression on his face is baffling, Michael has seen him interact with his subordinates before. Though the ones currently in Roswell were also the ones kept in captivity with him, so they’d already managed to get past the need to come to attention and salute him every time he walked in their vicinity.

Zan smiles at him and he presses a kiss to the top of his head, runs a hand along Michael and Isobel’s heads as he passes them.

Max is on the opposite side of the table as them so he makes himself a cup of coffee and picks a few things off the little buffet of food to place on a plate, then sets it all down in the spot next to Max and touches the top of his head before he sits.

Zan is still smiling at him and the children all look baffled.

“He’s counting that all the children are accounted for,” Zan says, his eyes are gentle and fond and Rath pauses in sipping at his coffee and then shrugs.

Because that _is_ what he’s doing, though there should have been two kisses and three brushes and he swallows past the thickness in his throat.

He distracts himself with eating and when his plate is empty he looks at Michael who just looks back at him.

Then grins, a wide grin that lights up something in his eyes and a bit of Rath that he hadn’t even realize was tense and anxious relaxes.

He won’t need to explain to Zan why he has to bond to someone else.

“He gave me his number,” Michael says, he sounds so gleeful that Rath is sure that he’s been on his phone with Alex all morning. “They left for the second site really early this morning.”

“He’s been texting him since like 2 am,” Max says tiredly. “Which would have been fine, but he had the volume on his phone _on_ which meant we _both_ got notified whenever Alex texted him back. I think Alex finally told him to stop at 5 or so.”

“Max, you can sleep on the trip home,” Michael says sarcastically.

“Do you remember how small that plane was? I’m not sleeping on that.”

 

********************************

 

Jenna found no pods at the first site, though she had found evidence that there _had_ been pods at one point. Alex really hopes that Ben isn’t right, that the remains of Project Shepherd are pulling themselves together and consolidating locations.

He thinks the Major has the same worry, so Alex wasn’t surprised to see all the vehicle requisitions turn into plane tickets and rental vehicles instead.

The second site is just as empty as the first site though, it doesn’t even look as if it had been used as storage for anything.

Alone in a hotel room before they make the trip back home he goes through his notes to try and figure out the next location and who is actually in charge.

His dad is in a military custody, two of his three brothers are as well. That leaves Ryder as the odd man out and while he’s reached out feelers in the form of calls to his mother she hasn’t heard anything from Ryder either.

He’s not sure if that’s a good sign or a bad sign.

 

********************************


	12. Chapter 12

**Moving Forward 12/?**

 

The trip back to Roswell is uneventful and when the vehicles drop them off at Rath’s house everyone troops into the house, Max and Isobel making no motion toward leaving for their own homes.

Rath likes having everyone under the one roof, but there are only three bedrooms, while the boys were okay sharing a room for the short term on base, he thinks they would not be okay with sharing it long term.

The children scatter to drop bags in rooms and Zan stands in the middle of the living room looking slightly lost. It’s a familiar feeling, Rath felt similarly when he was standing in this room for the first time by himself.

Now though he’s not, he can hear the children moving around upstairs and he has Zan standing in front of him.

He pulls him into his arms and Zan wraps his arms around him in turn, turning his face into his neck. Rath just holds him.

“It’s very warm,” Zan says and Rath nods, pressing a hand against the back of Zan’s head.

“Supposedly we’ll get used to it, but I’ve seen no evidence of that happening,” Rath says softly, he pulls back and Zan smiles at him. “Sometimes I look at you and I think you’re not real, I’m still in stasis, or someone has gotten in my head and is making me see things not real.”

Zan cups his face in his hands and kisses him. Rath clutches him tightly and kisses back, he aches to disappear into their room and press him down into his bed.

Zan laughs into the kiss, a joyous happy sound that Rath hasn’t heard it what feels like forever.

“Later,” Zan promises against his lips, “I’ll take you to bed and we’ll prove that I’m very much not a figment of your imagination.”

The soft tap at the door is the only thing that stops Rath from dragging him off to their bed. Besides the fact that their children are in the house still.

Rath presses his lips to Zan’s forehead then goes to answer the door.

He knows who it is, so he is not surprised to see Tyrel standing there with the others standing a step behind.

They all look expectant and when Zan appears at his shoulder they all go to their knee for their King.

 

********************************

 

He makes a point of touching all of them as they enter the house in a single file line.

There’s so few of them, it breaks his heart and makes him wonder where the rest of his people are. Were they killed trying to flee, did they never make it off the planet?

Or did they suffer the same fate as Mara? Falling into hands that mistreated and killed them.

They scatter around the room and he recognizes faces even if the ages are off for many of them. Tyrel should be younger, _much_ younger then himself and Rath and now he looks old enough to be one of his military advisors.

The children come down the stairs and don’t seem to know what to do with the room full of their people.

He holds out a hand and they skirt the group, sitting on the small couch together, Michael and Max on either side of Isobel. She’s gripping their hands tightly and the boys both have wide eyes.

“The last total the Major gave me was that there are 138 of our people they’ve managed to locate,” Rath is saying when he looks away from the children.

“That includes the ones found with me?” Zan asks.

“Yes, there’s only 40 of us here now, though more will be coming as structures to house them in go up.”

“The houses go up so slowly,” Tyrel interjects, “the General and I have both told them that we can share housing but they seemed really distressed by that.”

“I don’t like us scattered like this,” Zan says and Rath nods in agreement. “And that there’s so few of us, there were at least four vessels the size of ours as well as the smaller privately owned ships that fled before we even released the order…”

“The Captain keeps searching, but I fear that…” Rath leaves it unspoken.

“You think Kivar might have made it here first,” Zan says and Rath’s mouth twists in unhappiness at the thought of Kivar here, but he doesn’t voice a disagreement.

He’s likely been thinking the same thing.

“I know you thought it not necessary General, but our King has been returned to us and I really do think it would be in our best interests to put guards in place now,” Tyrel says, his face has a stubborn set and Zan feels like this might be an argument that he and Rath have been having for a while.

“If there is _any_ likelihood that Kivar and Vilandra could be here,” Tare continues on for him, “you need to be protected highness and even if we do not put guards on the others at the very _least_ Rath the eighteenth should have a set as well.”

“Wait a minute,” Michael holds up a hand, “why do _I_ need guards? Shouldn’t Max be the one getting guards? You know as your oldest kid and all?”

Zan looks at him and then turns quizzical eyes at Rath who at least has the decency to look slightly abashed.

And Tyrel knows when a family discussion needs to happen, he and Bren make short order of ushering everyone out of the room through multiple exits.

In a manner of minutes, it’s just them, their small family just sitting there, all looking at Rath with varying degrees of confusion.

“It never came up in idle conversation,” Rath says defensively, he already has his arms crossed over his chest so Zan focuses on Michael instead.

“You are my oldest son,” Zan says gently to Michael, “you were born three days before the twins came.”

“But… you aren’t my dad, right? I thought,” and Michael turns confused eyes on his father.

“You are my son,” Zan says again. “Rath and I bound at fifteen, and we never broke that bond. His children are my children, my children are his children. _You_ are my oldest son, as such you would be next in line to my throne, then your sister and your brother.”

It was the one thing that Vilandra never seemed to understand, that Kivar never seemed to understand. They both thought that strictly by the virtue of him having contributed genetic material towards the creation of the twins that they would have a cleaner claim on his throne.

They were wrong; he had happily claimed Rath the eighteenth as his heir just moments after his birth when he and Rath were allowed back in the room and introduced by a glowing Mara to their newborn wailing son.

Unless he broke his bond with Rath (not likely), unless he renounced Rath the eighteenth (also not likely) and surrendered his claim on his throne (over his dead body), unless his son met an unlikely end (he would kill whoever caused it if Rath left him any pieces once he was done)… Vilandra’s children would never sit on his throne.

They likely know this now; his throne room would have sealed itself off without a direct descendant present.

They might have fled Antar to stay alive, but there is some small petty part of his mind that is immensely gratified in knowing that neither Kivar or Vilandra will ever sit on his throne.

 

********************************

 

“You know I don’t care, right?” Max asks as they’re curled up in the twin beds in the room that Michael has claimed as his own.

“He’s your dad,” Michael says, again. Zan is Max’s dad, he’s not sure how this heir stuff works but he’s pretty sure that means Max is supposed to be that. Though it sounds like Isobel had been the first twin born so maybe he should be having this argument with her instead.

“He’s _your_ dad too,” Max says, Michael can hear him shifting on his bed and he looks to the left and can see Max’s eyes glinting at him in the moonlight. “They’re _our_ dads,” he says in a voice that sounds amazed.

Max grew up with a mom and a dad in the form of the Evan’s, Michael doesn’t know why he sounds so pleased at the prospect of parents.

Except these are _actual_ parents, people that are genetically linked to one and all of them. Michael is sure he’s going to fuck up having a dad but he’s immensely gratified that he comes by the bisexual thing honestly.

Though he really could have done without the visual aids of having it confirmed when they walked in on Rath and Zan making out by the sink.

They touch each other and them a lot, and it’s remarkable how much Rath has softened since their first meeting.

He reaches over and palms his phone, there’s a missed text from Alex that he never heard come in.

“Did you turn the volume off on my phone?” he asks accusatorily, shaking the phone at him.

“I want to sleep.”

_Home, talk to you in the morning?_ Alex had texted about an hour earlier. Likely when Michael had been in the bathroom getting ready for bed.

_Yes. <3 _ he texts back, there’s no response so he’s sure that Alex has taken whatever meds he takes before bed and gone to sleep.

Michael misses him, now that he’s seen him again in person he wants to see him all the time. He doesn’t text him that though, he’s still got the tiniest bit of his dignity left and he doesn’t want to have awkward silence as his response if Alex doesn’t actually miss him as well.

 

********************************

 

Alex doesn’t yell himself awake from a nightmare where instead of his father slamming the hammer down on Michael’s hand it had been his head instead and Alex had been covered in his blood screaming.

There’s a _Yes. <3 _ on his phone when he touches shaking fingers to it to show him the time. His heart is racing and he’s likely going to need to take a shower and change his sheets. He swears he can feel Michael’s blood on his face.

_I miss you._ he taps out and sends it before he can second guess himself.

Because he does. He thinks he always will.

He breathes, in, out, just like his therapist tells him to. Slow even breaths and it takes long minutes before he finally feels in control.

He peels his sheet away and slowly sits up, fumbling for his crutches so he can make his way to the bathroom. Drops his damp shorts and t-shirt to the floor and steps into the shower.

He still feels shaky when he gets out, when he closes his eyes all he can see is that hammer and Michael’s head and blood. He’s definitely not going back to sleep so he dries off and then makes his way back to his bedroom to pull on clean shorts and an old faded t-shirt.

He starts coffee in the kitchen and tries not to look at the clock on the microwave which is telling him that it is 01:32 am. His laptop is on the kitchen table and after he pours what is likely to be the first of multiple cups of coffee he boots it up.

There’s an e-mail from his mom at the top of his inbox, sent not even twenty minutes prior.

She’s likely still awake so he takes the chance and calls her.

“What now?” she snaps into the phone, it’s very loud where she is and she sounds annoyed with the world in general which is honestly always been her default setting so he knows it doesn’t have anything to do with him.

“Why are you awake?” he asks.

“Why are you?” she retorts, the noise fades away.

“I had a nightmare,” he admits softly, because this is his mom, he can admit those things to her, especially when it’s over the phone and he doesn’t have her in a room trying to smother him with her attention.

“Oh baby,” she says, “that’s why I just don’t sleep.”

“I just got back on a normal sleep schedule, and things are good, I’m not sure where it came from.”

“Our brains are funny places,” she says softly, “trauma of any sort doesn’t hit on a set schedule. Each time you work through one there is another waiting to take its place.”

Alex sighs, because he doesn’t want to hear that, though he knows it’s likely true.

“Anyway, I managed to get through to your brother finally,” she says. “He’s being very cagey which means whatever your father managed to drag Hunter and Flint into he’s also managed to drag Ryder into, it’s a good thing he’s being held by the military because if I manage to get my hands on that man…”

“Mom…” Alex says sharply.

“I wouldn’t kill him,” she laughs harshly. Alex doesn’t believe her, not at all. But he’s also had no less then sixteen e-mails from her raging at him for how far his dad has managed to drag their family name down.

He’s not sure why she cares about the family name, she divorced their dad and didn’t waste any time getting rid of the Manes name.

“Ryder is going to send you either an e-mail or a text with a meeting place, as I said he’s being cagey as fuck, you should definitely take back up of some sort with you because I love all my boys, but he’s more like your father then I care to admit and I don’t trust that he’s not up to something.”

“You’re not going to try and get wherever it is for the meeting?”

“If I thought he’d wait for me to get there I’d make sure of it, but he’s going to make sure I’m _not_ because I’m just your sweet old mother and he doesn’t want me involved in the ‘family drama.”

“He has _met_ you before mom, he knows you’re not a sweet old mother just sitting around waiting for her kids to get married and pop out grandkids.”

“Not unless you have more big news to share with me, because your brothers seem to be firmly set in the bachelor lifestyle.”

“Michael is still a guy and we’ve not figured anything out yet.”

“I’m just going to remind you that I’m not getting any younger and I know of at least four very reputable adoption agencies that I can forward you contact information for. I know a couple shady ones as well, but we should at least try the good ones first.”

“Mom,” Alex sighs.

“I told you when you came out to me at sixteen, just because you’re gay doesn’t mean that you’re off the hook. I will have grandbabies, at this point I don’t even care if they’re fur babies of some sort.”

 

********************************


	13. Chapter 13

**Moving Forward 13/?**

 

Laying together with Zan in the bed that is now theirs Rath thinks he should be able to sleep. He can look over at where Zan is sleeping peacefully, face relaxed and smooth of lines.

He reaches a hand out but doesn’t touch him, he doesn’t want him to wake.

At the end, before Zan had finally called the order to evacuate, to try and save as many of their people as they could he had been sleeping in fits and starts. Barely minutes at a time and when Rath had sealed him in the stasis pod there had been a part of him that had been relieved that he would finally get the rest he so dearly deserved.

He slides out of bed, careful to not jostle the mattress any more then he needs to. Zan sighs and rolls to his side of the bed, pulling Rath’s pillow into his arms and burying his face in it.

Rath smiles as he pulls on shorts and opens the door just barely enough to slide out.

There is a light in in the living area, and when he comes down the stairs he can see Michael curled up on side of the couch. He’s staring at the tv though he does turn to look at him as he comes down the stairs.

Rath draws a hand over his head as he passes, then sits on the other end of the couch, drawing his legs up beside him and pulling the blanket that hangs over the back of the couch over him.

“Max snores,” Michael says, as if he needs to explain why he is awake when it is dark. “And I had a nightmare about Alex that somehow turned into a nightmare about him being trapped with mom when Caulfield exploded.”

“I worry,” Rath says. “Before I would worry that we would never find Zan before I died, now I worry that I’m not going to be able to protect any of you and if Kivar is here that he will manage to find us before we have suitable defenses in place.”

They both stare at where the tv is attempting to make them buy some feminine product that Mara would likely have called a torture device.

“Zan introduced me to Mara,” he says and he can feel Michael’s attention focus directly on him. “They were both healers, though Zan’s duties were such that couldn’t practice any longer, he did like to assist when he was able.”

“They weren’t…” and Rath knows Michael is trying to ask if they were intimate with one another, without actually wanting to know that his parents slept together.

“There were a few times with the three of us, mostly before Zan bonded with Vilandra, and after things with Vilandra fell apart,” Rath got the best of all worlds, he knows this. Knows that he was extremely lucky that Zan and Mara loved each other.

He wishes he could have loved Vilandra the way that Zan loved Mara, but it was hard to feel any emotion for her when she openly despised him.

They'd been friends as children, but that friendship had soured as fast as the bond had formed between him and Zan; that had solidified into something like hate when Zan wouldn't even discuss the possibility of breaking the bond shared with Rath so that he could bond Vilandra as first bondmate.

“Zan stayed with us a lot,” Michael says slowly, “so did Max and Is… I remember that.”

“When Vilandra started openly flaunting her affair with Kivar, Zan would stay with us most nights, he…” Rath sighs, “he talked about breaking the bond with her, but couldn’t figure out a way to do it that wouldn’t also force him to have to separate the twins from her.”

 

********************************

 

There must have been some point during the night where it was decided that bodyguards were happening. He must have missed that conversation though because he only realizes that he’s going to have a tagalong when he’s getting ready to leave and Bren slides into the passenger seat of his truck and just waits expectantly for them to start moving.

“I’m just going to work,” he says, he’s lived in Roswell his entire life, in that time the only threat to his life has been at the hands of Jesse Manes and since he’s currently in military custody as long as he doesn’t get drunk and start a bar fight he’s not in jeopardy at all.

“You won’t even know I’m there,” Bren says, he grins at him, and taps his fingers against the door.

He could just stop and turn around, go back and insist that yeah, no, he’s good without the bodyguard watching his every move.

But he doesn’t, because honestly, he doesn’t put it past Zan or Rath to forbid him from leaving the house even though he’s a grown ass man who’s been taking care of himself since he was like twelve.

“How long have you known my dad?” he asks later when he’s deep in the engine of a Ford that’s been beat to hell and back.

“I knew him before he was the General,” Bren says, he’s kicked back in a corner and Sanders had raised an eyebrow but not kicked him out or put him to work.

“I met him right after he bonded with Zan, we were in the same training programs when we were youths,” Bren says. Michael pulls himself out of the Ford to stare at him. Bren is a _lot_ older then Rath and Zan. “There was really no rhyme or reason for how they brought us out of stasis,” he shrugs as if he can see the questions in Michael’s head.

“So you would have known my mom too?” Michael asks.

“Mara, lovely woman, neither of them deserved her at all but Rath was as gone on her as he was on Zan, and Zan adored the ground she walked on. She loved the both of them idiots though they were. Pity that she hadn’t been born higher rank and all, would have solved all our problems.”

“I don’t really…” he doesn’t _remember_ her, not the way he wishes he did. He gets the flashes when they meditate, when the others talk about her, but he can’t and doesn’t want to spend _all_ his time meditating or tied up in conversation.

“She was a healer; the General would have told you that?”

“He said that Zan introduced them.”

“That he did, I have to wonder if he didn’t have a bit of foresight happening. Knowing that if he bonded Vilandra and she got pregnant before he managed to have a child with Rath that he would likely be murdered and Rath murdered right along with him.”

Michael bites his lip, stares blindly at the engine that he could fix in his sleep.

“She would have killed them.”

“She loved Zan at one point, of that I’m sure,” Bren says, “they wouldn’t have been able to form a stable bond without some degree of love between them. And I don’t think at first that he loved one of them more then the other, Zan’s got a kind heart, he wouldn’t have made that choice. But Vilandra met Kivar and barely months after the twins were born she was taunting Zan with the affair, there were rumors that the twins weren’t even Zan’s though if those people could see them now they would know that Zan the twenty-fourth is most definitely Zan’s son.”

 

********************************

 

The house is empty so Zan wastes absolutely no time in dragging Rath back to their room, the air conditioning is going and the curtains are drawn in a way that darkens the room slightly, they’re completely alone.

He strips him bare and allows Rath to do the same, he follows him down to the bed and hovers over him. Runs his hands over smooth skin, presses his lips and teeth against him and doesn’t close his eyes because he’s entirely too fearful that this is all a very vivid dream.

Rath stares at him with wonder in his eyes and touches him with all the reverence and love he always has.

“I love you,” he murmurs against the hollow of Rath’s neck and Rath’s hands wander down his back, pressing down so he can grind against him.

They spend long hours relearning each other, luxuriating in the quiet of the house and the contentment of being together.

Even though for Zan it has been less then a week since the last time they shared a bed, Zan thinks he can feel every minute of those long years that he was in stasis not touching Rath.

As such he sucks a mark to the side of Rath’s neck to remind all and sundry that the man is very much _taken_ , and he’s sure that he’s got at least two perfect imprints of Rath’s teeth on his shoulder and arm.

They lay there in the silence, sheets and blanket pushed down to the bottom of the bed, fan blowing directly on them. He curls into Rath, head resting on his shoulder, arm and leg thrown over him to keep him from trying to run off and be the General.

It’s likely unnecessary, since Rath has an arm curved around him hand resting lightly on his hip. Zan draws idle patterns on his skin.

“You haven’t mentioned Vilandra,” Rath says softly and Zan just breathes. “I’m assuming that to mean she still lives since you didn’t fight Tyrel and Tare on guards for Michael?”

“Yes,” Zan confirms and Rath pulls him closer, even though they’ve literally nothing between them save skin and air.

“The bond is weak, I could break it and it would be done and over finally,” Zan says, there’s still the tiniest bit of his heart that Vilandra’s betrayal hadn’t broken that feels sadness at the thought. The larger part reminds him that he has Rath, that he has the children.

“She would definitely know that you still live if you do that,” Rath says.

“Or would think I’ve finally died.”

“I think our luck is that she will take it as confirmation that you still live instead of verification that you have died, leave it for now, at least it allows us to know _she_ lives.”

Zan lays there for a moment and when he looks up at Rath he finds the other man looking back at him, he closes the distance between their lips and Rath’s fingers press into skin and his other hand comes over to tug him onto him.

“You’re mine,” Rath murmurs against his lips and Zan makes a noise of agreement, because he is and always will be. No matter Vilandra’s still existent claim, he is Rath’s, Rath is his.

He lets himself fall into the kiss, he’s hard and wants but there is no rush, they’re together again.

 

********************************

 

Mom is right, as she normally is, which would be annoying if the whole Ryder situation wasn’t making his skin crawl.

Ryder _is_ being a cagey asshole and when he flips out, berating him about trust and family when Alex states that he’ll be bringing at least one other person with him, well Alex is instantly suspicious.

“He’s up to something,” he says to Jenna and Jenna just looks at him over the expanse of his desk.

“He could just want to meet brother to brother.”

“He shouldn’t care, dad is going to spend some time in a military prison. If Flint and Hunter don’t start talking soon they’ll be following in his footsteps in the bad way and not the good way,” Alex sighs and steeples his hands together. “Is it awful that I kind of hoped that Ryder not getting swept up into custody at one of the prisons meant that dad hadn’t had time to pull him in?”

“Well he’s your brother,” Jenna shrugs. “We always hope for the best with our siblings.”

“And they live to disappoint us,” Alex stares blankly down at the paper he’d written the address that Ryder wants to meet at down on.

He’s going to need to get permission to go and he’s going to need to get someone signed off to go with him, maybe a couple someone’s because he’s got a _bad_ feeling about his meeting.

“I’ll go with you,” Jenna offers. “If he sees a girl maybe he’ll do the guy thing and forget I’m there?”

Alex rolls his eyes because Jenna is the least girly girl that he’s ever met, though she’s also right. It’s the blonde hair and blue eyes that instantly make her seem like the girl next door and not like someone who could have you disarmed and flat on your ass in 2.4 seconds.

“I’m thinking Talbot as well, send him in early so he can scope exit scenarios, so we can be prepared in case it all goes to shit.”

“You’ve already pulled the blueprints of the building, haven’t you? Jesus how deep do you think your brother is in?”

“He hasn’t been scooped up at any of the facilities, I think…” he leans back in his chair and taps his fingers against his desk. “I think he’s in deeper then Hunter and Flint were, but Ryder has always been the one with the plans, my dad is out of play, which means someone else is calling or _has_ been calling the shots.”

“You think whoever they were running from is here?”

“I think best case scenario is Ryder is just being a giant asshole.”

Worst case scenario is probably going to have him making a trip to Roswell to discuss with some Antarians who or what they were fleeing from.

 

********************************


	14. Chapter 14

**Moving Forward 14/?**

 

Isobel spends her mornings finally packing up the remainder of Noah’s things. It’s been a year, when she’d confided to the therapist that she couldn’t bring herself to pack away his things her therapist had reminded her that everyone grieved and healed at different paces.

She’d moved the items out of the master bedroom just a month after Noah had revealed himself, but she couldn’t bring herself to _actually_ get rid of anything.

She’s made small changes though, pictures of her with Noah have been pulled down and replaced with pictures of her family that don’t _include_ Noah.

There’s not enough of _those_ , she had never realized how completely tied up in Noah she had been. But there’s only a handful of pictures of her with her brothers and mom and dad.

So much empty space, she needs more pictures. She needs to convince Rath and Zan to allow her to take some pictures, so her fathers can be on the wall, and she needs more pictures of Michael and Max and she supposes that Liz and Alex will end up on the walls as well, which means likely Maria and Kyle and Rosa as well.

When the doorbell chimes she’s startled, she’s not expecting anyone, Michael and Max are both at work, Rath and Zan are both out at the ranch and likely taking the time with them gone to get reacquainted.

The way they love each other makes her smile because she can feel every ounce of devotion they feel towards one another.

The doors and windows are all locked, she’s safe in her house. So she peers through the peep hole in the door expecting to be able to just ignore whoever is standing on her doorstep and is shocked to see Rosa there.

She looks bored and annoyed at the same time, Isobel knows she doesn’t actually have time to go take a shower, redo her hair and makeup, change her clothes, but she really wants to.

She also knows that Rosa doesn’t care what she’s wearing, or what she looks like because Rosa doesn’t appear to _like_ her all that much anymore.

It shouldn’t hurt, but it does.

There’s a brief moment where she contemplates just not answering the door but Rosa looks directly at where the hole is and while logically Isobel knows Rosa can’t see her standing there looking at her through it she knows the other woman knows she’s there.

So she takes a bracing breath, puts on her best pageant queen smile and opens the door.

Rosa just stares at her, arches an eyebrow, “you look really manic, how much caffeine have you had this morning?”

“None?” Isobel asks, almost entirely wrong footed, she can feel her smile fade away and she’s left feeling like she normally feels when Rosa is around.

Filled with confusion, loneliness… love.

“Can I come in?” Rosa asks, gesturing towards the door and Isobel startles then holds the door open for Rosa to brush past.

Isobel isn’t sure what it means when Rosa touches her arm as she passes by; Rosa doesn’t normally reach out to her and the few times when Isobel had tried to reach out Rosa rebuffed any of those attempts and snapped her teeth at her for good measure.

“It’s very you,” Rosa says, as she looks around the living room.

“What are you doing here?” Isobel asks, straight to the point, she winces inwardly as Rosa looks a little taken aback.

“You keep wanting to talk,” Rosa says, hands moving in the air, “and I was talking to Maria about stuff and she said I should just talk to you.”

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” Isobel says, not entirely sure what to think of _Maria_ being the one to convince Rosa to talk to her. They stand there silently staring at one another. It used to be, back before Rosa died that they could talk about anything.

But Isobel doesn’t remember half those conversations because she wasn’t the one having them. And the conversations that she _does_ remember don’t really shed any light on the current issue.

The dreams are no better, because she isn’t sure if they’re memories or her overactive imagination realizing she hasn’t had sex in over a year, and besides they’re just filled with skin and want and this woman pressed against her and no other information.

She’s certainly not going to mention _those_ dreams to Rosa, she doesn’t really want the confirmation that they were never intimate with one another and the look of disgust that would inevitably follow when she realizes that Isobel is thinking about her naked fills her with dread.

“I should have realized there was something wrong,” Rosa says finally.

“What?”

“Back then,” Rosa takes a step closer and Isobel shudders out a breath as Rosa takes her hand, laces their fingers together and just squeezes. “I even told you, back then, that it was like you were two separate people.”

“I don’t remember that…” Isobel whispers.

“Then it was probably _him_ ,” Rosa says, she sounds so tired and kind of angry, “It was probably him when I told you that if you wouldn’t allow me to tell others about us that we were done, I’ve never hid what I am and what I want, I’m not ashamed of me,” she says and she tosses her hair and looks at Isobel like she’s daring her to make her try.

“I hate him,” Isobel whispers and Rosa nods her head in agreement, even though Rosa didn’t have that man in her bed for years telling her how much he loved her. Trying to convince her to have kids that if she was being truthful with herself she wasn’t even sure she _wanted_.

“He certainly didn’t make things any easier.”

 

********************************

 

Michael lets Bren walk back to his own house and makes his way into his dads, the door is open when he comes up the steps and when he goes in he can see Rath and Zan curled up on the couch. Zan is laying down, head in Rath’s lap. He looks to be asleep and Rath is running his fingers through the close-cropped hair.

He smiles at him but doesn’t move as Michael passes by to head to the stairs to go take a shower, change out of what he considers his work clothes but are really just his oldest jeans and t-shirt.

 _How do you feel about sharing your siblings?_ Alex has texted him while he’d been driving home.

 _all your brothers following in daddys footsteps?_ he texts back, he tosses his phone on his bed and goes to shower. He makes it quick because Alex is _always_ busy it seems and if he’s responding Michael might get to have an actual conversation with him.

But he’s also sweaty and dirty and doesn’t want to lay on his bed because that’ll mean doing laundry which he’s not scheduled to do tonight.

When he gets back, towel around his waist there’s a waiting text sent just minutes before.

_Seems like it, might only have mom left if Ryder has lost all his brain cells since the last time I saw him_

Michael takes the chance and presses on Alex’s contact information, it rings twice before Alex answers.

“Yes?”

“This is easier,” Michael says by way of explanation and Alex laughs at him. “Also I don’t think I actually remember your brothers, did any of them have a brain cell between them or did you get all of them?”

“I think Flint and Hunter shared one, I thought Ryder had at least a couple he kept for himself but…” Alex sighs, Michael imagines he’s probably shrugging as well.

“You sound tired,” Michael says.

“I’m not, I’m just… we’re probably flying out in a few days to try and nail Ryder down and I feel like…” Alex is quiet on the other end.

“Feel like what,” Michael prompts and there’s a cold pit of dread in his stomach. Like his whole world is getting ready to be pulled out from under him, he’s not sure if it’s him feeling like that or Alex feeling like that.

“I feel like we’re running out of time,” Alex admits softly, like he doesn’t want to be overheard.

“Alex,” Michael starts.

“It’s what we’ve been worried about, that we’re not well manned enough to find everyone and everything before they start consolidating sites and going dark where they can.”

“Should you be telling me this?”

“Probably not, but you’re involved, it’s not like you don’t know what we’re up against.”

Michael just hmms in agreement, because as much as he hates it, it’s true. But he’s also not sure what kind of help he can offer.

“You think your brother is involved too?” he asks instead of begging Alex to come home, to let someone else shoulder the responsibility. He doesn’t want to hear Alex tell him no.

“I think…” Alex pauses and Michael sits down on his bed, runs a hand over wet hair and waits. “I think Ryder might be involved in something else,” he finally says carefully. “And I don’t like the implications of it.”

 

********************************

 

He can hear the quiet hum of Michael talking, he’s sure he hears Alex’s name at least once and he’s gratified that things are starting to go more smoothly between the two of them.

He wants his son happy, he wants Alex happy, he wants them to be happy with _each other_ and conversations like the one he believes his son to be having will hopefully get them to a common footing for that to be able to happen for them.

“I can hear your brain going,” Zan mumbles, his eyes are still closed so Rath continues running his fingers though his hair.

“Michael is talking to the Captain,” he says softly by way of explanation.

“That’s a good thing, right?”

“Yes, it minimizes the need for me to try and play matchmaker, I’m not suited for that role,” Rath says. He could do it, he’s sure, but he’s very glad he doesn’t need to. “I told the Captain once that if Michael wanted to break the bond that I would bond him in his place.”

Zan pries an eye open and glares at him.

“He’s a valuable ally, I didn’t want to give him a chance to rethink his decision to help us. Plus he’s smart and capable, he’s a good match for Michael, if we were still on Antar I think he would have been one of my best officers,” he pauses for a moment, “and he kind of reminds me of Mara I think, he’s very focused when he has a mission in front of him, just like she was.”

His heart twists and Zan sits up, pulling Rath into his arms.

He lays his head against his neck and doesn’t cry, he’s very tired of feeling grief though the therapists tell him that he’ll heal in his own time.

Zan runs a hand over the back of his head, pressing it against his neck. The touch both firm and calming, reminding him that he’s still there, that’s he’s not alone.

 

********************************

 

Michael heats up the grill and somehow both Max and Isobel know this is happening as they arrive within moments Michael turning the grill on.

Zan stays a distance away, he’s never been good with the preparing of food, the most Mara would ever trust him with was the shredding of greens for a side, or possibly heating something already prepared.

She knew that he was raised in a home with cooks and servants, which isn’t quite fair because Rath was raised in that home with him before he was sent off to school.

But Rath was also quite capable of living off military rations and had done so for long stretches of time, coming back to them thinner then he had been when he’d left.

“Rosa came to see me today,” Isobel is smiling as she says this and a glance at Rath shows this to be a good thing. Rosa is likely on the other end of Isobel’s bond then. “We’re going to try talking, maybe go out on date or something.”

“I’d like to meet her,” Zan says and Isobel beams at him and she looks so light and at peace in that moment that he pulls her into his arms. Rath smiles at him as he passes by with a plate filled with meat that he hands over to Michael then comes to stand beside him, one arm going around him and the other reaching out to touch the back of Isobel’s head.

Rath smooths her hair like he would when she was a child and curled up on his lap, then presses a kiss to his cheek and goes to sit near where Max has dragged chairs over by the grill so he can talk to Michael but lounge about at the same time.

He stands there for a moment and when he draws away he presses a kiss to her forehead.

“I think she’ll like you,” Isobel says and Zan can hear the hope in her voice.

“I’m sure I will.”

 

********************************

 

“I have a really bad feeling about this,” Jenna mutters as they walk into the bar that Alex and Ryder had managed to agree on.

Talbot has already sent a text confirming he’s inside but has no eyes on Ryder.

“Yeah,” if they need to get out quick they’re fucked in any scenario, he kind of wishes he’d brought the crutch, if only so he’d have it for a weapon.

But he’d also not wanted the visible sign of a weakness, Ryder _is_ his fathers son.

Jenna curls her hand around his arm, leaning into his side, he’d nixed the short skirt and tank top because his brother knows he’s gay and if Jenna had walked in on his arm wearing that his brother would know something was up.

Plus he wants Jenna to be able to run if the need arises so she’s in jeans and t-shirt and the boots with no heels even though she swore she could run in the other ones if she needed to.

The bar is mostly empty, it’s still early only 20:00 which is likely why Ryder agreed to this time, Alex doesn’t acknowledge Talbot perched at the bar and instead pulls out Jenna’s chair for her. She side eyes him hard, but still sits.

“How long do we wait for him?” she finally asks when it’s been no more than 5 minutes of them sitting in silence listening to awful juke box music.

“You in a hurry sweetheart?” Alex hears and Ryder walks up right next to him, laying a hand on his shoulder that Alex doesn’t respond to.

“Ryder,” he says when his brother takes the third chair at their table, slouching in it and making a hand motion that has the waitress scurrying over.

“Three beers, whatever’s on tap,” he says with a wide smile.

“Water for me,” Alex says.

“Same,” Jenna nods, she’s studying Ryder with narrowed eyes.

“Army, sweetheart?” Ryder asks, Jenna just arches an unimpressed eyebrow at him and doesn’t respond, Ryder laughs. He doesn’t say anything more until the waitress brings back the beer and water and even then he doesn’t drink the beer. Just peels at the label like he’s bored.

That feeling of dread that Alex has been feeling since mom told him that she’d got in touch with Ryder… it’s pressing at his shoulder and back and urging him to get the fuck out of there.

“What are you doing Ryder?” he asks when they sit there silently, Ryder picking at the corner of the label, him and Jenna not drinking the water because even from here he can see that the bottles have already been opened.

It could be their waitress being nice, it could be because their waitress is in on whatever horseshit Ryder is waist high in.

“You should have just stayed out of it,” Ryder says idly. “But no, not only did you turn over all the Project Shepherd stuff, but then you actively start shutting down the facilities? Do you know how much danger you put us in? They were safe there…”

Jenna snorts and Alex laughs harshly, he’s sure there’s a look of disbelief on his face.

“Safe? They were being tortured, dad fucking had Caulfield wired to blow up, how the hell is that being safe?”

Ryder just shakes his head at him, like he’s a child who just doesn’t get it.

“If they were in those facilities they were safe, if they were there, then there was a plausible reason why they couldn’t be moved somewhere else…” Ryder reaches into his pocket, pulls out a small cylinder and sets it in the middle of the table.

Alex eyes it, then glances over at where Ryder is tapping his fingers absently against the table top, he slowly pushes back from the table and from the corner of his eye he can see Jenna coming to her feet as well.

He makes a hand motion at Talbot and the other man nods, takes three steps in the direction of the door and then crumples.

“Ryder what the fuck are you doing?” he asks, even as Jenna pulls at his arm to get him moving, his legs aren’t cooperating, and Jenna makes a noise then staggers a step away, only to go down just like Talbot.

“I need you to trust me Alex,” Ryder says as he pushes himself to his feet, he walks right up to Alex, one hand gripping his arm tightly, the other one going to the side of his face to force him to look at him. “I need you to trust me and I need you to _not_ tell them where they’re sending them, I need you to not even think about it, just bury it, wherever you need to bury it so no one knows where they are.”

“Ryder…” Alex mumbles, his entire body feels heavy, like the only thing keeping him on his feet his Ryder’s hand on his arm and face and he falls forward. Ryder’s arms coming around him like they would when they were kids, right after mom left and they were both so sad.

They sink to the ground together and Alex lets his head drop against his brothers’ shoulder.

“Trust me Alex, please, I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

 

********************************

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Moving Forward 15/?**

 

He doesn’t know what woke him up. Max is at his own home so there’s no soft snoring from the other bed. He lays there for a moment and all he hears is the faint humming of the fan, and nothing else. He fumbles for his phone mostly on reflex.

Alex had already said he would be out of touch, had sent a text reminding him of that fact ‘so he wouldn’t worry’, so he’s not surprised to see no texts waiting for him.

Things are still new, fresh. Michael thinks he _would_ worry if Alex didn’t respond to texts for days on end without some sort of warning.

He knows himself enough that he knows he’ll be worrying regardless.

He wonders if this is what it would have been like if they had managed to muddle through and stay together or at the very least in touch… if he would have gotten used to Alex being out contact, not accessible by any manner known to him.

He doesn’t just have a cell phone now though and he closes his eyes, breathes, reaches out to the bond that links him to Alex and it’s still whole, healthy.

So that means _Alex_ is still whole and healthy, that he’ll eventually turn his phone on and answer the 100 or so texts that Michael has sent during the course of the days where it’s quickly become second nature to send him his random thoughts during the day.

He strokes the bond, lets it thrum steadily against the palms of his metaphysical fingers and shoves a steady stream of _love you, miss you, come home_ down it to Alex.

He wonders at some point if Alex will be able to send things back through the bond at him, or if it will always be this one-way loop.

He closes his eyes, but sleep doesn’t come again; so he climbs out of bed and wanders down the hall towards the stairs leading to the living room.

A glance to the right shows the door to Rath and Zan’s room shut which means both his dads are still sleeping. He thumbs his phone on and it’s only 2 am, normally Rath’s internal clock seems to start going off at about 3.

He curls up on the couch, palms the remote and flips through channels slowly looking for something to have on as background noise.

He lays there with a pillow folded in half between his head and the arm rest, a blanket pulled over him as he settles on a low budget horror movie that is probably more comedy then horror.

He must zone out at some point as he’s startled when Rath touches the back of his head before coming around the front of the couch and settling on the other end.

“Is there a reason you wake up this early?” he asks, because Rath always seems like its normal for him to roll out of bed at 3 am when no one else is moving around.

Rath shrugs, “I would get up this early so I could bathe and eat before overseeing morning training, we all staggered our schedules at one point so one of us would always be with you and your siblings, so there were many mornings that the only reason I saw your mother was because I got up early enough to eat with her before I went off and she climbed into bed.”

“I wish I remembered her more,” Michael says softly.

“When our mind healers arrive I’ve already asked them to look at your memories, as well as Max and Isobel’s, to see what can be done about unblocking them.”

“You think they’re still there?”

“It would take a powerful mind to remove them completely, I think it more likely that the memories are just buried behind a wall we can’t see or find.”

 

********************************

 

Zan is used to waking alone, he doesn’t think he will ever grow to like it.

He goes through his morning routine and showers, cleans his teeth, pulls on a new pair of shorts and a t-shirt. He feels horribly underdressed, but there’s nothing to be done for it.

He does like the fact that when he’s done with all that and walks downstairs, Rath is laying on the couch instead of off being the General. He’s sure at some point the General will make his return, he’s happy right now to have just Rath at his disposal.

It feels like vacations they once took where they would just laze around and be together. Toes buried in the sand, Mara curled under Rath’s arm, the children playing in the water with whoever Rath trusted enough to delegate to guard duty.

Rath smiles at him and holds out a hand when he sees him and Zan goes willingly enough to fit himself between the back of the couch and Rath’s side. Rath’s arms wrap loosely around him as he noses at Zan’s cheek before kissing him good morning.

He loses himself in the kiss, in Rath’s mouth on his, Rath’s hands pushing their way under his t-shirt to scratch nails against his skin and hold him tight.

He doesn’t remember being this desperate for Rath’s skin against his since they were newly bonded and just realizing what their bodies were capable of together.

“We have three children,” he murmurs against Rath’s lips and Rath laughs at him.

“Those children are off being adults now,” Rath reminds him one hand sliding down the back of his shorts, Zan bites his lip and Rath pinches him in retaliation.

“We have a bed,” Zan says, “it’s much more comfortable,” he adds, his fingers drag in Rath’s hair and tugs gently. Rath pushes and prods until Zan is laying cradled between his legs.

“I love you,” Rath says, his eyes are dark and intent, bond wide open between them and Zan takes the invitation that is offered and sinks into the mind that is as well known to him as his own.

He lets Rath’s love and desire, those emotions that have never faltered or wavered between them, wash over him, settle into his bones and remind him that though he somehow failed Vilandra, Rath is still here with him.

“I love you too,” he says, or he thinks he says; Rath’s lips are pressed to his so those words might not actually be spoken out loud.

 

********************************

 

She tries her best not to dress up, but Rosa asked her to meet for lunch and while she didn’t use the word ‘date’ in the sentence when she asked it certainly _feels_ like a date type activity.

And Isobel always tries to put her best foot forward; so that means a sundress, sandals that are flats not heels and her every day purse not her evening wear clutch.

Rosa is already sitting in the booth at the Crashdown, and while Liz raises an eyebrow at her from her position at the counter Isobel instead chooses to smile and remind herself that breathing is not optional and goes to the booth.

She shouldn’t be this nervous, it’s not like she hasn’t interacted with Rosa since her return.

But this is one of the first times where it’s just the two of them out in public, in a booth across from each other, alone.

She should have set up a code word with Michael or Max in case she needed a rescue though.

“Why do you look like you’re going to start hyperventilating at any second?” Rosa asks and Isobel blinks at her and doesn’t manage to reply.

Rosa reaches across the table and lays her fingers on top of Isobel’s, they’re barely touching but it feels intimate in a way that Isobel isn’t used to anymore. There’s an expression on Rosa’s face that Isobel thinks means she’s waiting for Isobel to yank her hand away and look disgusted or embarrassed.

She doesn’t like that expression, and she wonders if there’s a time in their past that she doesn’t remember where she did just that.

She doesn’t really care, she’s not going to ask because she doesn’t want confirmation of how badly she treated or Noah wearing her body and mind treated Rosa. Instead she lays her other hand over top Rosa’s, and something in Rosa’s body relaxes and she blushes, a small smile on her lips and Isobel wonders at what date it’s appropriate for her to kiss her or hold her hand.

 

********************************

 

He knew it wasn’t going to take long before Zan was bored of not doing anything, _he’s_ already been bored for some time but he can’t exactly call up the Major and demand to be put to work.

So when he comes back from meeting with Tyrel on how security upgrades are going to find Zan at a table going through the list of known survivors with Tare he is unsurprised.

He stands behind Zan, resting his hand lightly on his shoulder and stroking the side of his neck with his thumb as he eyes the list they’ve put together. Names, current ages, job duties. It looks like Zan and Tare have been creating field units, though they’re missing a few vital areas of responsibility. When Tare stops talking long enough to breathe and Zan just glares at the papers in front of him like those missing names will fill themselves in his finally asks his question.

“Have we really found none of our pilots?”

“No,” Tare says, “and we have the most current up to date list and not a single pilot among the survivors so far.”

“That’s…” troublesome. Of course, if the pilots are missing, likely they’ll be found with their ships. Or they could have been killed upon their landing here, in most cases protocols that had much of the crew on a ship in stasis for travel would have the pilots being the first awakened to deal with course corrections or landing when needed.

“I can fly,” Rath says. “There’s a few of my lieutenants that have some flight experience, of course this is all dependent on finding the ships we came in and some idea of what your plan is if we find those ships.”

Zan turns to scowl at him, but it’s not like Tare doesn’t know his capabilities, he’s actually more surprised that Tare didn’t just have his name listed as a confirmed pilot. Tare more than some know exactly what he’s capable of and what he’s been trained to do.

“We’ll pick up tomorrow in the am? And think on what we spoke of regarding your son,” Tare says and Rath narrows his eyes, as if he can sense the tension in the room Tare just stands and issues a short bow that Zan waves a hand at before he departs out the back door.

“He wants to begin discussing Michael’s training,” Zan says, he sounds tired and Rath tugs him out of the chair and into his arms.

“Why? The world where you’re our King and he’s our Prince doesn’t exist anymore,” Rath murmurs, Zan’s arms just tighten around him.

“But our people still exist, and our people still need the hope that having us visible and in control affords us.”

 

********************************

 

When Alex manages to peel his eyes open his vision is hazy and he can’t focus on anything.

There’s movement all around him, the room is shockingly white and bright, and he blinks and blinks again.

He thinks he can hear Ryder off to the left arguing with someone, a man from the low timber of his voice.

He focuses on breathing and tests his limbs. It was an exercise he did in the hospital after he lost his leg, when he was trying to come to grips with the fact that he _lost his fucking leg_.

Five fingers, five fingers, five toes, five toes and he stops, counts his toes one, two, three, four, five, six…

His eyes shoot open and a machine to the right starts shrieking as he’s sure his heart rate goes through the roof and he goes to sit up, struggles to get his arms under him and he realizes that he’s actually restrained on the fucking bed.

“Alex, Alex, Alex,” Ryder is yelling, hands on his arms trying to force him to lay back.

“What did you do? Ryder what did you do?” he breathes, he still can’t focus but when he can he sees his legs, the one that should be a prosthetic is made of some sort of material that he can’t quite identify in the midst of his hysteria, he can see faux muscle and the toes of that fake foot wiggle at him when he thinks about them.

“What did you do?” he asks and Ryder is shoved out of the way and what he assumes is a doctor or a nurse or some sort of medical professional presses a needle to the inside of his arm. It burns, he’s sure it’s a sedative of some sort by the way his eyes drop almost immediately.

“You would think he’d be at least the slightest bit appreciative,” the male voice that Ryder had been arguing with says.

“I told you to wait, I told you that I wanted to talk to him first,” Ryder snarls back at him.

“And I would have allowed that if not for the fact that he’s bonded to someone and seeing as how your kind doesn’t bond the way that mine does that leads to all sorts of interesting questions, I’ll get the answers to those questions but it doesn’t hurt to have the slightest bit of incentive to bring him to our side,” the man says, his tone is smooth and even and Alex sort of hates him a little bit for no reason.

“He’s not bonded to anyone,” Ryder insists. “And if you’d just let me talk to him first…”

“Oh he definitely is, someone go wake Vilandra and we’ll see if we can entice her to tell us who your brothers’ mystery suitor is.”

 

********************************

 


	16. Chapter 16

**Moving Forward 16/?**

 

They’re eating breakfast when the knock comes, it can’t be the twins as they both have keys and codes to the security system to get in the house, Michael is sitting across from him with his face in a coffee mug and Zan is leaned back in his chair with his hand on Rath’s thigh.

He lifts away Zan’s hand and presses his lips to his knuckles before going to greet their visitor.

“Major,” he says in surprise when he opens the door and he’s presented with someone he thought to never see step foot in Roswell.

Whatever news he’s there to bring them is not good from the set and stony expression on his face, and the array of soldiers behind him.

“Are we in some sort of trouble?” he asks and the Major shakes his head.

“Precautionary only.”

Rath nods and holds the door open for the man to enter.

Zan has come out of the kitchen, Michael at his shoulder with coffee mug still in hand and they share no blood but they have matching faces that scream of annoyance at their meal being interrupted.

“We have an issue,” the Major says carefully, “And I wanted you to hear it from me before it filters down through the grapevine or through other means.” There’s something about the way that the Major is holding himself that sends a trickle of fear down his spine.

“What kind of issue?” Rath says and even he knows that’s his General voice. He knows what he sounds like when he’s making commands that demand obedience.

“We should maybe sit down,” the Major says and Rath sees the way his eyes flick over to Michael and Zan and he inclines his head. He touches Zan’s arm as he leads the Major to the living room.

Zan sits next to Michael, closer than his son would probably like but Rath is almost positive that whatever bad news the Major is here to impart concerns the Captain.

“So let’s just get to what’s happened that requires the precaution of soldiers in Roswell,” Rath says.

“Captain Manes, Ms. Cameron and Sergeant Talbot are all missing,” the Major says and Rath nods, even as Michael is making a disbelieving noise and coming to his feet even as Zan is attempting to keep him down on the couch and shield him from the lamp that has exploded to their left.

Rath ignores both Michael’s loss of control and Zan’s low voice for the moment and focuses on the Major.

“Tell us what happened.”

“Captain Manes has three brothers,” the Major starts. “We already have his father, and two of his brothers in custody but he has a third, Ryder. He made contact with him and arranged a meeting, Ms. Cameron and Sergeant Talbot went with him, we had the bar they were meeting at bugged and wired for sound but somehow in the thirty minutes they were in everything went dead and by the time the rest of his men got in there they were gone as was his brother.”

 

********************************

 

Michael keeps dialing the phone, disconnecting and trying again every time it goes directly to voice mail.

“Pick it up, pick it up,” he mutters but Alex never answers.

“You need to calm down,” Rath says as he walks into the room, he takes the phone gently from Michael’s hands and sets it aside, pulling him into his arms like he’s nothing more than a child needing comfort.

Michael is stiff for a minute before kind of collapsing into him. His dad just holds him, pressing a hand against the back of his head. “He’s alive and he’s going to be okay.”

“You can’t know that,” Michael says and he’s not even the slightest bit ashamed of the fact that he’s crying into his father’s shoulder.

“Yes, I can, your Captain is strong and resilient and he’s likely going to rescue himself and the others long before we even can come up with a plan that we can all agree on.”

“I can’t,” Michael starts, “if something happens to him…”

“Just keep focused on your bond, it’s strong and healthy.”

Another set of arms come around him, he knows its Zan without even lifting his head to look and he clings to his fathers and lets his father’s hold him in return.

 

********************************

 

“…Alex, Alex, come on Manes, Jesus fuck wake up,” he can hear Jenna muttering, he brushes a hand against his face where she’s lightly tapping with her fingers.

“What the hell?” he mutters, he opens his eyes and comes to regret it minutes later when he’s swamped with nausea and rolls to his side.

He pants through his mouth, desperately trying not to be physically ill and Jenna just rubs his back and makes soothing noises.

“What happened?” he asks when he can open his eyes and sit up without wanting to throw up immediately.

“Well your brother is a grade A fucking dick,” Jenna informs him.

“They dumped us in here a couple days ago,” Talbot offers helpfully from where he’s sitting cross legged, they’re both in gray cotton shorts and t-shirts, the same items of clothing he’s wearing when he glances down at himself. “They brought you in a couple hours ago, really kind of hoping that you’re not going to go all Winter Soldier on us.”

“Excuse me?”

“He’s really hoping that your new leg didn’t come with a side of memory wiping or re-programming or something,” Jenna says as she perches on the floor behind him. “I got a very long monologue about the Marvel universe movies that I would really not like to hear a repeat of if it’s all the same to you both.”

Alex touches the new leg with shaking hands, it feels real, kind of like his _actual_ leg would have felt except this new one has a faintly metallic sheen and he knows it’s _not_ fucking real because he vividly remembers when he lost it in the first place.

He can feel it though, when he presses his nails into the fake skin and the toes he can _feel_ it.

“Get your hands off me,” someone screeches when the door opens, and a woman is dragged into the room between two men in uniforms that Alex doesn’t recognize. Ryder looking impassive except for the anger in his eyes trailing along behind them, the door closes as soon as the man that he’d been arguing with enters.

The guards drop her and she goes flying at the man, fingers scratching at his face only for her to be dragged away again by the guards, fighting against their hold.

Lunging like if she just tries hard enough she can break free.

She’s dressed like they are, shorts and a t-shirt, bare feet. There are bruises on her arms and legs, some fading, some new ones.

She looks like Isobel, _exactly_ like Isobel, except Alex has never seen Isobel look this angry and downright homicidal. This is likely Isobel and Max’s missing mother.

“Now, now, my dear Vilandra,” the man says smoothly, and Alex knows it’s irrational, he doesn’t even _know_ this guy, but he hates him with every fiber of his being.

From the expression on Ryders face that disappears so quickly Alex isn’t quite sure what he _saw_ , he thinks maybe his brother does as well. “Is that any way to act in front of guests?”

“I hate you,” Vilandra snarls, she struggles futilely between her guards straining to attack once more. Alex glances over at where Jenna is shaking her head and Talbot has moved from where he’d been on the floor to closer to them.

“You don’t mean that my love,” the man says, he steps forward and runs a hand down the side of her face and the disgust and revulsion that crosses it before she snaps her teeth at his hand is mesmerizing. He shouts and slaps her, and Alex comes to his feet, Jenna right beside him.

“Hey,” he says taking a step forward, Jenna latching onto his arm to keep him back and Ryder shaking his head and warning him away.

It doesn’t even matter, the two don’t even take notice of him, too embroiled in their interpersonal relationship drama to take notice of anyone else in the room with them.

“I hope Rath destroys you, I hope he rends you limb from limb and I hope he makes you _suffer_ ,” she hisses. “And I’ll dance on your grave with them when he’s done.”

“You’ll be in the grave with me darling Vilandra,” he says sweetly, “your precious Zan couldn’t even tell the difference between his wife and the shade within her,” he grips her face in his hand and kisses her violently. She bites him and he laughs as he backs away, blood on his lips.

“But that’s not why we’re here,” he says and he turns his attention to where Talbot is standing in front of Alex and Jenna has a death grip on his arm. “You’re going to tell me who the young man is bonded to.”

“No, I won’t,” Vilandra says with narrowed eyes. He winds a hand in her hair and yanks her head back so she can’t look away from him.

“Yes, you will,” he states. “Or another of your ladies will face the same fate as dear Tasia.”

She spits at him and he laughs again. “Tell me who he is bound to.” She snarls wordlessly at him and he releases his hold on her.

Vilandra looks at him and Alex knows his eyes are wide and panicked, he doesn’t have the first idea how to block her out, to keep her from telling who is on the other end of his bond.

Her eyes go dark and he can feel her press at his mind, just like he could feel Rath when he did the same thing.

She knows, he can tell by the slight widening of her eyes and then her mind falls away and Alex staggers back only kept on his feet by Jenna’s hands.

“It’s no one of consequence,” Vilandra says dismissively, her eyes are focused on him though and Alex wonders if, even though he can’t feel her, if she’s still in his mind. Sifting through private memories and moments.

“A name Vilandra.”

“I don’t know all those that evacuated, it’s just a man,” she snaps, “they’re not even together anymore, he just hasn’t broken the bond yet.”

She’s lying to him, there’s a moment where Ryder closes his eyes and the relief etched into every line of his face is so visible that Alex isn’t sure how the other man doesn’t know that whatever side Ryder is on it isn’t apparently his.

“Well then,” the man claps his hands. “Ryder I guess you can introduce your brother to the task we’ve brought him here for then.”

 

********************************

 

Rosa is a bright, sweet girl with a soft smile and quick wit. Zan approves of her immediately, she’s a good match for their daughter.

He just wishes that it weren’t today when Isobel has brought her out to meet him, he’s left Michael in his room staring at a phone that won’t ring and he’s not got the first idea on how to help him.

“Alex is missing?” Isobel repeats faintly, and Rosa squeezes her fingers, using her other hand to brush tears from her eyes. “Is Michael…”

“Your brother is upstairs,” Zan says, Rath is in the kitchen with Tyrel discussing plans even though there’s nothing for them to do.

Not yet anyway.

Isobel nods and stands, tugging on Rosa’s hand and leading her towards the stairs.

Zan sits there for a moment and breathes, its second nature in times like these to reach out to reaffirm the bonds.

Rath’s, whole and healthy as it always has been.

Vilandra’s bond is… not tattered and worn any longer, it’s still there… he examines it closer and can see where Vilandra is attempting to repair the damage, trying to undo things long past done.

He should break it, should be done with it and her need to be the only thing in his life.

Rath is his constant, just as Vilandra had been once, and she knew that when they were children growing up in each other’s pockets. He’s not sure when that changed.

When her eyes started narrowing at Rath in anger, when she would spit vile awful things at one of the most important people in his life save for her.

Rath appears in the doorway, Tyrel nowhere in sight.

“Your face is doing something odd,” he says.

Zan tilts his head to the side as if it’ll help him study the bond closer.

“Vilandra is doing something with the bond,” Zan says and Rath narrows his eyes then comes to sit next to him, angling his body towards him and cupping his face in his hands. Tilting their foreheads together Zan closes his eyes and opens his mind.

Rath is the only one he would trust to do this, he wouldn’t even trust Vilandra in his mind like this.

And he can tell when Rath sees when Zan is feeling, the bond that was tattered, not tattered anymore. Vilandra is putting a lot of energy into repairing it, trying to anyways there is only so much she can do unless Zan starts mending it on his side.

Rath touches the bond and Zan flinches slightly waiting for Vilandra’s bond to recoil, to spark at him as it’s done in the past… but it doesn’t come, Vilandra isn’t fighting Rath’s touch on the bond, in fact…

“She’s screaming for help,” Rath says softly, confusion in his voice. Like he doesn’t understand why Vilandra needs help at all, she got what she wanted.

They fled their planet, they left it for Vilandra and Kivar to reap the rewards of their betrayal even if they would never be able to sit upon his throne.

Why would she need their help?

“I should just break it,” Zan says and he really didn’t think there was any more of his heart left that Vilandra hadn’t already broken. “Before she manages to repair it any further, it’s a trap of some sort and I’m not going to just allow her to drag us into it by declaring falsehoods...”

“You know it doesn’t work that way,” Rath murmurs and he pulls back out of his head, Zan feels just the loss until he opens his eyes and Rath is right there in front of him. “She can’t fake her way through repairing the bond. She would have to…” and Zan presses his fingers against Rath’s lips to stop the words.

Vilandra doesn’t love him, she screamed those words at him as she threw Kivar in his face and replaced him with that man in her bed.

But there’s a bond in his head that she’s trying to fix, there’s her echo screaming at him to help her and he doesn’t know what to do about any of those things besides hide his face in Rath’s neck and let Rath shelter him for a time until they figure out what to do.

 

********************************

 

Michael is huddled with his back against his bed, hands wrapped around the cell phone staring at it as if he can make Alex respond to him if only he wishes for it hard enough.

Isobel doesn’t know what to do for her brother, so she sits next to him, lays her head against his arm and watches the screen of his phone stay dark.

Rosa is sitting on his other side, though she doesn’t lay her head against his shoulder. Instead she plays with the rings on her fingers.

“Alex is strong,” she says absently, like she’s reminding herself of this fact. She twists a ring, slides it off then back into place. “Did you know I was the one who taught him how to paint his nails?”

Michael makes a noise next to her and Rosa takes it as the encouragement it’s likely meant to be to continue talking.

“I used to take him shopping with me and he’d pick out the color and I’d buy it so no one would tattle to his dad, then we’d go back to the Crashdown and hide in the back and we’d paint our nails and talk about boys and girls,” Isobel turns her head and Rosa is smiling faintly at her fingers.

“He was the first person besides Maria that I ever admitted that I was gay to,” she says, “and he used to tell me all about this boy at school that was _so beautiful_ , he had such the crush and the boy didn’t even know that he existed, he never said it was you but since you were the only one who really hung out with the Evan’s twins it wasn’t hard to figure out from the context clues.”

Michael laughs wetly, when Isobel looks at him there’s tears sliding down his cheeks.

“I just want him to come home,” Michael says.

“You want him to come home in one piece and breathing and alive and running towards you like one of those corny romance movies,” Rosa says, both Michael and Isobel look at her in confusion. “Be very specific the universe can be a bitch about the details.”

 

********************************

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right... so...
> 
> New chapter of Family Ties on 8/16'ish, and next chapter of Moving Forward on 8/19.
> 
> I'm also starting to map out the next story in this universe, would there be any interest in a prequel Zan/Rath story? With the revelations of this chapter (which I wrote like a month ago so I'm already past it) I'm itching to actually write their backstory, and is it wrong that I want to write an AU of my AU where there was never a Kivar and it's all Zan/Rath/Mara/Vilandra fun times? And their kids grow up happy and healthy and I'm not quite sure when or where the humans come in, but... you know space travel?


	17. Chapter 17

**Moving Forward 17/?**

 

Isobel and Rosa are squeezed together in a chair, arms looped around one another and Michael can see the way that Liz is trying and failing to not stare at them.

It’s hard not to, the happiness radiating off them would be nauseating and he would hate them if it weren’t Isobel and Rosa who have been through so much and deserve more than most people to be happy for a change.

Max is in his room changing and he can see his dads, Bren and Tare with heads bent over the table trying to come up with a plan.

Not that it’s any going to do any good, because they don’t have the first idea of where Alex was even meeting his brother let alone where they would have been taken after.

Michael links fingers that haven’t stopped shaking since they heard the news together and tries to focus on where Isobel and Rosa are glowing at each other instead of his own mind where he can’t seem to stop panicking.

“Kyle is here,” Liz says with a small measure of confusion and she stands and walks to the door, Michael letting out a sigh because of course he is.

He joins Liz at the door and watches Kyle get out of his car, then an older woman gets out of the passengers’ side and another woman from the backseat.

“Is someone here?” Rath asks from the doorway to the kitchen.

“Kyle and I think that’s Alex’s mom,” Liz says, she opens the door when Kyle reaches the front steps. “What are you doing here?”

“She insisted I bring her out,” Kyle waves a hand at the woman who _is_ actually Alex’s mom, Michael recognizes her from the few pictures of her that Alex had. She’s older of course but doesn’t look much different from those pictures.

“You must be Michael,” she says kindly, she wraps him in warm arms, kisses his cheek. “It’s going to be fine,” she murmurs in his ear.

The other woman follows slowly up the steps, looking around carefully like she’s searching for someone and she enters the room haltingly. Like she’s not sure of her welcome.

“Tasia?” Bren says from the kitchen, and he sounds shocked.

“Bren,” she mumbles and then stumbles a step, Bren shooting forward and gathering her up in his arms, her feet aren’t touching the ground Michael notes. “Bren,” she sobs and he lets her down and kisses her.

“Well that’s one problem solved,” Alex’s mom says, she sounds pleased with the outcome. “Now let’s talk about how we get my boys back.”

 

********************************

 

“I’m not actually sure what Ryder is up to,” Alex’s mother, whose name is Nita says, “he’s not too old for me to put him over my knee though when I find them.”

She sounds very cross which Rath completely understands, if one of his children had put the others in danger in the same manner that Alex’s brother has he’d likely be trying to determine a suitable punishment as well.

“Alex sent me the coordinates for the meet,” she says, and she taps some numbers into the computer that she’s brought in with her. “Of course, no one was there when we got there, we did find this though,” she pulls a small metal cylinder out of her jacket pocket.

Rath already knows what it is though he hands it to Tare for confirmation.

“So they drugged them and moved them to a secondary location,” Rath says, he stares at the laptop screen, there’s a slideshow of pictures going, photos of the bar where Alex, Ms. Cameron and the Sergeant were meeting his brother.

No signs of blood, no signs of any sort of brawl. But they would have been incapacitated, they wouldn’t have even had time to put up a struggle.

“I should have insisted that Alex meet me first so I could bug him,” she mutters, “You always think about these things after the fact, hindsight is a motherfucker.”

“Why take Jenna and the Sergeant though?” Max asks, Liz is standing next to him and if she seems off put that he’s currently displaying so much visible worry about another woman she doesn’t say anything or seem horribly concerned.

“Insurance, and probably as a way to keep Alex under control, they threaten one or both of them with harm Alex does what they want so that doesn’t happen,” Nita says matter-of-factly.

“Do you have any idea what your son could have been up to?”

“Which one?” she asks, “Alex is working on destroying everything his father held dear and Ryder… I don’t have any clue what Ryder is doing except he rescued that woman out there from somewhere and sent her to me and then sent me an encrypted file to get to Alex that now I can’t actually do anything _with_ because he took Alex before I actually got the file _to_ him.”

 

********************************

 

He recognizes her of course, Vilandra trusted very few people and most of those people were her ladies.

Tasia was one of them, and now she’s here sitting huddled against Bren’s side and he’s holding her but also having a silent conversation with Tyrel.

“Tasia?” Zan says softly, as gently as he can but the last he saw of her she was with Vilandra if she’s not now…

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, your highness,” she cries, “We didn’t know, we would have…”

“Didn’t know what?” he asks.

“He’s a shade,” she says through tears. “We didn’t even know anything was wrong until we were on the ship following you and he finally let her go.”

Isobel makes a noise, and when Zan glances over at her Max and Michael have her wrapped up between them and Isobel looks like she might be sick.

Rath sits down next to him, folding his hand in his own and squeezing tightly.

“How long? Do you know?” he asks and he’s sure he already knows the answer, it would have been about their sixteenth year when Vilandra started suddenly spitting vitriol at Rath.

“We tried… Vilandra could never pinpoint exactly when she stopped being aware of…” Tasia tries.

“It would have been about a year after we bonded,” Rath cuts her off and Tasia casts her eyes down but nods her agreement. “How complete was his control? What does she actually remember?”

“It was almost complete, she remembers snatches of things, we think whatever he could use to torment her the most with.”

“How about now? Does he _still_ control her?”

Tasia shakes her head, “now that she knows she can keep him out so he doesn’t even really try to anymore except as a game; she’s been actively trying to murder him or escape every time he takes her out of stasis so he doesn’t take her out very often anymore, she’s trapped there, we were all trapped there.”

“How did you get free?” Rath asks, “You very obviously are no longer trapped there.”

“She tried to kill him,” Tasia whispers, “and she… the guards found them before he was dead, and when he was healed,” her voice breaks. “He doesn’t punish her directly anymore, she doesn’t seem to care about her own wellbeing, so instead he…” she twines her fingers together and huddles in on herself. “He punishes us, her ladies instead. There are only three of us left and she tried to kill him, so he… was going to kill me as punishment for her crime.”

“But you got free.”

Tasia shakes her head, “he tasked Ryder with killing me and instead he brought me to safety. I don’t think Vilandra knows that I live still. Only Stass and Aria remain with her, and when they’re gone…”

He hears the plea even though Tasia doesn’t speak the words.

_Help her._

 

********************************

 

“So what exactly am I here for?” Alex asks as Ryder moves down the hallway, he’s hyper aware of the guards at his back with guns that are looking twitchy enough to shoot him if he sneezes.

Ryder doesn’t answer him, just pulls him into a room, waves a key card at the door and says, “I’ve got it guys,” as the guards are shut out on the other side.

“Look,” Ryder starts, he drags his hands through his hair, when he looks back at him his hair is in disarray and he looks so much like the brother that Alex used to follow around that it hurts a little. “If I’d known about the bond I wouldn’t have brought you here.”

Alex just looks at him with what he hopes is a faintly disbelieving face.

“I wouldn’t, there’s a lot riding on this and we really didn’t need the delay.”

“So why don’t you share what’s happening and we’ll figure it out.”

“What do you know about why the Antarians are here?” Ryder asks.

“Not much, civil war on their planet I guess, I haven’t really asked for specifics besides what I’ve learned on my own.”

“You’re bonded to one of them, you don’t even know why they’re _here_?”

“He was seven when he came here, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t remember much of anything that would be of use,” Alex says evenly.

Ryder breathes sharply, “the man out there, Kivar he incited a war designed for him to take the throne of Antar, they all fled, here to escape him, their King among them. He followed them here somehow, but he hasn’t actually managed to find the people he needs…”

“What exactly did you bring me here to do?” Alex asks suspiciously. He really doesn’t like the direction this is going.

“He has a computer program,” Ryder starts, “it’s currently feeding him possible locations on where the people he’s looking for could be. Most of them have been Project Shepherd sites that you’ve already cleared, or dad had already consolidated down. He wanted you out of the way, but he also wants you to fine tune the program, so it’ll tell him _exactly_ where they’re currently located or being relocated to.”

“Yeah no, you could have called ahead, I’m not helping you help him,” Alex states.

“Jesus Fuck Alex, I didn’t bring you here to _help_ him, I brought you here to help me _stop_ him. I’m going to get you into the system and you’re going to shut it down, give it a virus, tell it to tell him that they’re not on the fucking planet anymore, I don’t really care. Otherwise we’ve got days until he knows where they are.”

“And what are you going to be doing while I’m doing this?”

“I’m going to be setting your friends on some guards, getting some pilots to their space ships and making sure a queen doesn't _actually_ give into her homicidal rage and kill this asshole before we can get out of here.”

Alex blinks at him, “that’s all? Are you going to pencil in some time to take a nap too? Because you look fucking exhausted.”

Ryder grins at him and Alex rolls his eyes as his brother pulls him into a hug. “I missed you, Alex.”

“Whatever, I stand by the you know you could have just called thing, the kidnapping was a bit over the top,” Alex says as he pats his brother on the back. “And if you really missed me you’d get me a pair of pants and some boots.”

 

********************************

 

Nita leaves her laptop open on the kitchen table, so Michael can see that her screensaver is full of pictures of Alex and his brothers.

Most of them are pictures that Michael has never seen before, a lot of them are Alex in uniform. He looks grim faced and solemn in all of them.

The woman who is worried about Alex is a direct contradiction to the one he thought she was, the one that left Alex behind with his father when she left.

“He’s going to be okay,” she says when she slides back into her seat, he looks away as she keys in her password. He doesn’t know what she’s doing on the computer, none of the programs she has open look familiar.

“He’s strong,” Michael says, he reaches for the bond and it’s still healthy, still in one piece. He wants to wrap it up in bubble wrap and a steel container, so nothing will happen to it.

So nothing will happen to _him_.

He rests his elbows against the table and covers his face with his hands. He’s so tired, but he’s worried if he sleeps that something will happen, and he won’t wake up in time to do anything.

Her fingers tap against the keyboard and he keeps his eyes focused on the bond.

“You should sleep,” she says and he shakes his head.

“You left him with his dad,” he mumbles and her fingers stop moving on the keyboard.

“I did,” she says.

“I don’t…” _understand_ he thinks, “you have pictures of him, you _seem_ to care about him, you’re his _mom_ and his dad...”

“Was a piece of shit,” she says and he looks up at her, at the venom in her voice and she sighs, pushes the laptop closed and away. “I tried to leave Jesse three times before I finally managed to do it.”

“What…”

“The first time I made it to the car with Alex and Ryder, he stopped me in the driveway and he said all the pretty words and made promises and,” she snorts, “I believed them because what the fuck else was I supposed to do? I had four kids, two of them under the age of 10, Alex had just barely turned 2. Ryder was just starting school.”

“The second time I didn’t even make it out of the house, he broke my arm, gave me a black eye and he might have killed me if the boys hadn’t been in the house,” she rubs her fingers together. “That was the first time I talked to Jim about what was happening, and he kept telling me that Jesse wouldn’t do that, that he was a good man, his best friend, his best friend wasn’t _capable_ of that,” she shakes her head. “I didn’t talk to Jim anymore about what was happening in the house.”

“The third time,” she laughs harshly, “the third time Alex and Ryder packed my bag for me, sat me down and Alex told me I had to go, told me ‘he’s going to kill you if you stay mom’ and Ryder couldn’t even look at me.”

“How old were they?” Michael asks.

“Alex had just turned 7, Ryder was 11. You can’t tell me anything I haven’t already told myself, I left my _babies_ in that house with that man because I thought there was no way he would _ever_ lay a hand on one of them,” she looks at him and Michael knows she knows what Alex went through in that house, what Ryder and likely even the other two went through, “I was wrong.”

 

********************************

 

Zan is standing at the window of their bedroom, arms crossed over his chest and Rath doesn’t need to be _in_ his mind to know that Zan is going through every instance that he interacted with Vilandra from the time they met to the time that they fled Antar to determine where he should have figured out for himself that something was not right.

“Stop that,” Rath says, he wraps his arms around him pulling him against his chest. Zan is rigid in his arms, “stop,” Rath says again, he brushes his lips against his cheek. “There’s no way we could have known.”

“We should have,” Zan insists, “she may not have loved you when you left but she wasn’t spitting vile words at or about you either. We even talked about how a bond between the three of us would work, if it _could_ work while you were gone that first year.”

Rath doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t think he really needs to. There was no way he could bond to Vilandra, he didn’t _love_ her for one, not the way he would need to in order for the bond to even be able to be initiated.

He didn’t desire her either, not the way that he did Zan, and he’d thought for a time that maybe he’d only desire Zan or men and that he’d never take a woman to his bed.

But then there was Mara. So maybe given enough time he could have desired her.

“There would have had to have been a trauma in order for him to be able to even get a foothold into her mind,” Rath says.

“I don’t remember anything,” Zan shakes his head. “I’ve been trying to remember that year you were gone, but I was in classes the same as everyone, so was she, there’s nothing that I can remember.”

“Then it was something we weren’t privy to, something that Kivar would have made _sure_ we never found out.”

Zan sighs and Rath loosens his arms so he can turn, he loops one arm around Rath’s neck and leans close. His eyes are closed and Rath can just about feel his torment.

“He was in her mind, which means that when I made love to my wife he was in our bed with us, how do I even know that she wanted to be there in the first place? How do I know that woman that I married actually _wanted_ to be married to me, to be bound to me in the first place?”

“I’ll tell you the same thing I told our daughter some time ago, even though I shouldn’t need to. He couldn’t bond with _you_ through _her_ mind, that bond is _yours_ and it is _hers_ and it’s the two of _yours_ alone,” he kisses him softly and Zan’s lips move sweetly under his. “She’s fixing it now, or trying to, so I think that should be answer enough to her intentions.”

Zan presses fingers to his cheek and smiles against his lips, “I love you, you know this, right?”

“I am very sure of my place in your heart and in your life,” Rath says with a grin.

“Good, because if we do manage to save her, and we do manage to bring her home, then I need to know that you aren’t going to try to leave us when she’s here.”

“I can manage many things, but giving you up has never been one of them.”

 

********************************

 

They lay in their bed together and Zan thinks this is peace

Rath inside him as Zan tries to urge him to harder, faster, _more_ and Rath instead moves at the slow steady rhythm that he knows Zan really wants.

He muffles his moans and gasps against Rath’s shoulder and Rath groans into his hair and he wants to come immediately and wants to come never.

When he does it’s like a punch to his stomach and he tries to cling even tighter to Rath, teeth biting into skin as he jerks and Rath sobs out something that sounds like ‘love’ and comes. Pressed against him and it should be too much, but Zan never wants it to end.

When Rath lifts his head his pupils are blown wide and Zan thinks he will always be the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.

The press of their lips together results in a lazy kiss that they’re both too exhausted to deepen, Rath noses at his cheek and bites his ear as they lay there together in comfortable silence.

He runs a hand against warm skin, no intent, just wanting to touch and Rath shivers against him.

He tries not to dwell on the space on the other side of Rath where Mara should be pressed up against him and will never be again. He tries not to think on the space on the other side of _him_ where Vilandra should be curled up against him and might actually be in the future.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for mentions of past sexual assault in the last section of this chapter.

**Moving Forward 18/?**

 

It takes Alex all of an hour to figure out the programming and turn its parameters to tracking something completely different. He also sets it so that even it _were_ to inadvertently set a target on Roswell, it never would.

As far as the program is concerned Roswell, New Mexico does not exist.

At all.

Once that is done he navigates around the traps built into the system because he’s nosy like that, he disarms the dead man switch programmed into the new leg he didn’t ask for and he sends a message to his mom through one of the forum groups he knows she monitors.

She’s probably fifty feet beyond freaking out, and he’d really rather she not pull a gun on Ryder the minute they get out of here.

Ryder must have come back at some point because there’s pants folded next to him on the table, with a pair of boots sitting right on top of them when he finally manages to extricate his brain from the system.

There’s also a woman in the room with him and he thinks he jumps a foot when he turns around to stand, still not accustomed to feeling _two_ feet on the ground instead of one and not having to balance himself to make sure both feet are stable under him; and sees her sitting there with her back to a wall watching him.

“Uh, hi?” he says and they’re the only two in the room, he realizes when she arches a perfectly arched eyebrow at him that this is Vilandra.

She looks much less homicidal since the last time he saw her, she’s still in the shorts and t-shirt she was in when she was dragged into the cell they were being held in.

Her feet are no longer bare though, she has a pair of plain white utilitarian shoes on.

“Hello,” she says, calm voice with a lilting accent that screams ‘I’m not from around here’.

He glances around and there is no sign of Ryder, just him, the computer system, the pants and boots and Vilandra.

“He’s trying to keep me away from Kivar until it’s time,” Vilandra says, she has a knife in her hands, ornate and delicate. “He’s worried that I’ll kill him before he’s had time to get all of his pieces in play and ruin his plans.”

“And he thought this was the best place to stash you?”

“He told Kivar that you do your best programming in the nude, and Kivar apparently spent a very long time in my body when I was with my husband,” her voice breaks, and she pauses, closes her eyes and lets out a long breath, “he very much does not want to see another male naked so he’ll not come in until Ryder tells him you are finished or he gets frustrated enough to overcome that desire to check on your progress himself.”

She twists the knife between her fingers, Alex would say something but there is something in her movements that screams this is something that she is used to doing. “Imagine my surprise when he brings me in here and you are clothed still.”

“Sorry to disappoint,” Alex rolls his eyes and sets the boots aside, grinning when he sees that Ryder had shoved socks into one of them. He pulls the pants on then sits back down to tug on the socks and then the boots.

When he’s done he glances at the computer screens that are doing exactly what he’s asked them to do and then back at Vilandra.

“Do we happen to have a time frame?”

Vilandra shrugs, “soon I’d imagine, Ryder is anxious to get out of here.”

“How, uh, good of friends are you with my brother?”

She laughs at him, a small delighted sound that makes him smile in response, though her face is still so sad and lost he’s not sure if he should be smiling.

“He’s a friend I’d guess. He’s not a lover if that’s what you’re imagining. I have enough worries about Zan accepting me back and whether Rath will be able to forgive me, if I were to take someone else to my bed I would effectively be signing away any chance of getting my family back in some form.”

With nothing else to do, what he wouldn’t give for a portable drive to be able to take even _some_ of the data that he’s sure is on the computers, he goes to sit in front of Vilandra. Keeping enough of a distance away so that if she decides to get physical with knife he can stop her.

“That’s pretty,” he nods his head at it, so she knows that he sees it and is aware of its presence.

“Rath gave it to me on my tenth birthday,” she says, she holds it in her hand, showing it to him. “He gave one to me and one to Zan, had our names engraved in them and everything,” she smiles at it and he thinks he knows how she means to end Kivar if given the chance.

“So we’d each have something to defend ourselves with when he wasn’t there.”

 

 

********************************

 

He doesn’t sleep, he does lay in his bed with his eyes closed feigning sleep for long enough that Max finally drifts off.

Then he stares at the ceiling and tries not to continually be pressing on the bond demanding that Alex find some way to communicate through it with him.

His cellphone sits darks and uncommunicative on the table between his and Max’s beds.

When he finally thinks he’s going to drive himself crazy laying there he pushes the covers aside and goes down to the living room where Zan is already on the couch, he hears movement out in the kitchen and his dad comes out with two cups in hand.

“I can make another,” he offers and Michael shakes his head as Rath hands one of the cups off, sets the other down and then pulls Michael into a hug. Before releasing him to sit on the other end of the couch.

He pulls his knees up to his chest and feels young and scared.

Rath sits close to Zan and leaning into his side, Zan holds him close with one arm, pressing his lips to Rath’s temple.

Michael wants that with Alex, wants to sit on a couch with him and hold him in his arms. Instead he wraps his arms around his legs and stares blankly at the TV that is showing some inane cartoon that he can’t hear because they haven’t turned the volume up.

“So what does it mean?” he asks quietly and Zan makes a querying noise.

“The lady that Alex’s mom brought said that he was a shade, what does that mean?” he thinks it means that whoever this Kivar person is, he did to Max and Isobel’s mom what Noah had done to Isobel.

“Shades are rare,” Rath says, he shifts so he’s facing Michael and Zan presses his face against his back. “The ones that I’ve known have been some of the best spies I’ve come into contact with. Even though I don’t agree with their methods they normally operate under a very strict code of conduct, their targets are typically high value and they only use their talents to gain information and nothing more… what Kivar did…”

“I think Noah was one of those,” Michael says softly. “What he did to Isobel, it sounds like what…”

“I agree,” Rath nods, he reaches for Zan’s hand and Zan links their fingers together.

“Does that mean she’ll come here? If we find her?” Michael isn’t sure how he feels about that, he doesn’t seem to have any memories of Vilandra, and the ones that Max and Isobel have of her haven’t painted her in the best light.

But then it seems like maybe they might not _have_ any memories of Vilandra being their mom, only Kivar wearing their mothers’ body.

“She’ll come here,” Rath says and Michael can see Zan’s fingers tighten on his dads. “If what Tasia says is true, then she is a victim just like your sister was and we’ll do everything we can do to help her recover.”

“I don’t want her to replace mom,” Michael says in a whisper and he feels like crying, like screaming. Why can they save her and they couldn’t save _his_ mom.

Why?

Rath makes a sound and he pulls Michael against him, arms tight around him and he’s so numb that he feels like crying but can’t. He can feel Zan moving to the other side of him, and then he wraps his arms around him as well.

“She won’t,” Rath promises.

“No one could replace your mother,” Zan whispers into his hair. “She was beautiful and brave and… she’ll never be replaced.”

Michael makes a sound and Rath makes a comforting noise in return. Zan strokes his head, then moves again so he’s sitting on the coffee table that Michael thinks might not actually be able to support his weight.

He takes Rath’s hand in his own and then lays the other over top of Michael’s. He looks from one to the other of them, the expression on his face so serious.

“Vilandra will not replace Mara,” he says, he makes it sound like a proclamation. Like on this day he declares, Michael stares at him because he’s not sure he’s ever heard Zan’s voice sound like this.

Like he is a King and these are his orders.

“If we can rescue her then she’ll come here and we’ll do what we can to make her healthy, and maybe that means at the end I break my bond with her so she and I can move past it, maybe that means the bond stays and we figure out what that means for all of us. But she _will_ not replace Mara, Mara will always be your mother and she’ll be _your_ bondmate. Accepting Vilandra into our home does _not_ mean giving Mara up.”

Michael nods slowly and Zan leans forward, pressing a kiss to his forehead. When Michael looks over his dad is staring at Zan.

“I would never ask you to…” Zan says and Rath shakes his head. “I loved her as well you know; just because I couldn’t bond to her didn’t mean that I didn’t love her.”

“I know,” Rath says, his voice sounds thick but when Michael looks at his face he’s not crying. “And I would never ask you to break your bond with Vilandra if you didn’t want to, if it wasn’t something the both of you wanted.”

“I know,” Zan smiles gently at him, he lifts their joined hands to his lips and presses them to Rath’s knuckles. “We were all _friends_ once upon a time, maybe if nothing else, someday in the future, you can at least be friends with her again?”

“Maybe.”

 

********************************

 

The Captain’s mother arrives at the house in the early morning hours, the sun is barely peaking it’s head out and she’s at the door looking far too awake for the hour.

“Alex left me a message,” she says and moves past him into the house. Michael is still sleeping on the couch under Zan’s watchful eyes so Rath leads her into the kitchen where she sets her bag down and then eyes the coffee.

Rath just gestures to where the cups are located and sits himself down at the table with his own cup while she pours herself one and then sits across from him.

“So a message?” he prompts.

“Yeah, there’s a bunch of forum groups that he knows I hit and he left a message in one of them. Short but sweet, he’s okay, Ryder’s okay, nothing else,” she makes a face. “I mean I didn’t expect him to give me coordinates to his location or anything, but I figured he’d give me something to work with.”

“He likely doesn’t know where they are,” Rath says.

“Alex is a smart boy, if he was able to send me a message undetected then he also knows how to pull his location out as well…” she sounds annoyed which is amusing.

“He’s not going to break his heart again, is he?” she asks, and he doesn’t need her to indicate who she’s speaking about.

“No,” Rath says and she nods then grins at him.

“Good.”

 

********************************

 

“You can sleep if you want,” Alex offers when Vilandra’s head drops one time to many and startles her awake.

“No, no I’m fine,” Vilandra insists and she rubs her hands against her eyes, like it’ll wake her up.

“We don’t even know when whatever Ryder is up to is going to happen, you should be okay to close your eyes for a half hour.”

Vilandra just looks at him and shakes her head.

“He knows by now that I’m not where I’m meant to be, which means he’ll have his men actively searching for me,” she says. “I’m afraid if I sleep that he’ll be able to gain entry into…” and she taps her fingers against her head.

“You can’t just not sleep until we get out of here,” Alex says.

“He kept me out of stasis before, at the beginning, after we first realized that he was a shade and what he’d done, he wasn’t aware we knew so he didn’t think to take precautions. It took me a long while to figure out how to keep him out and sometimes I’d wake in the mornings and he would be in my bed. There would be marks on my skin and I could feel him on me and in me and he’d touch me like he was meant to be there, when I _know_ I never offered myself to him,” tears fill her eyes and she brushes them away.

Alex doesn’t know what to do for her. He’s not a therapist and the things she’s alluding to sounds an awful lot like sexual assault.

“You didn’t want him there?” he asks.

She shakes her head, “There have been exactly two men that I would welcome into my bed, _he_ was never one of them.”

“I’m…”

“He’s touched me in ways that only Zan was meant to,” Vilandra says, her voice cracks and she’s sobbing but Alex can tell by the stiffness of her shoulders that she would not accept comfort. “Or Rath but he never wanted me that way. I should have been able to be stronger, I should have been able to keep him out of my head and out of my body.”

“What he did to you,” Alex says, “we call that rape here.”

“I never said no, I should have been able to say no.”

“Because it sounds like he never gave you the opportunity to even try, you didn’t want him there and he made damn sure that you didn’t have any way to resist him.”

“He doesn’t do that anymore, not now that I can keep him out, but we’re so close to being free, I can’t go back to Zan with him on my skin,” Vilandra covers her face with her hands as she sobs.

Alex would offer her comfort but he’s not sure she would welcome it, the door opening saves him from having to figuring it out.

“My lady…” a woman ducks in, door closing behind her. “Why is she crying?” she demands harshly.

“We were just talking Aria, he’s fine,” Vilandra manages a wan smile, the woman kneels next to her, rubbing her thumbs across Vilandra’s cheeks and murmuring softly at her.

“I’m fine,” Vilandra says, she touches Aria’s hand. “We were just talking on bad memories.”

“You don’t need to think on that anymore, my lady,” Aria says softly.

“I’ll think on it until we’re free, it serves to remind me to be ever strong, ever vigilant,” Vilandra pushes herself to her feet, knife back in her hand. “Is it time?”

“It is, the alarms will start soon, and we want to be moving when they do.”

Alex comes to his feet as well. “I hope one of you know the way.”

 

********************************


	19. Chapter 19

**Moving Forward 19/?**

 

The worst part is not knowing what’s going on. She doesn’t like that, doesn’t like feeling like she has no control over her life.

She remembers liking surprises when she was a kid, just one more thing that Noah robbed from her.

Now she just wants to flip to the end of the book, so she knows how the story ends.

But she doesn’t know the ending, and she can tell Michael ‘he’s going to be okay’, tell him that everything is going to be fine.

She’s not sure she believes that though.

“He’s going to be fine,” Rosa says, _she_ makes it sound believable. Like she can see the future and _knows_ that Alex will return safe and sound and Michael is shaking into pieces for absolutely no reason. “ _They’re_ going to be fine.”

And now there’s their mother to factor into the situation.

A mother that’s been trapped in a nightmare cycle reminiscent of what Noah had done to Isobel for likely more years then they’ve been alive and Isobel’s heart breaks for the mother she thought she was free to hate only to find she’s been a victim this entire time.

 

********************************

 

They’ve been moving steadily through the hallways, ducking out of the hallway into rooms to hide when they come upon others that likely are not going to be friendly towards them.

“Almost there,” Aria says just as the alarms start and Alex hears a loud noise that sounds like an explosion and the hallway shakes.

“Did something just blow up?” he asks as Aria pushes at him and Vilandra to keep moving in front of her.

“Vilandra!” the bellow comes from behind them and there’s no warning for the force that propels them through the air.

In theory he knows the Antarians have abilities; healing, telekinesis, telepathy and a whole slew of others. He never thought he’d see them in use.

He hits the wall hard, and he lays there stunned, trying to regain his equilibrium. When he blinks blackness out of his eyes it’s to the feeling of hands on his arm and when the world abruptly snaps back into focus he can see Jenna in front of him, all in black, gun in hand, mouth moving though he can’t hear anything she’s saying.

“I can’t…” his head is throbbing, and he presses shaking fingers to his forehead and when he pulls them back sees blood.

“Are you okay?” she mouths slowly staring directly at him; his ears are ringing and he presses his hands against his head.

“Alex?” she says and he hears her that time, hears a never ending rumbling whining sound that he can’t place.

“Where?” he glances around and sees Aria still crumpled on the ground and a few feet away he can see Kivar holding Vilandra against the wall, one hand around her throat, the other gripping the wrist that she has her knife held in.

“You think you can just leave?” he’s snarling at her and she’s struggling against his hold. He squeezes her wrist and twists, forcing her to drop the knife. “You think that’s an _option_ for you?”

“Help her,” Alex says, waving his hand at Aria and using the wall to come to his feet.

“We need to get out of here,” Jenna hisses even as she goes to her.

“Not without Vilandra,” Alex says, he won’t be the one to explain to Michael and Max and Isobel why he couldn’t save another of their mothers… not when he can.

“Let her go,” he says as he uses the wall to move closer to them.

Kivar glares at him, “I gave you back your leg and this is the thank you I receive?”

“I never asked you to,” Alex mutters. “Let her go.”

“No, I’m not quite _done_ with her yet,” Kivar says and he drags his tongue up the side of her face. Her face twists in revulsion and she begins struggling with new determination.

Alex grabs his arms and tries to pull him away, giving her enough distance that Vilandra manages to jam her knee into his genitals. He gasps and flinches back, allowing Alex to drag Vilandra behind him.

“You think he’ll accept you back? You’re tainted goods now; do you think they’ll ever be able to _trust_ you again? Do you think he even _needs_ you? Rumors abound that he’s been reunited with Rath, do you think they ever _needed_ you as anything more than a brood mare?” Kivar snarls as he straightens, and his eyes are dark and his lips are thin.

“They were my family, and you took them from me,” Vilandra says as she edges away from Alex, he knows what she means to do and as she darts forward he grabs her arm, swinging her back towards Jenna and Aria. Kivar moves forward and Alex widens his stance, arms coming up ready to defend them though he knows it’s fruitless against an alien with whatever abilities Kivar has.

He should have made Jenna give him her gun, this could already be done and over with.

The noise of a weapon being fired is startling, and Kivar stumbles backwards, shock written over his face, blood beginning to stain his shirt as he falls to the ground. When Alex glances back he can see Vilandra with Jenna’s gun in her hands.

“Rath also taught us how to fire weapons as well, so we could protect ourselves,” Vilandra says faintly. “I think I would prefer he protect me from now on, I don’t seem to be very good at protecting myself.”

“I’d say you did okay,” Jenna says and Vilandra manages a small smile in her direction and holds the weapon out to her.

“What do we do with him?” Alex asks, gesturing towards where Kivar is not moving, he knows it makes him a horrible person, but he very much hopes he’s dead. Regardless he doesn’t think there will be any healing in his future.

“We should take him,” Vilandra says, she skirts Kivar’s body and takes her knife back in hand, “As proof that he’s no longer a threat.”

 

********************************

 

They’re meditating, the children need it and Rath would be lying to himself if he said he didn’t.

They arrange themselves in the usual place and it’s almost second nature to flit from mind to mind as they breathe.

If time ever slows down, if things go back to normal he needs to set aside time to have them meditate with their bondmates so he can see the bonds in both minds.

He really does think that at some point the humans on the other side of his children’s bonds will be able to sense them the same the same as they do.

The tap at the door comes when they are barely half an hour in and he lets out a breath and opens his eyes in irritation.

Liz is standing there, and she looks both shaken and horribly apologetic at the same time. Her phone is pressed to her ear.

“Liz?” Max asks quietly.

“There’s something happening,” Liz says distractedly and leaves, Rath comes to his feet and on either side of him Zan and the children are rising as well.

The television is on when they get to the living room, volume turned up and the newscaster is babbling at a high rate of speed making her virtually incomprehensible.

“What has happened?” Zan asks as he comes up behind him, arm going around his waist as he leans into him.

Rath stares at the television, he thinks maybe his eyes are playing tricks on him. He’s still dreaming, tucked into bed with Zan curled around him.

“Is that a fucking _space ship_?” Michael asks, his tone is disbelieving.

“That’s my warship,” Rath says softly, _his_ ship, the Vorimir in the air. He would recognize her hull and the curve of her metal anywhere.

There’s a loud explosion on the television, the picture shakes, and there are flashes of fire and smoke below where the Vorimir is hovering and then a second ship appears.

“Holy shit,” Max mutters.

“That is the Martel,” Zan murmurs and Rath nods. “Those are _our ships_.”

“Where is this?” he demands, those are _their_ ships which means that their people must be flying them or at the very least on board. Liz shakes her head.

“Spain,” Nita replies helpfully, she has her phone gripped in one hand and can’t seem to look away from the screen. “I would be willing to put good money on Alex and Ryder being on one of those… uh space ships? He’s still not answering his phone though.”

 

********************************

 

The woman on the television has been replaced by a man now that hours have passed and there seems to be no further information forthcoming. There are interviews with people who profess to be experts on aliens and all current and former world leaders are making statements filled with wonder that they’re not alone and fear that their planet is possibly in the process of being invaded.

Every channel they flip through shows the same images of the ships on a continuous loop as they hover there over a building in flames below them, and Zan wonders when they’ll begin moving.

Where they’ll go when the do… will they come to Roswell? He hopes so.

It’s almost a shock when the start ascending, becoming smaller and smaller as they move quickly out of view of the cameras.

“Where are they going?” Michael asks in alarm, Zan thinks he would be grabbing onto arms if Isobel and Max weren’t already right next to him on the couch. Liz is squeezed between Max and the arm, Max’s arm tight over her shoulders.

Rosa is on the floor in front of Isobel, resting her head against her knees.

There is a knock at the door and Rath goes to answer it since the rest of them can’t seem to take their eyes from the screen. When he returns it’s with the Major in tow and he looks breathless, like he’s traveled a long distance in a very short period.

“They’re going to be bringing them here,” the Major is saying when they come into the living room.

“You’ve been in contact with them?” Rath asks.

“Captain Manes wanted me to know that the situation had been resolved, and that he’d suddenly come into a possession of two space ships of unidentified origin and wanted me to try and clear air space for them, so they could move them without getting shot down. I don’t know exactly what his game plan is, wasn’t actually able to get him a clear route so I think there was some talk about going into space and then coming back down over the US, I think, there was lot of chatter on the other end and only about half it was being relayed to me.”

“He’s okay?”

“He didn’t say anything, but I’ve known the Captain for a couple of years; he probably wouldn’t say anything about a scratch unless he was in danger of imminent bleeding out, maybe not even then,” the Major shrugs, Nita is nodding her head in agreement with him.

“How long will it take…” Michael starts and they all hear the rumbling at the same time, Zan stills and waits and he can hear the whine of flight engines that likely haven’t been run in the years since they arrived.

Rath moves quickly out the door and Zan hurries to follow him, the children behind them.

He can see his people, those that have been moved to Roswell already, coming out of their houses, shading their eyes as they gaze up at their ships coming into view.

Moving slowly over the houses, casting large shadows and he can see Rath tracking the movements and scanning the horizon, likely calculating where they have enough room to put down in.

Zan waits and then follows when he starts moving, Bren joins them then Tare and Tyrel jogging to catch up. In the distance he can see the ships hovering, spinning up sand and dust before they gently touch down.

First the Vorimir and then the Martel settling right beside her.

The engine whines wane then fade away into faint hums.

Rath stops, hand in the air and they hold behind him. Zan touches his arm and Rath glances at him, then reaches down to take his hand and link their fingers together.

A united front, just in case Alex was forced to make the call under duress.

He can see the Major waving his hands and lining up the soldiers he’s had stationed with them as precautionary measures since Alex was taken, to their right and left.

Flanking them since none of them are armed.

He should have insisted the children stay at the house until they knew who was on the ships.

The bay doors for the Vorimir open slowly, sand and dust blowing around as the ramp comes down and Max has his arms around his brother holding him back, Michael’s eyes are wet and the hope on his face…

Zan hopes as well, he doesn’t know what he hopes for.

There’s movement on the ship and then a young man comes down the ramp, then a blond woman, both armed.

“That’s Jenna,” Max says and there’s relief in his voice and Michael makes a noise.

Two men, older and dressed in shorts and t-shirts, pale and wide eyed come down next, collapsing to their knees when their feet hit the sand.

Zan recognizes them he thinks, maybe two of Rath’s officers if he’s not mistaken.

“Alex,” Michael says and then Zan sees him, he’s dressed in a gray shirt and pants, blood staining them both and under the protective curve of his arm is Vilandra.

They both stop there at the edge of the ramp and Alex leans down to say something and she nods as he releases her and steps forward off the ramp.

Michael darts forward and Zan would stop him but he and Rath are both moving as well.

Alex meets him halfway, arms wrapping around each other, kissing like the lovers reunited that they are. Zan wants to stay there and watch the happiness and love radiate around them.

He doesn’t though because Vilandra has stepped off the ramp onto the ground and is standing there looking lost and afraid now that she doesn’t have Alex shielding her.

When he reaches her he’s almost scared to touch her, there are bruises and marks over her arms and legs, what looks like the start of bruising in the shape of fingers across her throat and it makes him so irrationally angry at Kivar, at _himself_ for not knowing that his wife was in trouble.

That there was something wrong.

She looks at him with wide terrified eyes and he knows she’s fearful of being repudiated, that he’ll take one look at her now that she’s in front of him and snap the bond between them, instead he reaches out and cups her face in his hands, strokes away her tears with his thumbs and draws her close.

Closes his eyes as she wraps her arms around him and muffles her sobs in his shirt, he rests his cheek against her hair and tries very hard to keep from breaking himself. He can feel Rath’s hands on his back before his arms come around the both of them.

Holding the three of them together.

Shielding them as he always has tried to do.

 

********************************

  



	20. Chapter 20

**Moving Forward 20/?**

 

Tasia comes forward tentatively and Vilandra thinks she’s a mirage at first, a ghost there to torment her for her failure to keep her ladies safe.

But there is older man that looks like Bren right behind her and while Vilandra stands there and tries to think of reasons as to why she’d hallucinate Tasia _and_ an older Bren; Stass and Aria have rushed to wrap Tasia up in their arms, crying into her hair.

She can feel Zan’s arms around her and Rath is a solid presence beside her, hand pressed to her back.

She casts her eyes for Ryder and finds him being alternatively hugged and shaken by an older woman who has similar features to him. He meets her eyes and glances towards Tasia then smiles at her and shrugs slightly.

Zan settles her under his arm, Rath on her other side and when Tasia is finally released by Stass and Aria she steps forward to her.

Tasia wipes her tears away with shaking hands and smiles tremulously at her, before pressing kisses to her cheeks.

“We’re free, my lady,” she murmurs and Vilandra manages to smile through her tears.

“We’re free,” she echoes.

Then there are her children who are children no longer, all adults, all bonded and she’s tired of crying, of feeling weak over things she had no control over until it was too late to salvage anything.

All those years lost to them because of Kivar’s lust for a power he couldn’t even wield.

Both Zan and Rath lost those years as well and they seem to have accepted it somehow.

She doesn’t know how to touch them, doesn’t know if her touch would even be welcome so she waits for them to come to her.

Zan whispers their names to her as they forward.

Isobel first and her touch is soft and gentle, she can see the bruises on her body and she doesn’t want to cause her pain, but the hesitation and tears welling in her eyes are like knives to her heart.

Max follows behind her and his touch is even more cautious, like he’s afraid of hurting her or more likely of _her_ hurting him.

She wants to bring Kivar back to life so she can kill him again and make him suffer for every hair on her children’s heads he harmed.

Michael holds back, arms wrapped around Alex, watching with wary eyes, and she doesn’t hold out her hand or force him to her.

He is Rath’s son, which means he is Zan’s oldest child, which means he is _her_ oldest son; but she can’t claim him if he doesn’t want it.

In a perfect world, they would still be at home on Antar, Kivar would not have been able to do damage and if she couldn’t bond with Rath then she and Mara would have closed the loop between the four of them.

She despairs once more at what has been lost to them, those opportunities that never came to pass, because Kivar _did_ happen and Mara is gone and there is no making things right now.

 

********************************

 

Michael holds Alex tight to him, and Alex holds him back. He wants to hide him away in a room somewhere, so they can just be together.

But Ryder appears, then Nita, then the Major then his dads. So Michael lets him go, leaving a hand touching his back while Alex and Ryder explain what happened.

“Kivar is dead?” Zan asks again and Alex nods.

“He’s in one of the chambers on the ship,” Ryder says, “Because it felt kind of ghoulish to have him laying on the floor in the command center. It’s only been ten hours or so, he shouldn’t smell all that bad yet.”

“ _Ten hours_?” the Major asks, and Michael can see them all exchanging looks. It’s been _maybe_ an hour since they landed, four or so since the television crews in Spain got the first footage of the ships. “Why…?”

“Because the flight crew had a hissy fit about having two royal spouses flying on one ship and how it broke all sorts of protocols and how if they got shot down and both of them died that they’d be up for whatever the Antarian form of court martial is,” Ryder is smirking, even though Alex is glaring at him. 

“I had to be very clear on the fact that I am not married,” Alex says. 

“You are bonded to Michael though,” Zan says carefully. “So they are not incorrect.” 

“Bonded,” Alex states. “ _Not married_.”

“On Antar,” Rath starts and Alex turns dark eyes on his father.

“The next words out of your mouth better not be that a bond is equivalent to marriage on Antar,” he says evenly.

“There would be a ceremony of course,” Zan says, ignoring the dark look on Alex’s face, “but that’s merely a formality.”

Rath’s mouth doesn’t make a sound, though the tiniest bit of smirk can be seen and is telling.

“You’re a General, since when does that mean anything royal?”

“I am bonded to Zan, Zan is our King, Michael is our oldest son,” Rath says, carefully, like he can tell that Alex has one nerve left and it’s beginning to fray around the edges.

Alex just stares at him, then looks at Michael who doesn’t have anything helpful to share so rubs a finger against Alex’s temple where there seems to be some dried blood.

“In my defense, that was something else I totally didn’t know about,” Michael says.

Because he feels like it needs to be said.

 

********************************

 

Kivar is definitely dead, there’s a tiny part of Zan that wishes to resurrect him so that they can bring him up on charges and have him summarily executed.

But this is probably cleaner, and easier.

“So what do we do with him?” Tare asks as they stand around the body of the man that forced them to flee their home.

Rath meets his eyes directly and he knows that Rath will accept whatever decision he makes.

“Stasis,” Zan says finally after probably too long a pause. “And then we’ll see about convening a council to have a formal declaration made.”

They all nod their agreement and Bren raises a hand to alert the waiting guards take the body away.

When it’s just them again the pilots come forward, Zan has met them both briefly before they fled Antar, enough that he can tell that the years under Kivar’s thumb haven’t been kind to them.

“What are the ship statuses?” Rath asks.

“The ships are both flight ready,” Simhone says. He exchanges a look that Zan can’t decipher with his co-pilot.

“Just spit it out,” Rath says and his tone sounds hard, Zan thinks he’s the only one that can hear the exhaustion in it.

“Kivar had directed us at one point to establish contact with anyone still living on Antar,” Simhone says finally.

“How badly is the planet still overrun with his troops?” Rath asks.

“That’s just the thing, sir,” Vehn says slowly. “It looks like he had all the troops loyal to him _with_ him, he left no one behind on Antar to safeguard his interests.”

“We told him we were unable to regain contact, that there was no one _left_ to contact. And, well…” Simhone says, he sounds sheepish and Zan doesn’t understand but he thinks Rath might from the smile starting to form on face.

“You lied to him,” Rath says.

“Yes, sir,” Vehn says. “We regained contact with what remain of _our_ forces and well, the capital is still ours, the ships are flight ready. We could…”

“We could go home,” Zan breathes.

 

********************************

 

There are doctors on site and Alex is forced by both Michael _and_ his mom to see one.

“No need for stitches,” the doctor presses at wound on his head, it stopped bleeding hours prior and at one point on the ship, while they were still arguing over whether the bond Alex had with Michael meant that he was _actually_ married to Michael, Vilandra had forced a healer to tend to him.

He’d only relented when Vilandra had grudgingly agreed to let the healer do a basic assessment of _her_ health as well.

He nods and then they both look at the giant elephant in the room.

His shiny new leg.

“You’d think they’d at least come up with a skin covering so it doesn’t _look_ like a robot appendage,” the doctor says, Alex presses fingers against the smooth gray of not-skin and it still amazes him that he can _feel_ it.

“There doesn’t seem to be a release of any sort,” Alex says, the doctor presses gloved fingers against the edges of where his actual leg ends, and the new leg begins. He can’t call it a prosthetic, in his experience the prosthetics that he’s used in the past don’t allow him to feel sensation at all.

Not even the new cool ones that he wouldn’t have even had the option to request.

“I’m not quite sure what to do about it,” the doctor admits, “there doesn’t seem to be any swelling or irritation on the edges of the stump, whatever they did…”

“They performed an illegal operation without consent,” Alex says.

“We could ask the Antarian healers for direction but honestly the only way it’s coming off is surgically.”

“I’d rather not lose another leg if it’s my choice.”

 

********************************

 

It’s his own damn fault, he knows this. But Alex had blood on him which might mean he was injured, might have also meant nothing, but Nita had agreed with him that Alex needed to be given a once over by a medical professional that wasn’t Valenti.

So Alex got whisked away by one of the doctors, and then when he’d finally come back out looking cleaner and on the wrong side of exhausted the Major had swooped in and dragged him into another room before Michael even got to touch him.

“How long now?” Nita asks when she sits down next to him, she’s got two cups in her hand and offers one of them to him.

He can smell the coffee and he doesn’t _want_ coffee. What he wants is Alex to come out of that room, so Michael can lock them away in his room just the two of them.

It’s probably not going to happen, Liz and Rosa haven’t had a chance to hug him yet so they’re going to want a few minutes, and then Michael is _sure_ his own damn _father_ is going to want some time as well.

“Almost two hours,” Michael says, he takes a drink and is really surprised that it’s exactly the way he likes it.

“Your brother told me how you take it,” Nita says as she stares at the door. Her phone vibrates in her pocket and she digs for it, makes a face and sighs, pats him on the knee before standing.

“I told you I’d call once I had any information,” she says in the phone as she stalks away, she sounds kind of pissed off and Michael is irrationally happy it’s not at him.

He sits there, stares at the door and drinks his coffee while around him people walk and talk and the door continues to remain closed.

“Staring at it isn’t going to make it open any faster,” Liz says, he glances around because Liz there, Max is sure to be close behind. “He was talking to Jenna.”

“You don’t have a problem with that?” he asks and Liz shrugs.

“I like Jenna,” she says, like that means anything. “And he tried to be all stoic man about it, but he was worried about her.”

Max and Jenna had a thing, if someone Alex’d had a thing with came back and he was all concerned Michael is fairly sure he couldn’t pull of the whole laissez faire thing Liz is managing.

“You’re going to make your head explode,” Liz says as she leans her head on his shoulder.

“I’m trying to decide if this means Max is still fucking around with her and you’re okay with that,” Michael finally says.

“Who says Max is the one sleeping with her?”

Michael is glad there are doctors all around because he thinks he might be having a stroke. And its awful timing because he’s choking on air and the door is opening and Alex comes out still looking exhausted but relaxed.

“Did you break him?” he asks and Liz shrugs as she comes to her feet and pulls him into a hug.

“He’s just shocked that women can be friends,” Liz says, she leans back and studies Alex, he raises an eyebrow at her. “You look tired.”

“I would love to take a nap,” Alex admits. “Like just an hour or so.”

“I have a bedroom with a bed, and there is a lock on the door,” Michael says standing up, Liz lets Alex go and he walks right into him, tilting their heads together and pressing his hands against his hips.

Michael lays his hand against the back of his neck.

“I need a shower, and something to change into,” Alex murmurs into his neck.

“You’re in luck, I have a shower too, and a pair of shorts that are sure to fit you.”

 

********************************


	21. Chapter 21

**Moving Forward 21/?**

 

She curls up in a bed that smells like Zan and Rath and breathes. Zan is beside her, hand resting lightly on her hip and he’s relaxed but she can tell that much like her he’s watching the door.

Waiting, like she is, for Rath to come. She knows he’s not going to sleep until Rath is there, which means she’s not going to sleep until Rath is there.

“You should go get him,” Vilandra suggests and Zan huffs a sigh and presses a kiss to her shoulder before the bed shifts and he climbs out. He’s muttering under his breath and she can’t understand what he’s saying but she’s sure she _knows_ the context.

She pulls warm blankets up tight under her chin and waits. It’s just minutes before Zan comes back through the door, fingers linked around Rath’s, tugging him along behind him, shutting the door on the way.

Rath is rolling his eyes at Zan’s back as he climbs back in beside her and Vilandra waits for Rath to sit on the edge of the bed nearest her.

“I would have come up when we were done,” Rath says defensively and Vilandra doesn’t roll her eyes because she’s sure that Zan is doing it for both of them.

“And when would that have been?” she asks, she reaches out a hand to poke at his leg. He watches her, then runs a hand over her head, leans down to kiss her forehead. “I’m sorry I’m not her,” she whispers.

“Vilandra…” Zan starts.

“He ruined it all,” she doesn’t need to specify who in this case, she thinks they all know. “If you couldn’t bond with me then Mara and I should have had the chance and he,” she curves her hand into a fist and breathes. “It’s not fair.”

Rath stands and she thinks he’s going to leave the room, instead he toes off his shoes, removes his pants and then pulls back the covers so he can climb in next to her. He lays on his side facing her, still an awkward distance between them.

When she’d been a teenager, after Rath and Zan had bonded, she’d had dreams of what it would be like to share a bed with the two of them in the, what she thought was their inevitable, future.

There was much less clothing, much less _space_ between them all, in those dreams of long ago. Though he does finally touch her, moving just a hairs breadth closer so he can press his lips to her forehead, laying an arm across her so he can link his fingers with Zan’s.

She closes her eyes and can feel Zan against her back, feel Rath’s arm against her skin.

She prays for no dreams, no nightmares.

Just sleep.

 

********************************

 

“This isn’t very romantic for a first meal back,” Liz says as she eyes the sandwich and chips on a plate, the bottle of water that Michael is gathering. Cameron has her arms crossed and her head down on the table and she looks like she’s asleep.

Michael isn’t sure where _they’re_ going to sleep, he’s got first claim on his room that he sometimes shares with Max by the sheer fact that Alex is already in it.

“Alex is probably going to pass out as soon as he eats,” Michael says, if he’s lucky he might get a few minutes of making out before he does that, but Michael doesn’t really have high hopes in that regard. He thinks it’ll be enough that he can climb into a bed that Alex is in and hold him.

“He’s probably already passed out,” Cameron mumbles, she doesn’t even open her eyes so Michael can glare at her properly which is frustrating.

She’s right though, when he gets back to his room, opening the door quietly and managing to not drop anything, Alex is passed out in the middle of his bed.

He’s got on shorts and a t-shirt and Michael stops dead at the sight of his leg. It’s _definitely_ not the prosthetic that Michael last saw when he had Alex in his bed.

He eyes it, it’s not like Alex to fall asleep before pulling the prosthetic off, but he can’t see any way for it to _come_ off.

He sets the plate on the dresser, puts the bottle of water on the side closest to Alex then shifts and pulls on the blankets so he can get them out from under him and covering him instead.

“I’m awake,” Alex mutters.

“No you’re not,” Michael murmurs, he runs his hand down the side of Alex’s face and Alex’s eyes crack open to look at him.

They stare at each for a moment, then he starts undressing, belt and jeans dropping to the floor, tugs off his t-shirt and leaves the underwear on because he doesn’t want to presume that just because Alex is in his bed, voluntarily, that he has any desire for Michael to be naked in that bed with him right now.

Alex doesn’t say anything, just watches through barely open eyes, pink starting to tinge his cheeks. He’s absolutely the most beautiful thing Michael has laid eyes on in a while.

Alex rolls onto his side and Michael slides under the blankets, pulls until Alex is flush with him and he can wrap his arms around him. He presses his lips against the back of Alex’s neck and just lays there, breathing, Alex is relaxed and warm in his arms and Michael wants him closer.

Even though there is no real, physical way for them to _be_ any closer.

He knows Alex can feel that he’s hard against him, it’s been _way_ too long since he’s had sex with anything besides his hand. And it’s Alex, in his bed, finally, again.

Alex twists in his arms until they’re facing each other, he touches the side of his face and the look in his eyes isn’t anything that Michael has seen before. He drags his thumb over Michael’s lips and smiles at him, then leans forward to kiss him.

Michael slides a hand under his t-shirt, wanting to touch skin and Alex makes a noise that sounds like want and frustration all mixed together.

Michael _knows_ he’s exhausted, but he also knows that it’s been over a year and a half since he’s had an opportunity to _actually_ touch Alex… he wants to strip him naked and put the sound proofing of these military built houses to the test and open the new bottle of lube that’s been hidden in the night table between the bed’s since Alex said he didn’t want to break the bond.

But he also knows that Alex will very likely pass out from sheer exhaustion and he doesn’t know if his ego can take the hit of Alex falling asleep in the middle of sex.

So he strokes his hand down Alex’s back and keeps his kisses gentle as he rolls onto his back, Alex sprawls over him and breaks the kiss finally so he can lay his head on the pillow next to Michaels. Fingers drawing indecipherable patterns on his skin.

Michael can almost feel the second that Alex actually loses the fight against staying awake, one minute his fingers are moving and the next they’re lax against his stomach and his breaths are slow and even.

Michael lays his hand over Alex’s, closes his eyes. He can take a cat nap while Alex sleeps, then when he wakes up they can talk and have sex and maybe Alex will explain what the fuck is up with his leg.

 

********************************

 

It’s surreal waking up and not having to fumble around for crutches just to get to the bathroom, he can just swing both legs out of bed and he can feel the cool wood floor under his feet. He slides out from under Michael’s arm, Michael frowns in his sleep but doesn’t wake.

He leaves the door cracked when he goes into the bathroom, he washes his hand when he’s done and searches for a toothbrush to run over his teeth. He finds an opened package with one missing in a drawer and brushes his teeth, runs a damp wash cloth over his face.

He’s awake now but if he leaves the room then Michael will likely think he’s headed for the hills so instead he flushes the toilet, turns the light off and climbs back into the bed. Curling back up under the covers, Michael’s arm coming over him to pull him tight against him.

He kisses his chin, his cheek, runs fingers over stubbled skin before kissing his lips gently. He can feel Michael’s lips curve up into a smile against his as his hand slides down the back of his shirt.

“Good mornin’ to me,” he drawls as he bites at Alex’s lip and rolls onto his back taking Alex with him so he’s sprawled on top of him. He can feel him hard against his thigh and he reaches down to press a hand against him, curling it around the thickness as much as he can with his underwear still in the way.

“Not morning,” Alex murmurs as Michael chuckles against his lips.

“I can take those off,” Michael says, hips moving against Alex’s hand, even though Alex isn’t really doing anything more but holding him in his hand. Familiarizing himself with the weight and girth and heat of him.

“In a minute,” Alex says as he leans back, Michael makes a noise and tries to hold him back with his hands until he realizes that Alex is trying to take his t-shirt off then he slides his hands up his side and helps him pull it off and toss it aside.

He shivers when he lies back down, chest to chest with Michael. Skin against skin.

When Michael pulls him into a kiss he sinks into it, and he’s not much help at all when Michael pushes his hands against the waist band of his shorts and starts pushing them down his hips. He kicks them away and gasps at the feel of Michael’s hand brushing against him as he negotiates getting his own underwear off.

“We need to talk,” he manages to gasp out when Michael gyrates against him.

He feels like a teenager again, except they at least managed to get lube and condoms out and have real sex when they were teenagers; this feels like making out they should have had in the back seat of a car, fully dressed, at a look out point… something they never did.

“Yep,” Michael manages, he cups Alex’s ass in his hands and pulls him in, presses fingers against his hole dry and Alex makes a likely embarrassing noise that he will deny to his dying day and comes. Michael just seconds behind him.

They lay there, in each other’s arms, Michael keeping one hand pressed against his ass, the other against the back of his neck. Alex curling one arm under his, the other on his hip.

They should move and clean up before it becomes an ordeal, but right now Alex just luxuriates in the feel of Michael’s skin against his, of his hands holding him steady and closes his eyes.

 

********************************

 

It’s still dark out when Zan’s eyes snap open, Rath is pressed up against him and Vilandra is no longer in the bed between them. He stills and turns his head to find Rath watching him.

“She got up about half an hour ago,” Rath says, “She said she needed something to drink, I offered to go with her and she told me to stay here with you.”

He sounds so bewildered by this fact, likely because all those years that Kivar was within her Vilandra spent a considerable amount of time trying to _keep_ Rath and Zan apart. Zan leans forward to kiss him, Rath meeting him and cupping his face in his hands.

“Do you think she meant it?” Rath asks as he sits up.

Zan knows what he’s speaking of, the comment that Vilandra had made about bonding with Mara. And there’s a part of him that wishes that they could have gotten there, the four of them, together with their children. He thinks Mara would have had another child, a girl likely, to take up the mantle of Mara the Twelfth.

“I do,” Zan says as he walks around the side of the bed, he stands between Rath’s spread legs and twines his fingers into his hair.

They stay there like that for long minutes, and when they finally go down to the kitchen they find her sitting at the table with a cup in front of her and she looks tired and worn; fragile in ways that Zan doesn’t remember her ever being before.

He kisses the top of her head, and she manages a small smile at him.

Rath sits in the chair next to Vilandra as Zan pours them both cups of water from the canister that is kept in the refrigerator.

It’s quiet and when he turns Vilandra has her face turned into Rath’s shoulder, likely to hide her tears from him, Rath is touching the back of her head and whispering things he can’t hear.

He sets the cups on the table and moves the chair closer, laying his arm over the back of the chairs so he can touch Rath’s arm and press his lips to the back of Vilandra’s head.

Her breathing hitches slightly as she reaches blindly for his hand and he links their fingers together, laying them as one across Rath’s thigh. Rath kisses her forehead and when his eyes meet Zan’s there is a look that he’s not seen there before.

He prods at the bonds and there’s nothing in Rath’s that screams discomfort, and Vilandra’s is calm for once, he thinks he’ll need to spend time meditating with her to get it completely stable again. He’s sure he can convince Rath to meditate with them as well.

 

********************************

 

********************************

 

Vilandra is sitting with his dads at the table when he comes down and he feels like he’s interrupting though both Zan and Rath smile at him, Vilandra doesn’t smile but he’s not sure Vilandra even has the energy to try.

She looks like she’s half asleep, she _looks_ more exhausted then Alex did and he honestly didn’t think that was possible.

“The Captain still asleep?” Rath asks, there’s a twist to his lips that Michael recognizes from when he looks in a mirror and he’s positive his dads know that they had sex.

“I’m awake,” Alex says, and he still looks tired, but he’d devoured the sandwich after they’d cleaned up and then they’d spent a really long time just touching each other.

Hands stroking against skin as the sun came up, Michael had opened the bond up, wide open the way he hasn’t since Rath had shown him how to close it up so he wasn’t leaking his feeling all over Alex’s brain.

But it felt like the right thing to do, the right _time_ to do it as he sank into Alex and it was transcendental… he swears he could feel every ounce of love and devotion that he feels for Alex radiating back at him.

Alex presses a hand against his back and brushes his lips against his cheek as he goes to make Rath’s coffee maker give him coffee.

“You look much better,” Vilandra offers in a soft voice, it’s similar to Isobel’s, but cultured the way that Zan and Rath’s can be.

Alex glances at her, studies her face.

“You look like you could use a couple more hours of sleep,” he says and Michael stills, waits for her to get defensive and yell. Instead she offers Alex a wry smile and leans into Rath’s side.

“Bad dreams don’t care if we’re free or not,” she says and Alex nods.

“There’s probably a couple of therapists on call here, I think the Major said something about having a couple on rotation when we’re setting up plans,” Alex turns back to the coffee maker and presses several buttons that have the brewer dispensing coffee a second later.

He pours two cups when it’s done, then pours a third when Rath just stares at him.

“There are several, I’ll touch base with them this morning and find you someone to talk to,” Rath says as Alex puts the cup in front of him, he smiles at him but its distracted, like he’s thinking of all the things he needs to do during the day and not enough time.

“What are the chances I can actually see the inside of the spaceship?” Michael asks, he takes the couple of steps across the kitchen and leans into the counter and Alex’s side. He feels like a kid asking if he can see the new toy up close and personal.

And he’s only just the slightest bit jealous that Alex got to ride in an actual fucking spaceship first, especially considering _he’s_ the one that’s an alien.

“There’ll be people in and out of them all day, but if you want to wait I’ll go out with you,” Rath says, he’s looking at him and Michael has a vivid memory of Rath holding him by the hand and leading him onto a spaceship, swinging him up on his hip and walking him through hallways.

“I can wait for you,” Michael says and Rath beams at him.

 

********************************

 


	22. Chapter 22

**Moving Forward 22/?**

 

Michael has gone with Rath to the spaceship which is apparently called Vorimir and apparently was also _Rath’s_ ship. Zan has taken a pale Vilandra to speak to one of the therapists on duty.

Michael is going to have questions, oh so many questions and Vilandra is likely going to have at least one breakdown so they’re going to be gone a while.

So Alex takes the opportunity to have a long shower that doesn’t require him to balance on one leg or find a shower chair, when he’s done he dries off and realizes he has absolutely no clothes besides the ones that he arrived in and the shorts and t-shirt that Michael had pulled out for him the night before.

He’s thinking he’ll have to dig through the dresser in the room Michael says isn’t his but is definitely _his_ , instead he walks out of the bathroom to finds a bag with a note attached in the middle of the bed.

_Because Michael is probably more concerned with getting you out of your clothes instead of what you’re wearing. Love you! Liz_

He grins, and it looks like Liz has gone out to his cabin and pulled clothes straight from his bedroom; jeans, t-shirts, socks, underwear, she’s even put in some sweatpants.

No shoes though so when he’s dressed he puts on the boots that Ryder had left for him back before they escaped and wonders if there’s any way he can run into town to pick up clothing unnoticed.

The house is quiet when he goes downstairs, he makes himself another cup of coffee and holds his phone in one hand wondering who he should call first. When he steps out into the covered veranda, he can see his mom sitting right outside, travel cup in one hand, phone in the other.

“Morning,” he says when he pushes through the door and she grins up at him.

“You definitely look like you had a nice one,” she comments with an arched brow and hint of smirk, Alex doesn’t flush because he’s a grown ass man that has apparently been mostly married since he was seventeen, so he gets to have sex with his maybe kind of husband if he wants to.

“You look like you haven’t had any sleep at all,” Alex says as he sits in the chair to her left.

“Well you brought a shitstorm in, so I got to rebalance some stuff, then had to help your Major figure out how to get enough troops here to keep the looky loo’s away from the spaceships you parked in the backyard,” she says, she drinks out of her cup and Alex looks out to the horizon where he can see the ships sitting side by side, the Martel slightly smaller than the Vorimir.

“Spaceships,” Alex mutters.

“Hey you were the one that brought them in,” Nita reminds him.

“That was totally not me, that was Ryder, I didn’t even _know_ about the spaceships until he kidnapped me.”

“I didn’t _kidnap_ you, stop calling it kidnapping,” Ryder says, the door bangs closed behind him and he stands to one side staring out at the space ships. “Mom was just taking too long.”

“You literally sent me a file and a woman and then arranged the meeting with Alex while I was trying to negotiate a secure channel to get the file to him,” she narrows her eyes at Ryder. “You know these things don’t happen overnight, there are rules and procedures… did you even _intend_ for me to get the file to your brother or another asset or was it just a way to keep me and the rest of the NSA busy and distracted?”

“I thought I had more time,” Ryder finally admits. “If I’d known he was bonded to one of them I would have figured out something else.”

They stare at the spaceships sitting on the horizon again. They work, there’s nothing keeping them here, he wonders if Rath has people on those ships trying to determine if Antar is habitable for them.

“So how are things going with that girl you were seeing?” Nita asks finally and Ryder groans, Alex hides his grin behind his cup.

“I’m not getting any younger,” she reminds them.

“Alex quite literally got married to an alien prince,” Ryder says.

“Not married,” Alex mutters.

“And when the Antarians reveal that they’ve got a way for one of them to give me a grandbaby I’ll be talking to them about it, but right now…”

“Maybe she doesn’t want kids,” Ryder says. “That is her prerogative.”

Nita sighs and nods grudgingly. “What about dogs? Or cats? Alex and I were talking about adoption that is always a valid choice.”

 

 

********************************

 

The ship is all smooth lines and lit hallways and is bustling with activity. He doesn’t know where Rath is leading him but he’s a man on a mission and focused on wherever their ultimate destination is.

The door he stops at has a pad in front of it and Rath presses his hand against it and the door slides open silently.

Michael doesn’t gawk, because they’ve already gone through three doors that his dad has done the same thing to.

The room they enter is small, just a bed, desk and locker against one wall. Very utilitarian.

There’s a slim box on the desk and that’s what Rath picks up, he presses a couple of buttons and when he hands it to Michael there are pictures flashing across it. It appears to be the Antarian version of a digital picture frame except some of the pictures are videos.

He sits down hard on the corner of the bed when the first picture passes and cradles it in his hands like it’s priceless.

There’s him as a small boy, maybe five or so being held in his mother’s arms as he squirms, and she laughs, pressing kisses to his face.

There’re pictures of Rath and Zan and Rath and Zan and Mara and even some of Rath and Zan and Vilandra looking impossibly young and happy. There are pictures of him and Max and Isobel in varying ages of infancy through seven likely, some of just the three of them, quite a few of them with one of their parents.

“You can keep it,” Rath says softly, “I can have another made.”

“She looks like I remember,” Michael says, fingers hovering over the screen.

Rath sits next to him, “she was beautiful, both inside and out. I could never figure out how I got so lucky to have her love me. After Vilandra decided she wanted nothing more to do with for a long time I thought I would only have Zan, that there was something horribly wrong with me that caused one of my oldest friends to revile me. I should have known…”

Michael watches his mother’s smiling face, her happy eyes.

Watches as she kisses Rath, kisses Zan, watches her hold tight to Isobel and Max and knows that she considered them hers as much as Zan considers _him_ his.

Knows that if he were to ask, Vilandra would tell him that he’s _hers_ just as much as Max and Isobel are… all because Rath and Zan are bonded.

He spent his entire childhood, his entire _adulthood_ so far thinking he only had Max and Isobel and Alex. And now he has more parents wanting to lay claim to him then he really knows what to do with.

“You’re going to try…” he can’t say the words, he doesn’t know how he feels. He’s not seen Vilandra more then a handful of times that he remembers, and the two most recent interactions she looked like a strong word might have her in hysterics.

“Maybe,” Rath says and there’s a weight to his words that Michael can’t decipher. “Maybe there’s too much between us now for it to even be an option. It will be some time in the future I think regardless, there are too many other decisions to be made first, too many other things that take priority. And Vilandra needs time to heal, I think we all need time to heal.”

 

********************************

 

Zan calls them all together, all his people in one room in the bay of the Vorimir because they won’t all _fit_ into the living room of their house any longer.

Someone has found chairs and it settles something in him to have Rath to his right and Vilandra on his left, Michael, Max and Isobel are standing behind them. Huddled together.

“We need to make a decision on what to do with Kivar’s remains,” he says and there is loud murmuring in response and then Bren steps forward.

“Your highness, we’ve discussed this some in smaller groups and our consensus is that it should be Vilandra’s decision,” Bren says and there’s a muffled noise of agreement from around the room. “As much as we were all victims of what Kivar tried to do, she has been his biggest victim, she should have the most say on how we deal with him.”

Zan nods and looks over to where Vilandra looks surprised by Bren’s words, tears welling in her eyes. It takes her several tries to speak and she doesn’t stand, mostly because Zan thinks she might not be able to stay on her feet if she did.

They should have put this off, given her more time to recover, he doesn’t want to delay on the decisions that need to be made though.

Most of them impact more than just them.

“I should say,” she says softly, “that we should resurrect him so he can stand trial for his crimes,” she swallows, she’s trembling and he reaches out to take her hand. Letting her clutch at it tightly.

“But, what he cost us,” she continues, voice cracking, “the _people_ that he cost us that aren’t here when they should be,” tears leak from her eyes and she stares at nothing, he doesn’t think she’s seeing anyone in the bay with them just the horror in her memories.

“I never got to see my children grow up, I barely have memories of when they were children, he cost me my family and my loves and so many of my friends, of _our_ friends,” she breathes out a sob and he can see that her ladies are already in tears. He can hear Isobel’s shaky breaths behind them and he knows if he looks her brothers will have her wrapped between them.

Vilandra looks over at him and her despair is written into every line of her face. He smiles as gently as he can manage at her, she looks past him to Rath and manages a smile through her tears.

“We destroy his remains,” she says softly, “we destroy his remains and we strike his name from the records to never be used again.”

He nods and raises her hand to his lips and presses a kiss to the back.

“Objections?” he asks, and the bay is silent, just the hum of the ship around them.

“Then we rule that the body of Kivar the fifteenth is destroyed, and the name is stricken from the records,” Zan says. Rath stamps his foot once, and it resounds through the bay, his soldiers copy him and it echoes.

“Simhone?” he calls the pilot forward and he’s dressed in attire that Zan had been accustomed to seeing him in. His normal pilots’ uniform and he wonders if Rath has a uniform hidden away in his rooms and why he hasn’t yet pulled it back on.

“We’ve re-established contact with Antar Air Command,” Simhone says, and Zan had known this, but it’s still something to hear.

And also something that he’d asked the others to not discuss until they’d had a formal council, they’d all listened to him as the news causes whispers and murmurs ins response.

“And their words?”

“Ship yards are open, the capital has remained dark since Kivar’s ships left, but all is peaceful,” Simhone’s voice breaks. “They say they can send ships if we need assistance coming home.”

“Do we have visuals yet?” Rath asks, ever the pessimist.

“Yes sir, and it looks to be as is reported to us,” Simhone looks to him and Zan nods. “Our ships are flight ready, we could go home.”

 

********************************

 

“I’m not going anywhere without Alex,” Michael announces when they’re back in the house, just Max and Isobel and his dads and Vilandra.

He knows Max and Isobel are in agreement with him. Max isn’t going to leave Liz and Isobel and Rosa just managed to get things figured out between them, Isobel isn’t leaving her behind now.

“Why would you go anywhere without me?” Alex asks from the doorway to the kitchen and Michael startles because he hadn’t even known that Alex was in the house, let alone that Nita and Ryder were there with him.

“Because the ships, can you know, fly,” Michael waves a hand and Alex looks bemused at his hand motions.

“I’m aware, I actually flew in one, remember?”

And that stops Michael dead and he stares at him, “you flew in a spaceship,” he says slowly.

He knew this, he _saw_ it, yet it had totally escaped him that he the actual alien hasn’t actually been airborne in a spaceship, yet his very human boyfriend _has_.

“You’ve been _in space_ ,” he breathes and Alex frowns at him, then glances over at where his dads are probably laughing at him.

“I thought the Major…” Alex glances over his shoulder at Ryder who shrugs and Nita who has her lip drawn between her teeth and looks to be biting it to keep from laughing at him.

“There was a whole thing, about not being able to get clearance and…” Michael stops, because he’d been so excited about Alex being safe and coming home, he hadn’t really thought about the logistics of how Alex had _gotten_ there.

Going into actual fucking space hadn’t even been a thought in his head though if he thinks back on it now he’s pretty sure it was heavily insinuated.

“And we were going to take the ships into orbit, then come back down over Roswell, so we didn’t get shot down by any countries that wouldn’t grant us permission to breach their air space…” Alex shrugs, “the pilots said that the ships could take several direct hits but they were also still kind of freaking out that Vilandra and I were on the same ship so they took the easy solution when it was offered.”

“The ships are in good working order, we’ve re-opened communications with those remaining on Antar, we could go home,” Rath says, Alex nods like he already knows this.

Michael isn’t sure how he knows this, he’d only found out an hour prior when Zan had announced it. But maybe Alex had expected it seeing as how the ships were actually functional and able to help them flee from where Kivar had hidden them away.

 

 


	23. Chapter 23

**Moving Forward 23/?**

 

Max had put his foot down on sharing a room with Michael while Alex was there so Isobel finds herself with a roommate for the fifth consecutive day.

He does snore, he didn’t when they were children, so she wonders when it began.

Obviously after they went to having separate rooms as pre-teens. She gets tired of trying to block it out about three am, thinks for a moment about throwing something hard at him and instead goes downstairs to the living room.

She’s woken in the past to find Michael and Rath on the couch, talking quietly. She’d never interrupted them, just sat at the top of the stairs and listened to the quite hum of their voices.

Neither of them are there, though Vilandra, is sitting on one side of the couch, knees drawn up to her chest, looking small and lost. When she comes around the couch Vilandra looks up at her, brushing at her red eyes with long fingers. Her hands are shaking.

“Good morning,” Isobel offers and Vilandra smiles a tiny smile at her in return. The bruises around her neck look horrible, and she wonders how close they came to Vilandra not being able to flee with Alex because she was dead.

“Its very early,” Vilandra says.

“Max snores.”

Vilandra laughs a little.

“Zan and Rath were still sleeping,” she offers. “And I’ve been sleeping so much that I didn’t want my turning over in bed to wake them.”

“Normally I wake up and Michael is down here with Rath, talking.”

“Even when we were children Rath was an early riser, it used to drive Zan crazy to wake in the morning and Rath would be gone, meditating in the garden or practicing with his weapons, sparring with the guards, Rath was never one for idle time.”

“You knew them when they were kids?” Isobel asks, and she turns slightly so she’s facing her mother. Michael might know more, by virtue of his late-night conversations with their father but she doesn’t know anything really about their parents lives prior to them having kids.

“We grew up together, I was there the day they bonded,” she smiles wistfully at the memory, “Zan told me once, I think we were around ten or so that he _knew_ they’d be bondmates. He was not one for precognition, I think he just adored Rath so much that even at ten he knew that the only way he’d be able to keep him close was to bond with him. I was so happy for them when it finally happened.”

“You weren’t angry at them being together?” Isobel vaguely remembers a conversation with Rath, months in the past where he’d told them that Vilandra had been jealous of the bond.

“No, absolutely not,” Vilandra says, she looks at her in confusion. “Anyone with eyes would have known that that Zan and Rath would be together, that included me. I was a little jealous that meant they’d spend a more time alone together then with me…” she rubs her hands together.

“We were fifteen and I was more then a little in love with the both of them. Thinking back now, my ladies and I think that might be how Kivar was able to first gain access to my mind.”

“But Rath bonded to Mara, Michael’s mom?”

“That was later, after Zan and I bonded, I don’t even know how we were able to do that with Kivar’s interference… though maybe he thought it a necessity for his plans,” Vilandra shrugs. “There was a brief time after Zan and I bonded that they tried to make the effort to bring Mara into our fold, and I know I could have loved her given the chance. She was bright and happy, and she was so very good for Rath. But Kivar has already weakened any friendship that remained between Rath and I, I didn’t understand at the time why Rath wouldn’t trust me alone with her, why he continually distanced himself from me, not like I do now…”

Tears are in her eyes again and Isobel doesn’t know what to do for her. Her mother is like a shattered glass, broken into so many pieces that she’s isn’t sure they’ll even be able to put them all back together and make her whole again.

“I loved them,” Vilandra says and she turns her face away, so Isobel can no longer see her tears. “I loved them, and he took them from me, I could have loved her too and we weren’t given the time.”

Isobel reaches out a hand and touches her mothers’ arm and Vilandra turns to her, tears streaking her face, eyes red.

“You don’t have to offer me comfort,” she says. “I know I am a stranger to you, to _all_ of you.”

“I had a husband once,” Isobel says, she swallows thickly, forcing herself to breathe. “Max, Michael and I, we think he did to me what Kivar did to you. He was in my head and he controlled me, I don’t even know all the things he did using my body that I don’t even have memories of.”

Vilandra looks horrified and so angry. “Tell me he’s dead or tell me that the council brought him up on charges, so you could deliver his sentence.”

“He’s gone.”

Vilandra reaches out a tentative hand and Isobel takes it, gripping it tightly. She wants to hug her, but she can remember those first days after they’d found out what Noah had done to her, he’d been gone, and Max had been gone and she didn’t want anyone, not even Michael, touching her.

“Zan is having one of our mind healers come sit with me tomorrow, to see what damage Kivar has wrought and what we can do to rectify it,” Vilandra says quietly. “You can join us if you like? It might help to settle your mind.”

Isobel nods once and they sit there in silence, Vilandra keeps her hand within her own and breathes, Isobel breathes with her as the sit in the silence of the room.

 

********************************

 

Vilandra doesn’t want him or Rath to go with her to talk to the mind healers, apparently she wants to take Isobel and it’s the first thing she’s asked for since they got her back so Zan nods and watches his wife and his daughter head four buildings over with Stass and Tare shadowing them.

Once they’re out of eye sight he corners Rath in their room, just because Rath hasn’t voiced that he’s feeling neglected doesn’t mean that Zan doesn’t feel like he’s neglecting him with almost all his focus having been on Vilandra.

So he shuts their door and backs Rath against a wall, it feels like _ages_ since he’s had Rath pulled tight against him, mouth against his. Rath just holds him, hands pushing up under his shirt, nails digging into his skin. Zan shudders against him and he doesn’t know if he can articulate how much he wants Rath in their bed, warm bare skin against his, body and mind open beneath him.

How much he just _wants_.

Rath starts moving forward, forcing Zan to take steps back and he takes them, trusting that Rath won’t have them falling to the ground, he feels the bed against the back of his legs and he goes down willingly, Rath following him down.

Legs spread so Rath can settle between them and they can grind together, clothing still a barrier between them and Zan thinks it would be nothing to slide off his pants, to get his hands moving to push down Rath’s.

Rath does it instead, biting a kiss against his lips and then pushing himself away so he can stand at the edge at the edge of the bed, slowly pulling off his shirt and pants as Zan watches and breathes, then realizes he could be shedding his own clothing.

His movements are swift, eyes not leaving the slow motions of Rath undressing in front of him.

When he drops his shirt, he smirks at Zan, running long fingers over himself and Zan would likely be embarrassed and would never admit to the sound that escapes him if it were to have happened in public. He sits up in the bed and draws his hands up Rath’s legs, pressing his lips to the smooth skin of his stomach.

One of Rath’s hands settle on the back of his head, stroking through his hair gently as he kisses a meandering path to where Rath is still stroking himself gently. When Zan takes him into his mouth Rath makes a noise that is half gasp half moan, hand stilling on the back of his head, Zan drags his tongue up the underside of him, lets one of his hands travel between Rath’s thighs and presses fingers against him.

Rath swears at him, a curse in some language that Zan either doesn’t speak or Rath has never taught him the fun words for, and Zan would grin but instead he takes him back in his mouth.

“Zan,” Rath moans, and he winds his fingers in Zan’s hair pulling him back enough that he drops from Zan’s mouth. Zan looks up at him and he doesn’t know what picture he makes but Rath’s eyes are wide, pupils blown.

Zan bites his lip as Rath bends to kiss him, moves up the bed as Rath climbs onto it, straddling his legs and reaching across the bed to try and grab at the bottle of lube that Zan had left on the side table helpfully when he knew he meant to seduce Rath at some point during the day.

Zan holds onto his legs helpfully and doesn’t reach to touch or stroke him no matter how much he itches to have his fingers wrapped around him, after Rath growls at him to “just wait a minute” as he pours lube over his own fingers.

He would love to see the sight of Rath stretching himself open, instead he lays there, dragging restless hands over Rath’s thighs, maneuvering closer and closer to where one of his most favorite parts of Rath is hard and leaking against his belly.

It’s not nearly long enough, Zan would have taken longer, would have slowly worked his way up to four fingers and likely had Rath growling at him to “hurry the fuck up”, but Rath grips him in lube wet fingers and sinks down on him way faster then Zan is prepared for.

He’s barely stretched himself and Zan has to close his eyes and hold tight to Rath’s legs to try and keep him from moving; he’s going to come immediately which may have been Rath’s plan all along when he finally opens his eyes and sees Rath smirking down at him.

He doesn’t like this position, it leaves all the control up to Rath who doesn’t even have to brace his hands on the bed in order to start moving, he moves in waves and Zan just holds on as Rath takes his pleasure from his body and drags Zan along with him.

“Love you,” he gasps and Rath smiles at him, leans down, finally bracing his hands on either side of his head and kissing him sweetly. He rolls to the side onto his back, Zan slipping out of him as he moves and Zan doesn’t waste the time to think just rolls on top of him, driving back in and he can feel Rath’s legs hook around his.

“Love you,” Rath murmurs as Zan kisses him, their bodies moving together and as much as he loves Vilandra, loves having Vilandra back and safe, there is a part of him that misses the freedom of being able to roll over in bed and make love to Rath when the sky is still dark and the air is still.

He comes and Rath comes minutes later with both their hands wrapped around him. He curls up next to him, rubbing come into his skin and luxuriating in Rath pressing kisses to his temple.

“It’ll be okay,” Rath murmurs against his skin. “We’ll have stolen moments like this until she’s ready to talk about where we go from here.”

“It was easy with Mara,” Zan says, he knows he sounds petulant, like a child that is being held to a schedule that they don’t agree with.

“Mara knew what she was getting herself into,” Rath says. “She knew I was already bonded to you, you introduced us after all. And though we talked at the beginning if we were to ever be bonded if she would be amenable to opening our bed to you and she was; I don’t think she thought that would ever be a thing that would happen. She adored you, she thought you had a kind heart.”

Zan laughs, even to his ears it sounds sad.

“Vilandra and I had a conversation like that after _we_ first bonded,” he thinks it was Vilandra having that conversation with him, he doesn’t think if Kivar had been in control of her then if that conversation would have gone as well as it had.

“See, we’ll be okay, she needs time, we need time,” Rath says. “When we’re home, on Antar, that will be soon enough to determine if Vilandra and I will be able to bond and if she will join us in our bed together or if your relationship with your wife will stay separate from ours.”

“You sound so sure,” Zan says and he lifts his head, so he can look directly at Rath. There is no hesitation, no doubt, nothing that would scream that his words are anything but the truth.

“Vilandra and I were friends once, without the shade’s interference maybe we will be able to be more now,” Rath says and he smiles gently at him, kisses him sweetly.

“I love you,” he murmurs, and he links their fingers together, closes his eyes.

“I love you, too.”

 

********************************

 

Their conversation on Alex’s new leg that morning had been comprised of a shrug and a comment of ‘illegal surgery’ and when Michael had kept pushing he finally got a ‘ask Ryder’ which are not answers no matter how much Alex seemed to think the topic was closed.

So Michael corners Bren because his dads had disappeared into their bedroom and he’s _not_ interrupting them.

Alex has been dragged along behind him because Michael has Alex’s hand firmly gripped within his because he doesn’t trust Alex to hide with his new leg somewhere that Michael can’t find him.

“Healers,” he says, he’s slightly out of breath because Bren has been hard as hell to find even though the compound is really not that big, they find him on the ship, which logically should probably have been the first place that he looked since that seems to be where everyone is right now.

“Are you injured?” Bren asks and his eyes are wide and assessing, like if he looks hard enough he’ll figure out where he’s hurt and how bad the injury is.

“Alex’s leg,” Michael waves, “the prosthetic, they did something to it.”

Bren looks at Alex, looks down at his legs which are covered by pants and not visible and then back up at Alex who shrugs and continues to look unconcerned.

“Okay?” Bren looks between them and he looks slightly confused, like he’s not sure what the issue is. His expression matches Alex’s which Michael doesn’t find comforting at all.

“I have a healer in one of med rooms,” Bren says slowly, and he leads the way, down hallways that Michael barely remembers traversing with his dad and when they get to their destination Bren shoves past and into the room the healer must have been set up in.

No one stops them, and Michael tries to ignore the slight bows he gets when people see him, Alex is smirking next to him which he also ignores.

“You know we’re trying to set up a schedule,” the healer says, then he sees Michael and flushes a bright red. “Sorry your highness, didn’t see you.”

“This shouldn’t take long,” Bren says. “The… when they had Captain Manes they replaced his prosthetic with an artificial limb, Michael has some concerns that I’m hoping you can put to rest.”

The healer looks at Bren who just shrugs at him and takes a step back to take up position by the door, the healer looks between Michael and Alex.

“Okay,” he says. “My name is Baren the ninth, you may call me Baren or Healer Baren if you are more comfortable. Can I ask you to remove your pants or is that too presumptuous?”

Alex shrugs then looks down at where Michael is still gripping his hand. “You have to let go,” he murmurs, and Michael lets out a breath that likely sounds like a sigh and let Alex’s fingers go.

“If you are not comfortable having me examine your bonded your highness, I can call another Healer in?” Baren asks and Michael shakes his head while Alex removes his shoes and pushes his pants down, he’s wearing a pair of Michael’s boxers which he is not very successful in hiding the resulting grin at seeing.

Alex hands his pants off to Michael to clutch at and Baren indicates the high bed in the corner for him to sit on.

In the ships glaring bright lights his leg looks even more alien. But Baren looks as unconcerned as Alex when he presses against where the leg fits seamlessly up against where Michael remembers his stump ending.

Michael takes a step closer and sets Alex’s pants down on the bed behind him, touching Alex’s back. If there wasn’t so obvious a difference between the two Michael wouldn’t even be able to tell that wasn’t the leg that Alex was born with.

“There doesn’t seem to be any signs of rash or swelling,” Baren says. “Are you experiencing any discomfort?”

“No, it’s…” Alex bites his lip. “How do I take it off? You know, care for it? Every other prosthetic I’ve had there’s been limitations as to how long I can wear it and as the swelling went down there were new ones to try and…” he drawls off as Baren is staring at him in confusion.

“You don’t take it off?” Baren says slowly, “I’m not sure why you would want to? It looks like the surgery was a success, without running a complete diagnostic on it, visibly it looks as if the initial integrations with your nervous system are on track. If you want, we can do a scan and see if any surprises were left behind…”

“If you’re talking about the kill switch I disarmed that before we escaped,” Alex waves, “It would have been bad to have been in the process of escaping and have the leg stop working,” he says when he realizes that Michael and Bren both have mirrored expressions of horror on their faces.

“Then it should be fine, we’ll give it another few days, then we’ll re-evaluate and if it makes you more comfortable we can look at skin coverings so it’s not so obvious,” Baren shrugs.

“So he doesn’t need to do anything special with it?” Michael presses.

“If I had been involved in the surgery I would be monitoring his general health, check ins every month or so to evaluate the nervous system integration, possibly some sessions with a mind healer just for mental health checks.”

“Okay,” Michael nods and Alex rolls his eyes at him and hops off the bed, Michael still holds out his hands to help steady him. He doesn’t think that will be a habit that stops any time soon regardless of Alex’s shiny new leg. He hands his pants back and Alex pulls them on.

“Thank you,” Michael nods and Baren smiles at him, smiles even wider when Alex takes his hand back and leans slightly into him.

 

********************************

 

Isobel isn’t sure what she expected a mind healer to be like, probably more like the therapists that she’s been talking through her trauma with.

“You don’t need to participate if you don’t feel comfortable,” the older woman whose name is Karo says.

“Can I just watch for now?” Isobel asks and Karo smiles and nods and Vilandra squeezes her hand. They sit across from each other on mats on the floor, her mother periodically cries and Karo makes murmuring sounds of encouragement.

They never say a word out loud and the hours go quickly, quickly enough that Isobel hasn’t even realized that _several_ hours have passed until her stomach growls at the missed lunch.

“I think that is enough for today,” Karo says and Vilandra lets out a smooth exhale and opens eyes that look much clearer to Isobel’s untrained eyes. “How do you feel my lady?”

Her mother sits there for a moment and then smiles, wiping at her eyes. “Better? More stable definitely.”

“Good, your bond is recovering nicely. You and Zan should meditate together, maybe convince Rath to join you if you do mean to attempt to bond at some point in the future,” Karo says.

Vilandra nods and they both smoothly come to their feet, Isobel touching her mother’s arm, letting her take her hand.

“Thank you, Healer Karo,” Vilandra says and her voice is so kind, so sweet.

Isobel aches for the mother they were kept from as children, she thinks _this_ Vilandra would have been right behind her and Max and Michael when they got up to mischief and would likely have been hiding the evidence from their other parents with a smirk or disarming smile.

“What does it feel like?” she asks as they walk the short distance back to the house.

“It’s peaceful, it’s like having someone help you sort through things and events and then place them back into the order they should be, so you can process them. And smudge the events that will cause pain or discomfort while you’re trying to work through them,” Vilandra thinks for a moment.

“Next time,” Isobel decides, she’s let the memory of Noah dictate how she’s led her life for so long now. If anything can get her past it, will allow her to touch Rosa and not wonder if she’s doing it because that’s what Noah wanted or if that’s what _she_ wants, she’s willing to do it.

Vilandra smiles at her and the front door opens as they reach it, Zan looks between them with an expectant look and Isobel smiles as Vilandra cups his face in one hand and presses a gentle kiss to his lips.

When Isobel looks past her parents kissing in the doorway into the house she can see her other father standing just the slightest distance away, grinning, looking happy and relaxed.

Zan wraps his arms around Vilandra and hugs her tightly, when he releases her so she can enter the house, she walks right into Rath’s arms.

She doesn’t kiss him, not the way she did with Zan, but she brushes her fingers across his lips and smiles at him, he cradles her head in his hands and presses his lips to her forehead.

Later she’ll tell Rosa how easy they were with each other, that she never thought she’d be able to _see_ the way the bond lights up between any of them, but she swore she could see the one strung between Vilandra and Zan, and she could see the _possibility_ of one dancing in the air between Vilandra and Rath.

 

********************************

 

 


	24. Chapter 24

**Moving Forward 24/?**

 

Michael thinks he should be worried for how easy it is to get used to having Alex beside him. But just over two weeks later and when he glances over to the right he expects to see and feel Alex next to him, when he goes to bed at night it’s with Alex tucked in beside him.

Sometimes they make love, sometimes they lay there and touch each other, hands stroking over skin, getting used to each other in a way they were never really allowed the time to do before.

He sleeps through the night, with Alex warm and safe beside him.

But two weeks later a young woman in Air Force dress blues shows up at their door and Rath lets her in and Alex seems to be expecting her judging by the resigned expression on his face. He at least gets a kiss goodbye and I’ll try and call you later before he leaves.

“Washington calls you don’t get to say no,” Ryder says at dinner that night when he notices the empty chair at dinner and Michael’s sour face. He disappears before the sky goes dark.

A day after that comes a formal request for an Antarian delegation to meet with a group of people from a lot of different countries, probably to determine how much of a threat they pose and what they can offer them in return.

Michael, Max and Isobel aren’t involved in the discussion as to how to deal with the request, it’s behind closed doors with just their dads, Vilandra and assorted members of what he’s figured out is basically their dads’ council.

When they come out Rath rushes off and Zan doesn’t look surprised to see them hovering.

“Rath is going to go, play the General,” he says when he gestures them into the mostly empty room. Vilandra is the only one still in there with her head bent close to one of her ladies, Aria, Michael thinks her name is.

“You’re not going?” Max asks in surprise.

“I recommended against it,” Nita says, she skirts around them, sitting down at the table across from Vilandra. “Alex has a bad feeling and Ryder thinks there’s something fishy going on, I trust my boys, so I recommended they send General Rath and two others only.”

“What exactly is it that you do?” Isobel asks, and when Michael looks over at the tone in Isobel’s voice she can see her eyes narrowed at Alex’s mom.

“On Antar we would have called her a Spymaster,” Vilandra says, Aria touches her shoulder, bows slightly to Zan and leaves. “I don’t know what you would call her here.”

“Officially I work for the NSA as an analyst, lots of paper, very boring,” Nita says with a grin. “Officially I’m sitting in a dark office surrounded by files and I’m absolutely, positively _nowhere near_ Roswell, New Mexico.”

 

********************************

 

Rath leaves with Bren and Aria in tow, all of them in uniforms that Vilandra hasn’t seen in what feels like forever.

She’s not sure where they found the uniform for Aria, though there’d been a trunk that Stass, Tasia and Aria had squirreled pieces of their shared history in, she could have constructed it from what remained of their fleeing from Antar.

Rath and Bren she knows probably kept changes of clothing in their quarters on the Vorimir, she’d forgotten what a striking picture Rath makes in his formal uniform, it makes her want in ways she hasn’t felt in a long time.

“He’s just so fetching…” Zan mutters as the three get into a car that she knows Nita is already in, Vilandra agrees heartily and leans into her husbands’ side, tucks her head against his shoulder as they watch him go.

“He knows it as well,” Vilandra says and Zan laughs, kissing the top of her head.

“That he does.”

Tyrel and Tare come forward as the dust from the car leaving dies down and they stand there.

“Make sure the ships are ready,” Zan says, “If we need to flee suddenly, if this meeting goes the way that the Captain’s mother fears that it will I don’t want us to be scrambling at the last minute. Inventory our supplies, replenish anything that we are in danger of running out of before reaching Antar if it comes to it; keep everyone as close as reasonable and still complete tasks.”

“Yes sir,” they both bow slightly and head off into different directions.

“You should talk to Rosa and Liz,” he says gently to Max and Isobel, he doesn’t look over at Michael because while the words haven’t been spoken they all know that when they leave Alex will be on the ship with them.

Likely his brother and quite possibly his mother as well.

“They won’t leave Arturo here alone,” Isobel says and Max nods in agreement, standing close to his sister.

“It’s his choice of course, does he not wish to travel with us?” Zan asks and Vilandra nods. They don’t know when or if they’ll return here, especially if these talks go badly. To leave family behind when they have more than enough space and resources for them to come…

“Is that an option?” Max asks with some surprise, “I didn’t think…”

“Of course, they’re his children, if he wishes to accompany us so they’re not separated by that distance then it is an option open to him, to them. We have enough room, we could take more than just them if there are others that are amenable and you or they don’t wish to be parted,” Zan says carefully.

He doesn’t think about all those that have been lost, that they’ve not found.

The three children exchange looks, eyebrows raising, mouths twitching, Vilandra relaxes into the curve of Zan’s arm as they wait.

“Maria,” Max says, to which Michael rolls his eyes and Isobel huffs a breath, “Cameron,” Michael responds with a half smirk and Isobel rolls her eyes at the both of them, “Kyle.”

“Only two of those names are ones I’m familiar with,” Zan says. Cameron is, Vilandra thinks, Jenna Cameron who was taken when Alex was.

“Maria is a woman that Michael was involved with when he and Alex were separated,” Max says evenly.

“We’re not involved anymore,” Michael rushes to say, which Vilandra doesn’t think _needs_ to be said as he’s spent almost every waking minute possible with Alex since their arrival.

Plus Michael has no second bond, she’s not sure he could ever even have a second bond with the way his bond with Alex seems to encompass his entire mindscape.

“She’s childhood friends with Liz, Rosa and Alex,” Max says. “Chances are at the very least Liz and Rosa won’t want to leave her behind.”

"And she's not leaving her mom behind," Michael says, "so someone is going to be disappointed."

"Her mom is sick," Max explains with a twist of his mouth, "I tried, when Michael and Maria were trying to, you know, date or whatever, he told her about us and we tried to help Mimi because it seemed like the right thing to do at the time, but nothing worked..."

"Because she's not sick," Isobel says, she frowns. "There's nothing physically wrong with her at least, it's all mental, in her head, do you think Karo would be able to..."

"I'm sure Healer Karo would have no issue with looking at her mind to see if there is anything to be done," Vilandra nods and Isobel's lips curve into a soft smile in return.

 

********************************

 

Maria is a pretty young woman with striking features and a strong heart, he can see why she would have caught Michael’s eye.

Liz brings Maria and her mother Mimi out and Vilandra must have had some advance notice of their arrival as she has Healer Karo standing to the side when the women depart the vehicle.

"Hello," Karo steps forward and she bows slightly to them in welcome, Maria looks overwhelmed even with Liz standing at her side, her mother in stark contrast is relaxed and calm.

"Hello," Mimi says in a soft voice, Karo reaches out a hand to her and Mimi takes it.

He doesn’t know what Karo and Vilandra had discussed when Vilandra had invited her to meet the car, but he’s sure it will involve Karo doing a brief scan of Mimi’s mind to see if there’s anything that can be done for her

"Oh love," Karo says, and she cups Mimi's face in her other hand and smiles gently at her. Stroking her cheek gently with her thumb.

"Someone has left a mess in her mind," Karo says to the rest of them, still touching Mimi gently and not looking away. "Most of it on purpose, she was hiding something or someone and she let someone in her mind to make sure she had no information to share either voluntarily or involuntarily."

"Can you help her?" Maria asks, she has her arms cross over her chest and looks equal measures hopeful and terrified.

"Yes, of course, it will take some time, it was good work though hastily done," Karo says. "I can start with her now if you'd like to talk about your future plans?"

"Yeah, yes," Maria says, she reaches down and latches onto Liz's hand as Karo leads Mimi away.

 

********************************

 

“I can’t believe you’re okay with me coming,” Maria says after they’ve spent enough time in the house talking out the options.

He knows that the chief reason that anyone extra is being invited to go with them is partly because his dads don’t want anyone left behind that could be used as bait to get them to return if the talks that his dad and Alex are a part of go badly.

He checks his phone and there’s still no text from Alex.

“Liz and Rosa consider you family,” Michael says by way of explanation. It’s the only one he’s got at the moment.

Maria stares at him with narrowed eyes.

“I should have never…” she mutters, “’It’s over Maria, he doesn’t love me Maria, it’s not a thing Maria, I don’t know why he fled town and won’t answer any of our calls Maria. God, I hope he knows how much of moron you are.”

“I love him,” Michael says softly and Maria huffs a sigh at him but comes to sit next to him regardless.

“Aliens not on this fucking planet know that you fucking idiot,” she grumbles. “And knowing _that_ would have been helpful two years ago before I completely torpedoed a relationship with a guy that I consider a brother, even for sex that was really fucking phenomenal at the time but not the worth the mess it left us to deal with.”

 

********************************

 

She has sent Max to sleep on a couch somewhere else, though he’s fairly sure that Zan has found a room for him and Liz to sleep in. She has Rosa curled up next to her in bed, arm over her chest and her breathing is even and steady.

She doesn’t know why she can’t sleep. Though it might be the worry of the unknown.

She’s packed a bag, repacked the bag, tomorrow she’ll likely dump the entire thing out and repack it again.

She has no idea what she’ll need, what will be available or not available for them when they reach Antar.

They have spaceships, so that means likely they’ll have running water and most basic amenities but what if she doesn’t like the shampoo or the soap is too rough or…

“Are you going to just not sleep?” Rosa asks, her fingers slip under the shirt she’s wearing, sliding across skin and Isobel shivers slightly. It’s dark in the room but when she looks down she can see Rosa blinking back at her.

She kisses her gently, smooth soft lips under hers and Rosa’s lips part on a sigh. Rosa’s hands skim up her sides and cup the curves of her breasts as she nips at her lower lip.

“I want to put my mouth on you,” Isobel says and Rosa moans softly, they’ve not done that yet since they started over again.

And Isobel has only the vaguest of memories of having Rosa laid out under her, mouth and fingers on her, she can’t tell if it’s her memories or something that bled over from Noah.

She _thinks_ they’re hers, the sensations, feelings, she’s _sure_ that was _her_ making Rosa moan and arch and sigh like that, shattering her to pieces under her hands and mouth.

She’s still kept them back to kissing, hands pressed against each other and sometimes within each other. She kind of wants something special for them to share when they get to Antar.

“I thought we were waiting,” Rosa whispers, her hands press against Isobel’s face and Isobel smiles at her, settling her hands low on her back.

Rosa kisses her cheek, her nose, her lips, settles against her with her face pressed against her neck.

Isobel closes her eyes, hands pressed to Rosa’s warm skin and breathes. Counts back from ten, then twenty and just keeps breathing.

 

********************************

 

They all have bags ready, Vilandra counts them and there’s one for each of them, and it looks as if Rath had either already packed a bag prior to leaving or Zan had packed one for him. They wait patiently with those bags for Tyrel to come to them.

She’d thought Tyrel would be the one to go with Rath to the talks, but he’d left him back and took Bren instead.

She knows now that Tyrel was left because Rath had already left room assignments and Tyrel has been leading groups to the ships, getting those belongings going with them packed into quarters, she wonders if she’ll have her own quarters or if she’ll share with her ladies.

They’ve already had to explain to their children why they wouldn’t be going into stasis for the trip, their first time was fleeing for an unknown planet, this time they know it will take 32 days to reach Antar from Earth.

She wonders how badly the pilots of the Vorimir had fought when they’d realized that everyone was grouped on one ship. She thinks it likely if Rath made these arrangements they wouldn’t even have voiced a protest.

They follow dutifully along behind Tyrel and find their children grouped in quarters surrounding Rath’s, Maria and her mother sharing a room across from Isobel and Rosa.

Kyle in a room by himself across from Michael and Alex, his mother is not coming he has informed them and Kyle seems both saddened by this and not.

Jenna is not there, Vilandra believes her to be at the meetings that Rath and Alex are at. Though Tyrel comments that she has been placed in a room across from Max and Liz, she’s fairly sure that Jenna will be _in_ that room with Max and Liz by their journey’s end if not before the journey even begins.

She and Zan are shown to Rath’s quarters, Tyrel says nothing as they press their hands to the scanner and it allows them both admittance, he just bows low as the door closes behind them.

She doesn’t know what it means, and she blinks tears away as she stands in the middle of the room that Rath had spent much of his time in when he was away from them.

She thinks if she goes to the bed she could press her face to his pillow and smell him, if she goes to his locker she’ll find his uniforms hanging there and they’ll smell like him as well.

“I can ask Tyrel to find…”

“No,” Vilandra says, she sets her bag down on the floor by the table, “no,” she says again, and when she turns to Zan, he pulls her into his arms. Sits on the bed with her sprawled across his legs and presses his face to her shoulder.

“I love you,” she murmurs and Zan lifts his face and looks at her, eyes dark and she kisses him. She strokes a hand down his hair, she wants to make love with her husband without the specter of Kivar looming over them; she wants to watch her husband and Rath make love and bask in their adoration of each other.

She wants to take Zan within her body and she wants to touch Rath and know he wants to touch her back. She wants Rath to make love with her and finally be able to bond with her the way that she and Zan had dreamed of when they were children who were thinking on what they thought were silly fantasies.

She wants, and it terrifies her to think that maybe they don’t want the same thing.

“We’re okay,” Zan soothes, and he urges her to move, to straddle his legs and she can feel that he’s hard, it’s been days since Rath left and he’s so gentle with her that the most they do when they go to bed is curl up together and sleep.

He’s not pressed her to allow him to make love to her, to fuck her the way they did when they were newly bonded.

Gods the way she loves him, his lips are open against hers and she’s grinding down on him, his hands are tight on her waist when he comes with a groan against her lips.

He laughs as she starts giggling, she can’t herself, it’s like they’re teen agers again and he lays back on the bed, drawing her with him. Arms wrapped around her.

“I love you too,” he says, and she kisses him again. She lays her head against the pillows and they _do_ smell like Rath, that expensive scent that Zan continually gave him as gifts until Rath started using it just so he could stop looking like he was stockpiling it.

“I miss him,” she says and when she looks over she can see Zan’s nose twitching and a faint smile on his face.

“I do too,” he says quietly. He presses a hand to her the side of her head and kisses her cheek.

“You’re okay with sharing quarters with us? Rath thought you would be, but if you would rather have your own or stay with one of your ladies…”

“I’d like to share with you,” she says, “I know Rath and I aren’t bonded but if we mean to in the future, I think this would be a good way to see if we can make it work, right?”

“Right.”

 

********************************

 

 


	25. Chapter 25

**Moving Forward 25/?**

 

Alex and his dad return two days after they finish prepping the ships, they’ve been gone for eight days.

Alex looks worn down and frustrated, eyes tired like he’s not been getting enough sleep and his dad just looks resigned, no frustration on his face just an expression that indicates he’d expected nothing less then what he’s had to deal with.

Maria holds back, looking unsure of her welcome but Mimi, who has been working with Karo daily has no such qualms. Just walks right up to Alex and wraps him in a hug that it takes Alex only seconds to return.

He clings to her before he lets her go and she cups his face in her hands and presses kisses to his cheeks.

“We’re going to see the stars,” she says, and Alex laughs a little.

“It seems we are,” he says, his eyes meet Michael’s over Mimi’s shoulder, glance past him at Maria then drift away. Distracted by the sound of shock Mimi makes when she sees Nita getting out of the car behind Ryder.

“Oh my god,” Mimi says. “You get over here and give me a hug right now,” she demands, and Nita laughs but obliges. Ryder also gets a warm hug, briefer then the tight one that she’d enveloped Alex in.

When Mimi is suitably distracted Michael pulls Alex into a hug and a kiss, clinging to him. He’d already gotten a hug from his dad when Mimi had been holding onto Alex, but when he looks back his dads and Vilandra are gone, likely into the house.

Possibly to their room.

When he turns to lead Alex into the house Maria is still there, biting her lip and looking pensive.

“Hi Maria,” Alex says finally, when they stand there in silence for long enough that Michael will swear later that an actual _fucking_ tumbleweed rolled across the porch.

“I’m…”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Alex says.

“I kind of feel like I do, that I should.”

“And I’m telling you that you don’t,” Alex glances over at him then focuses on Maria. “We weren’t together, you didn’t do anything wrong, I’d just thought…” Alex shakes his head, “it doesn’t matter what I thought, he made a choice at the time and that choice was you.”

“It was the wrong one,” Maria says softly. “I _knew_ you were in love with him, I _knew_ that even if he was telling me it was over that _you_ didn’t think it was… I just wanted something for me for once.”

He might not as well even be there, he thinks if he walked away neither of them would even notice.

“And you deserve that, I want that for you,” Alex says.

“Not when it costs me my family,” Maria says. “You’re one of my best friends, you and Liz and Rosa, you’re my family and when mom asked me where you were, why you hadn’t come to visit I couldn’t even tell her the truth. Just told her you were busy, and you’d come eventually…”

“You’re coming with us?” Alex asks, he steps closer to her and they stare at each other.

“They offered, I told them only if you were okay with it,” Maria says, she takes a breath.

“Then I guess you’re coming with us.”

 

********************************

 

He slept on the plane, which was a good idea at the time since it kept him from having to talk to his mom or Ryder, but also meant that when he’s finally able to go to bed with Michael that he’s wide awake.

He brushes his fingers across Michael’s face and contemplates leaving a note, but he hopes Michael knows that he’s in this for the long haul.

He thinks he’ll just go down to the kitchen and get some water, maybe play on his phone for a few minutes then go back up, curl back into Michael’s side and soak in the feel of his skin against his.

The light is on in the kitchen and when he peeks in he can see Rath, Zan and Vilandra sitting in chairs near each other.

“Come in Captain,” Rath says and he sounds amused when Alex comes in, he wishes he’d put on sweat pants instead of the shorts, but no one comments on his leg.

“Rath was just telling us of the meetings you were forced to endure,” Zan says, he’s leaning into Rath’s side, Rath’s arm over his shoulder.

“I was telling them they attempted to imply that the granting of land for us to live on meant that we now owed someone a ship, though no one could agree on who should actually have _control_ of the ship,” Rath says, he sounds much less infuriated then he did when they were waiting for their plane to board and he was venting in very low tones at him.

“Don’t forget about the weapons,” Alex reminds him, “I wouldn’t trust a single person in that room with weapons that you could provide, let alone a ship.”

“I told them that we’d be leaving,” Rath says, “that our world was still habitable and then they tried to use the Captain’s bond with Michael as a means to continue trying to barter, like they meant to hold him hostage if they didn’t get something tangible from us out of it.”

“Apparently my dowry price is a small ship and 100 weapons of differing sizes and capabilities,” Alex says stiffly. That had been humiliating, the fact that he was something that someone had thought was a way to continue attempting negotiations with the Antarians.

He’s not even sure how those assembled even _knew_ about the fact he was bonded to Michael.

He’s thankful that they didn’t seem to know about Liz or Rosa and their bonds, or they would have been trying to use Arturo against them as well.

“You’re worth more than that, Rath did you really let him believe that he was worth nothing more than a ship and some guns?” Vilandra says, she looks offended on his behalf and Alex laughs. She smiles at him and she looks so much more relaxed, so much _happier_ then she did when he left.

She’s playing with the fingers on the hand that Rath has draped over her shoulder.

“It was about how I expected things to go,” Alex sighs. And it had been, though it had also gone better in some regards, as he hadn’t had to figure out how to smuggle a weapon in so he could get Rath and the others out if things turned violent or someone tried to make a move to take them.

“We’ve already got the ships stocked with supplies,” Zan says. “Rath left a very long to do list for us to complete while he was gone.”

“And your Sergeant Talbot and his wife and young daughter arrived with the members of yours and Ms. Cameron’s team that are planning to join us.”

That had been a hasty conversation with the Major, Jenna and their team leaders. They will officially be considered Ambassadors of Earth, he thinks it’s the Major’s way of showing ‘look they’re still giving us something’ even if it’s not the futuristic high-tech ships and weapons they really want.

“I’ve got them all assigned to the Martel,” Rath says as Alex taps his fingers against the table. “Except for Ms. Cameron, Max insisted she be on the Vorimir.”

 

********************************

 

Tyrel meets them in the kitchen and he looks harried and annoyed, Alex just sighs at the expression on his face.

“Do I at least have time to drink my coffee?” he looks so mournful.

“You’re up finally, good, I need to you to come to the Vorimir and test the door locks,” Tyrel says, he has a pad in his hand that Michael has never seen before and he seems to be tapping at the screen. “And I’d bring your bag if it’s ready, General Rath will be making the call soon.”

“Can I bring my coffee?” Alex asks again.

“I’ll put it in a travel mug while you get your bag,” Michael says as he pushes back from the table.

He’d idly wondered where everyone was, they’d been alone in the house when he woke in the morning, Alex sitting up in the bed with Michael’s head on his stomach and his hand combing through his hair. He’d been naked and warm and it had been the best kind of contentment to press his lips against sun warm skin and have Alex slide down the bed so they could wrap their arms around each other and kiss slowly.

No rush, just the two of them alone together.

They’d taken a shower together, longer than the ones that Michael normally allows himself but the picture that Alex made, wet and smiling at him, he doesn’t think anyone could blame him.

They drive out to the ship and it’s bustling with activity, everyone moving with purpose and the air is electrified. Most of the people they see have smiles on their faces and he knows it’s the excitement of going home.

He doesn’t even really _remember_ Antar and he’s excited.

Tyrel leads them to the hallways containing their rooms, though Michael has traversed this path a number of times in the last couple of days he could lead the way. But he also knows Tyrel has a system and he lets the man explain where everyone is situated and Alex snorts.

“No one freaked out about the entire royal family being contained in one hallway?” he asks pointedly.

“If they did, they did it when the General first set up the quarter assignments,” Tyrel says. “I’m told he was adamant that all his children were staying with eyesight of him for the duration.”

Alex snorts and presses his hand to the panel and the door opens quietly.

“The General has asked that once everyone is on board that you stay on board,” he says. “We’ll be closing bay doors shortly and we won’t re-open them until we reach Antar.”

“Are my mom and brother on board?” Alex asks as Michael takes his bag from his hand and sets it right inside the doorway while Tyrel scrolls through his pad.

“Corridor B19, I can take you if you want to see where it’s located in relation to your own quarters?”

“No, ships not that big, I’m sure I’ll be able to find them,” Alex says and Tyrel nods and bows slightly to them.

Alex watches him go and then steps into the room, the door closing quietly behind him.

Michael sits on the bed, watches him study the room, the closed door that Michael knows leads to a small bathroom that contains a sink, toilet and standup shower. No baths for them for the duration not that either of them were ever much inclined.

“You okay?” he asks quietly, Alex has a look in his eyes that screams that he’s overwhelmed even though the rest of him looks calm and relaxed.

“Yeah,” he says and he lets out a long breath and then comes to sit next to Michael on the bed, leaning into his side slightly. “Just weird to think that in little over a month I’ll be the alien in our relationship.”

 

********************************

 

Rath sits in his console chair and watches as the bridge crew does their last-minute checks, he turns in the chair and Zan smiles at him, Vilandra is clutching at his hand.

Around them his children are all assembled, Michael and Alex seem to have wandered in since the last time he looked. The excitement on Michael’s face reminds him of when he was a small child and the first time that Mara allowed him to take their son on a ship.

“Head count,” he asks turning back to the main screen.

“Vorimir registers 238 life signs,” someone calls out, “Martel registers 146 life signs,” comes over the comms.

“All heads accounted for,” Rath says. “Close bay doors and secure for lift off.”

“Yes General,” comes quickly from his bridge and over the comms.

“Simhone take us up,” he says as he leans back, Simhone’s fingers dance across keys in front of him.

The moment of ascent is something he thinks he’ll never tire of. He knows it’s not possible, they have atmospheric systems that keep them feeling any of the changes from ascent, and breaking the atmosphere, but he still sometimes feels like the air in the bridge changes.

The ground moves slowly away, the air shimmering as they move. He doesn’t let out the breath he wasn’t aware he was holding until he can see the dark of space and the Earth is becoming smaller in the main window.

“Set coordinates for Antar,” he says and he doesn’t even try to keep the smile back, Zan has moved from his place against the wall out of the way and is touching his shoulder, he reaches up and grips his fingers.

“Course for Antar plotted,” Simhone says.

“Verify coordinates,” Rath murmurs.

“Coordinates’ verified,” Vehn says.

It’s a relief to say the words, to know that in just shy of 32 days they’ll be home. They’ll have to air out all the rooms and likely need to clean.

But they’ll be home and he can tumble Zan into _their_ bed and in 32 days he might be able to entice Vilandra to join them.

“Engage drive engines.”

 

********************************

 

 

 


	26. Chapter 26

**Moving Forward 26/?**

 

Vilandra has found a quiet place to watch the ripple of the drive engines, they’re just over a week into the trip and Rath is busy on the bridge being General and Zan has taken to assisting their Healers with random injuries and illnesses because he doesn’t deal well with boredom either.

The children organize field trips around the ship and have spent the majority of the time investigating the corridors and the open rooms. Though it didn’t take long for Alex to get bored of that and demand that Rath put him to work, he doesn’t don a uniform, but the few times she’s ventured onto the bridge while Rath was there she could see his dark head bent over the ship’s computers.

“You okay?” she hears and when she turns she can see Michael standing there alone, she thinks if she says the wrong word that he might flee.

“I’m just watching the ripple of the drive engines,” she says and she looks back out the window. “They’re very soothing.”

She’d had a session with Karo that morning, the healers time is mostly taken up with putting Maria’s mothers mind back to rights, but Vilandra had woken secure in Rath’s arms with Zan pressed tight to her back holding them both.

It had felt right and natural and she’d wanted to kiss Rath awake, she’d wanted Zan to press inside her and make love to her while she did so.

She’d needed Karo to tell her that it was okay to feel desire again, that it wasn’t too soon if she wasn’t feeling like they were pressuring her.

If anything, they’re pressuring her to wait until they get home. She thinks Zan might have plans.

“I tried to build a spaceship once,” he says, she can hear him walking closer though she doesn’t look at him, until he leans against the window beside her.

“Did it not work?” she asks.

“I could never find all the pieces to finish it,” he admits, “and honestly nothing I was building could even come close to this.”

“Well the Vorimir is something of unique ship,” she says. “I remember Rath sketching his dream ship when we were children, he so very badly wanted to be a pilot and not a commander like his father. I think Zan may have saved some of the earlier designs. I will admit that I wish he had gotten his way on the living quarters, they were much bigger in his original sketches,” she says when she sees him looking at her questioningly.

“I like having Alex close,” he says, “it feels like we have less issues with communication when we’re closer like that.”

“It would be nice to have a bath though,” she sighs. “Just 3 more weeks.”

“3 more weeks,” Michael echoes. “I’m kind of…”

“Antar is beautiful, we’ll need to redo your rooms though, none of you are young children any longer,” Vilandra murmurs. She barely remembers their childhood rooms, just knows they all had rooms in the royal residence. The rooms would have been sealed, their belongings will all still be there exactly as they left them.

It makes her heart ache to know that everything that Mara left behind is still there, that Rath and Zan will have to deal with the belongings and memories and she’ll have to deal with the lack of memories and that Mara won’t ever be hers.

“I grieve with you,” she says in a whisper and Michael looks over at her and she tries to offer him a smile but it still breaks her a bit, to not have been able to make that bond with Mara, to give Michael and Max and Isobel the security of knowing that they had four parents that loved them. “For Mara, I grieve with you.”

“I don’t remember her fully,” he says. “Dad says someone blocked off our memories, he wants me to talk to one of the healers when I’m ready… but what if I still don’t remember her?”

“At least you have some memories, I have only slips of time that she’s in before Kivar took everything from me,” she presses her fingers against her eyes and doesn’t look at him. “If your father couldn’t bond with me, then Mara and I…”

A napkin appears in front of her and when she glances over to take it she can see she’s surprised him, that he doesn’t believe that she would have loved his mother.

“You would have…?”

“To close the bond between the four of us, yes,” she holds the napkin tightly in her hand and stares at him, this young man who is her son as much as Max is.

He shares no blood with her, but he’s just as much her child as Max and Isobel. He’s all the best parts of Mara and Rath. “I could have loved her,” she says, and she hopes that there will come a time when he’ll believe in her sincerity.

 

********************************

 

They normally all eat together in the evening, but Michael wasn’t in their quarters when Rath dragged him off the bridge for dinner, so he’d gone on to dinner without him.

Arturo has taken over food preparation out of sheer boredom, even though Alex is sure that he’s been told by both Rath and Zan that there is no need for him to work to earn his keep.

He’s sitting there listening to Rath and Zan talk quietly, and watching Rosa and Isobel be sweet together and the way that Maria’s eyes linger on them every time she looks at them.

Kyle isn’t there, he’s not seen him since breakfast. Max, Liz and Jenna are missing as well, but he saw Jenna go into the quarters that Max and Liz share that afternoon, so he assumes that at the very least those three are all together.

Rath makes a noise and Alex looks up to see Michael and Vilandra walking in together, they look deep in conversation and no one looks distressed. Whatever they’re talking about has Vilandra’s eyes lit up and Michael is smiling and when they finally sit down in their seats with their food Alex just raises an eyebrow.

“We were watching the drive ripples,” Michael shrugs like it’s nothing, like he hadn’t been avoiding Vilandra so much as not actively seeking her out.

Back in their quarters later they’ll sit on their bed facing each other, hands dragging along skin and kissing at times.

The quiet, when they’re alone and the door is locked and they can relearn each other and just touch is one of his most favorite times.

“We just talked,” Michael says, and Alex skims his hands up his sides, bends his head to press his lips against his neck. Michael tilts his head back to give him the access and breathes.

“She kind of implied that her and my mom would have been bonded if the stuff with Kivar hadn’t happened.”

“You don’t believe her?” Alex asks, he draws back so he can look at Michael.

“I do, I just,” Michael’s fingers press against his thighs. “She’s not like what I thought she’d be,” he admits.

“What did you think she’d be like?” Alex puts his mouth back on Michael’s neck, moving up to his ear which he nips at lightly.

“I don’t know, easily manipulatable, because you know, Kivar? But she’s… once she stopped crying and we changed the subject she’s kind of funny and a bit sarcastic? You know she’s planning our weddings?”

“I thought we were already married?” Alex says into Michael’s cheek, Michael’s hands are on his back, trying to urge him onto his lap.

“We are, but apparently there’s also a big ceremony that is supposed to happen, one of us has to wear a skirt though she insists it’s not a skirt. She says she has pictures of my dad’s ceremony, I kind of want to know which one was gullible enough to get conned into wearing a skirt not a skirt for it.”

Michael puts a hand on his cheek and maneuvers him into a kiss, leaning forward until Alex falls onto his back on the bed, cradling Michael’s hips between his thighs. They’ve already made love once, so Michael holds his hips steady and pushes back inside him, this time it’ll be nice and slow and lazy.

Alex digs his fingers into Michael’s skin, kisses him until he can’t breathe, then gasps for breaths against Michael’s cheek as Michael moves slowly, thrusting all the way in and then pulling all the way out and then doing it all over again.

Alex closes his eyes and curves a hand around the back of Michael’s neck to urge him back into kissing him.

When they come within minutes of each other, Alex will drag Michael to their small bathroom and clean them both up, then they’ll curl up in bed under blankets that smell like each other and trade sleepy kisses until they fall asleep.

 

********************************

 

Zan spends his days assisting Karo and Baren with health assessments of those accompanying them on the Vorimir. He knows that healers on the Martel are likely going through the same exercise.

There are mild injuries to be healed over the course of the days as people take on tasks that they might not have been required to do before.

They’ve been enroute to Antar for just over 12 days when Kyle appears in the doorway to the offices they’re sharing. He’s been expecting this since Alex demanded that Rath make use of him, the humans amongst them aren’t dealing well with the forced idle time it seems.

“I know I can’t, you know…” Kyle waves his hands and Zan exchanges a look of confusion with Baren.

“You know your place here isn’t dependent on being useful,” Zan says slowly.

“I’m bored,” Kyle says, “Let me help do something, please?”

“We don’t heal all injuries,” Karo tilts her head at him and smiles. “Sometimes it’s a matter of an injection, or a patch, or just someone to talk.”

“So you’ll find me something to do?”

“We can show you how to run the scanners,” Baren says, “we’ve been updating medical records. And we’ll need to do initial assessments on our additions and create records for them as well. Come back in the morning and we can begin.”

“Thank you,” Kyle looks so grateful, Zan makes a mental note to speak with his son on the state of his relationships with his human companions, most of the time he can be found in the company of Kyle, Liz and Ms. Cameron. He hopes it’s nothing more than boredom.

 

********************************

 

Max is not actually sure when the thing with Kyle became a thing that happened when Jenna wasn’t there, and Liz was more engrossed in the movie playing on her tablet then on the fact that Max and Kyle were having sex mere feet away.

The first time it happens it’s because Jenna had somehow managed to bring a second bag filled with little bottles of liquor to drink as a celebration of ‘we didn’t get fucking shot out of the sky’. He hadn’t even know that was a real fear but looking back he can guess that was why both Alex and Jenna were radiating tension the entire time the Vorimir was lifting off and why his dad had seemed to relax in his chair the further they got off the ground.

She’d been going to share it apparently, but Michael had dragged Alex into their room and Isobel and Rosa went into theirs and he’s not sure where Maria went but she’d disappeared pretty quickly until it was just the four of them.

Drinking little bottles while sitting on the floor, two bottles in and Jenna and Liz were making out on the floor ignoring them, Max knows he could have pressed himself in there. Kissed a back of a neck, curled around one of them.

But Kyle was still there, looking at anything but the picture the two of them made.

“They get like this,” Max would remember saying as he’d pressed another bottle into Kyle’s hands and totally hadn’t thought about how soft they were.

When the world had gone soft and hazy, the floor littered with empty bottles and Kyle’s arm warm against his as they laughed at something he doesn’t even remember there had been Jenna in front of him warm and naked, Liz was in Kyle’s lap moaning into his mouth and Kyle looking directly at him the whole time like he was waiting for him to shut the whole thing down.

The second time it happens he had Liz in his bed, but when he went to pull her to him she batted his hands away muttering, “I’m watching this, go find Jenna or Kyle.”

So he had, there’d be no answer when he tapped on Jenna’s door, the only other room they would be in if they were _actually_ in quarters was Kyle’s so he tried there next. When there was still no answer he'd sort of angrily smacked his hand against the door lock and the door had slid open.

Jenna and Kyle were there, Kyle on the edge of the bed, Jenna in his lap, they’re both still mostly clothed but he could definitely see that he’d interrupted something in process.

He could have just walked away, he probably _should_ have just walked away instead he stepped into the room and the door closed behind him and Jenna smirked at him before she went back to focusing on Kyle’s mouth.

He'd stood there awkwardly for a minute before taking the few steps to them, hands on Jenna’s shoulders, periodically Kyle’s hand would brush against his and something in his skin would itch for more than that brush.

When Jenna tilted her head back so he could kiss her she’d murmured against his lips, “you should kiss him.”

He’d kissed her first just to be contrary, her lips soft and familiar and then before he’d had a chance to second guess himself or her he’d done it. Just a press of their lips together, he didn’t have the first clue how to kiss another guy but the feeling of Kyle’s lips under his had kind of made him want to figure it out.

The third time had been just them, just him and Kyle alone in his room because Jenna is off doing something she’d not told them about and Liz was with Maria and Mimi having a girl’s day which meant she’d come back with painted nails and a wide grin and she'd pointedly told him to hang out with Kyle if he was bored.

Kissing him again had not been among his intentions in inviting Kyle into their quarters to watch a movie. There’d been a time when spending any amount of time alone with the other man would have not have been his first choice.

“The girls want us to at least be friends,” Kyle had muttered. And Max hadn’t said that he’d kind of figured that out for himself, he’d already known that Jenna’d had a thing with Kyle that she wasn’t willing to give up and Liz had always really liked him.

He’s not even sure later who kissed who, he just knows that the movie got pushed aside pretty quickly, still playing in the background but neither of them paying any attention to it.

Kyle's lips were still soft and they traded control of the kiss back and forth until Max had pushed Kyle onto his back and pressed the heel of his hand against his dick.

They neither one of them managed to get any clothes off, coming in their pants like teenagers just discovering what their bodies could do. It was embarrassing even though the girls looked inordinately proud of them for some reason.

It should have just been those three times, but they’ve been on the Vorimir on their way to Antar for two weeks and that thing is still happening on a mostly regular basis 14 days later.

And is looking more and more likely to be a thing that will continue long after they reach Antar and into the future.

Because the thought of giving up Kyle is becoming as abhorrent as the thought of giving up Liz or Jenna.

He’s sure Isobel would make a flippant comment about how he’s a spoiled child who wants everything for himself and he’s equally sure that Michael is just going to shake his head and mutter at him about being fucking nuts.

He doesn’t really care what his siblings will think when he has Kyle on his knees, hands braced against the wall as Max presses his fingers into his hips and bites marks onto his shoulder that will be hidden when Kyle puts his clothes back on.

“Don’t you dare,” Kyle manages to gasp out as his mouth moves from his shoulder to his neck.

He doesn’t jump when he feels smooth hands on his back, he never even heard the door open, too distracted by the sounds that Kyle is making and the way that he’s shuddering in his arms.

He knows its Jenna, can smell the faint scent of her bodywash and shampoo and would recognize the drag of her fingers on his skin anywhere. Her fingers ghost down his spine, pressing against him for a brief moment.

“Fuck,” he mumbles and pulls Kyle tight back against him as he thrusts erratically and comes. Kyle leans back and twists his head, it’s an awkward, uncomfortable position to kiss in, their lips barely even touch.

It’s better when he can make himself pull out and Kyle flops onto his back, Max settling on his side to wrap a hand around him as they kiss. Jenna is still mostly clothed on Kyle’s other side, her hand rubbing down Kyle’s stomach, Kyle groans when he comes, biting at Max’s lips and gasping.

“I’ll be happier when we have bigger beds, the tiny military beds suck,” Jenna muses, dragging her fingers through the come on Kyle’s stomach, sighing when Kyle loops an arm around her to drag her up to kiss him.

Max nuzzles against her cheek waiting his turn, then feels Liz slide into the way too tiny bed beside him, her skin is warm pressed against his. He pulls her on top of him as he rolls onto his back, hands linking low across her back to keep her in place.

Liz kisses him, palm cupping his face, then shifts to lean into Jenna. He strokes her a hair out of her face so he can see their lips moving sweetly together. Kyle kisses her jaw and then Jenna’s, he can see Liz’s lips curve into a smile even as she doesn’t break the kiss.

“Couple more weeks,” he murmurs absently as he watches Kyle roll off the bed and go towards the bathroom.

“You should go shower with him,” Liz says, nudging him in the side and he would roll his eyes but he’d already been contemplating doing that so he doesn’t.

When he glances back to the bed he can see Liz wrapped around Jenna, hands disappearing under the tank top Jenna still has on. He knows when they come back that they won’t even have missed them.

In the small bathroom Kyle is already in the shower, it’s not really big enough for two grown men but Max goes in anyway, because otherwise he’d miss the relaxed tranquil Kyle who luxuriates in the warm water and the soft touches and kisses him back sweetly.

 

********************************

 

Isobel thinks that staying in their rooms for the entirety of the trip would not be awful, she could keep Rosa close and it would mean not finding her sitting in Maria’s room with their heads bent together, or worse coming back from sitting with her mother to find them sitting in _their_ room with their heads bent together.

She knows it’s irrational, Rosa and Maria were friends. She knows this.

It doesn’t mean she has to like it.

When she tells this to her mother, Vilandra just looks at her, sometimes Isobel thinks she’s looking _through_ her, the way that Maria does sometimes and seeing all the things that Isobel keeps secret.

Like the fact that sometimes she wakes in the middle of the night with Rosa pressed up against her and feels like something is missing.

Like the fact that sometimes she finds them deep in conversation and watches them before they notice her and wonders why Maria never acted on the feelings she had for Rosa.

“Maria is straight,” Rosa tells her, point blank when Isobel asks her why she never had anything with Maria.

“I don’t think a single one of us is completely straight,” Isobel says. She pointedly doesn’t bring up the fact that she’s walked in on Liz and Jenna making out a half dozen times, and she’s fairly sure that there is absolutely no one sleeping in Kyle Valenti’s room considering she’s seen him go into Max’s and then come back out the following morning.

Thankfully she can’t hear anything happening in that room, so she can imagine they’re playing board games or something that doesn’t encompass the four of them having sex in whatever couplings they seem to have made up.

 

********************************

 

 

 


	27. Chapter 27

**Moving Forward 27/?**

 

When Antar comes into view in the main window there’s a cheer that erupts amongst the crew. Zan is leaning against the back of Rath’s chair, and he almost feels like he can’t breathe.

That’s their _home_ coming into view getting larger in the window.

Rath had said that morning while he was getting dressed for the day that they’d already received transmissions from their Air Command, that they already had coordinates for their landing site.

He’d hugged Vilandra tight to him, kissing the back of her shoulder and Rath had smiled down at them as he finished putting his uniform to rights. Then he’d sat on the corner of the bed and stroked a hand down Vilandra’s arm, pressed the same one to the side of his face and kissed them both before he left them alone.

Vilandra comes up beside him now, arm going around his waist as he tugs her closer to him.

“Home,” she murmurs, and he lays his cheek against her head.

“Home.”

 

********************************

 

They’re all in the bay when the ship touches down, that’s where Rath had sent all of them that weren’t essential bridge crew to wait.

Michael doesn’t like that somehow Alex has managed to make himself essential bridge crew in less than four weeks, but he also can’t find it in himself to be surprised that his father had recognized Alex’s talent and sought to use it for his benefit.

His dad and Vilandra are there though, he’s not quite ready to call her mom yet, not even in his own mind, not when he doesn’t actually _remember_ his real mother, the one that gave birth to him.

Maybe once he does he can say the words.

The ship shudders once as the engines wind down and Max is right beside him, Isobel on his other side. Liz and Rosa are huddled together with their father with looks of apprehension on their faces, probably wondering if they made the right choice. Behind them Maria and Mimi have their arms locked together, he doesn’t actually see Valenti at first, then notices him standing with Jenna and Ryder, he doesn’t see Nita anywhere but he knows she’s there someplace.

His father and Alex and the rest of the bridge crew appear, Rath goes to stand with Zan and Vilandra and Alex comes up beside him.

When the bay door opens slowly he has to cover his eyes from the brightness, it’s midday on Antar apparently, twin suns high in the sky and as the door opens fully he can see the cityscape.

Tall gray buildings, and a contingent of guards in uniforms like the one that his father is wearing, all standing at attention on either side of the long landing pad.

“Breathe,” Alex murmurs and Michael manages one, reaching for Alex’s hand.

Rath moves forward first, his uniform all crisp lines, then his dad and Vilandra, no one else moves and he realizes that they’re waiting for him and Max and Isobel to follow their parents, so he forces himself to take the first step.

Knowing that Max and Isobel will take it with him.

His father is already being saluted and on either side of them the guards have gone to their knees at the sight of his dad.

“We’ve arranged transport to your residence just in case, but we thought you might want to go the throne room first,” the older man wearing a uniform just like his father’s is saying to Zan.

“My throne room first,” Zan says after his fathers and Vilandra exchange looks.

They’re ushered into a vehicle that reminds him of pictures he’s seen of the monorails at Disney, when the door closes it barely feels like they’re moving, though he can look out the darkly tinted windows and see them passing by people and buildings on either side.

It’s a short trip, barely minutes before they stop in front of a tall building, there’s a fountain out front and a statue of a man that looks like his dad.

“My great, great, great grandfather,” Zan says quietly. He brushes his fingers against Michael’s hair and smiles at him, when he looks past he can see his dad with an arm over Max’s shoulder talking quietly to him, Vilandra has Isobel’s face cradled in her hands and they look to be talking quietly, with Rosa nodding along to whatever Vilandra is saying periodically.

They make their way into the building, Zan in the front leading the way. The hallway they end up in is blocked off by a large metal wall, it’s dark and Michael pulls Alex close, fingers hooking into a belt loop to keep him beside him.

Zan steps forward alone and stops directly in front of the wall. Michael glances over and sees that his dad has a tight grip on Vilandra’s hand.

His father lays his hand against the wall and he will insist later that he did _not_ jump, though he knows he totally did.

The wall makes a humming noise and a beam shines down from the topmost edge and he can see the way it focuses directly on his father, scans him from head to toe as Zan lifts his face to gaze directly at it.

“Welcome home, King Zan the Twenty-third,” a sweet female voice says and the wall melts away, and light sweeps in.

 

********************************

 

They’d had separate rooms after Vilandra had given birth to the twins, though Zan had never used his, he’d spent most of his time in Rath’s residence with him and Mara and Rath the eighteenth at the time.

He doesn’t allow Vilandra back into her quarters, won’t allow her back in there until after her ladies and the guards have removed anything that Kivar might have left behind.

“I’ll bring some of her clothing over,” Aria says quietly as he watches Rath lead Vilandra by the hand into the rooms that were once his and Mara’s.

Zan nods and she bows and hurries away.

The children have all gone back to the ship to gather belongings and will be coming back shortly, for now though he wraps his arms around Vilandra and watches Rath touch things around the room that hadn’t been deemed important enough to take but had likely been missed nonetheless.

There are no pictures, but when he closes his eyes he can see Mara’s face clear as day and she’s smiling at him, always smiling at him.

When he opens his eyes at the touch of Rath’s hand he can see him standing in front of them, one hand on Zan’s cheek, the other on Vilandra’s.

The kiss he lays on Vilandra’s lips is soft and gentle, Zan steps closer to him, Vilandra between them, so he can lay a hand on his hip and Rath draws away from Vilandra so he can kiss him.

“The children will be back soon,” Rath murmurs against his lips and Zan nods, though they’re all grown, surely they can figure out where their rooms are in the residence without one of them to lead? He would very much like to take his husband and his wife to bed now that they’re home, and safe.

Vilandra tilts her head back onto his shoulder and he kisses the corner of her mouth, Rath drags his fingers across his lips, then across hers and steps away.

 

********************************

 

“This can’t have been the bed I slept in as a kid,” Michael says as he stares at the bed taking up the middle of the room that he’s assured is his.

The bed is huge, he might need to put a tracker on Alex so he doesn’t lose him in the middle of the night.

“Nice view though,” Alex says from the window and he looks both relaxed and tired, the suns are setting in the horizon and Michael can’t actually wait to drag him into the bed that looks like it’s going to be almost unbearably soft.

Michael continues to prowl around the room, opening drawers that are filled with clothing that is much too small for him, he opens the closet and it’s the same.

“We’ll need to figure out how to shop for clothes,” Alex says and when Michael looks over he sees that he’s moved away from the window and is laying on the bed, legs dangling over the edge and the bed is high enough that his feet don’t actually touch the ground. “Going to get real tired, real fast of wearing the same three pairs of jeans and t-shirts.”

“Vilandra said there’s people coming tomorrow,” Michael says, likely those same people are going to empty out all the drawers and closets of clothes that don’t fit him anymore and fill them with clothes that he will be terrified of getting dirty.

He climbs up on the bed beside Alex and situates himself so Alex will lay his head in his lap so he can run his hands through his hair.

There’s a sharp tap at the door then Isobel’s head appears.

“Good you’re not having sex yet,” she says, and she comes in with Rosa right behind her.

“You could have at least waited for one of us to answer,” Michael says, “what if we had been?”

“Then I would likely have gotten a good view of Alex’s ass,” Isobel states.

Rosa is rolling her eyes when Michael glances over at her, and she climbs up on the bed, settling cross-legged beside Alex.

“I think the room might be too big for her,” Rosa says quietly.

“It doesn’t feel real,” Isobel says, “And I looked in all the drawers and the closet and I,” she lets out a breath, “I _remember_ wearing some of those clothes.”

There’s not many times that Michael is thankful for whatever happened to his memories, but if remembering the first seven years of their life is going to result in panic attacks over clothing then he’s kind of glad.

“It’s real Is,” he says and she looks at him with the same look that she used to have after all the shit Noah put her through came to light, where she wasn’t sure what was reality and not reality.

Isobel takes a deep breath, releases it and steps closer to the bed, Michael reaches out to take her hand to squeeze it.

“Together, right?” he asks and she nods.

“Together.”

 

********************************

 

He remembers the living room area, he remembers sprawling across his father’s lap and his dad tickling him and his mom brushing his hair and lamenting the curls that she could never manage to tame.

“Okay?” Alex asks, his expression is filled with concern, hands reaching out for him.

“I remember this,” Michael says finally, his mouth twists and his eyes burn.

He waves at a corner of the very large couch, “that was my dad’s side.”

“That it was,” Zan says from where he’s come into the room from another hallway, Michael isn’t even sure how many rooms are connected to this area. “It was his most favorite place.”

“The arm was high enough to lean against and it was perfectly comfortable,” Rath says as he brushes a kiss to Zan’s cheek as he passes by.

There’s a small kitchen area that had been Michael’s original destination before the couch had stopped him dead in his tracks.

Rath makes a pleased noise and when Michael enters he can see him pulling food out of unit in the wall. It all looks futuristic and impossible to fathom.

“Does the kitchen come with instructions?” Alex asks as he steps up beside him, Michael reaches for his hand, to reassure himself that Alex is _really_ there and that he’s not having some sort of fever dream.

Alex squeezes his hand, then leans in to kiss him. Michael relinquishes his hand solely so he can pull him into his arms and lay his head against his shoulder. His dad ruffles his hair as he goes to the counter to help Rath sort through the food that he’s pulling out.

“I’m hungry,” Alex murmurs, lips against his neck and Michael clutches him tighter.

“Do you think your sister and brother will be joining us?” Zan muses.

“I think Max is on a mission to see how fast he can knock up Liz and Cameron,” Michael snorts.

“Where does Doctor Valenti fit into that scenario?” Rath asks and he laughs when Michael blanches.

“Well he’s definitely not knocking Kyle up,” Alex says, he sits when Rath waves a hand at the little table and chairs off to one side.

It was for informal meals, there’s a bigger dining room that was used when his dads and mom were hosting dinner parties, Michael remembers sitting at the table on his knees.

Rath sets a platter of hastily constructed sandwiches in the center and pulls his chair closer to Zan’s before he sits.

“Where’s Vilandra?” Alex asks as he takes one.

“Going through items her ladies brought over from our residence,” Zan says, he studies his sandwich before finally taking a bit of it.

“You’re not letting her go back there on her own?” Michael asks.

“Not until I’m sure anything that Kivar has left behind has been disposed of, she’s making very good progress with Karo, I don’t want to cause that to no longer be the case,” Zan says and Rath is nodding his agreement.

 

********************************

 

 

 


	28. Chapter 28

**Moving Forward 28/?**

 

She has a list of the things that the children all need. Formal wear of course, and she’s already drawn up designs for their approval for the commitment ceremonies.

“Michael and Alex will have to be first,” she says, Zan has had the small vanity from her room moved into the bedroom that she knows was once Rath and Zan’s and she sits there watching as Zan runs a brush through her hair, smoothing it down with his other hand.

Rath is lounging on the bed, bare-chested, tablet in hand and she watches him in the mirror and knows that Zan is doing the same.

“Make sure you get their approval on the clothing,” Zan murmurs and she smiles at him in the mirror, he sets the brush down and leans forward to kiss the top of her head.

“You both looked so…” she sighs.

“You’re not getting Michael into the formal wear,” Rath says absently, “he’ll likely draw the line at the long skirt.”

Zan holds out his hand and draws Vilandra to her feet, twirling her so the skirt of her nightwear spins out around her.

She has a vid of them dancing their first dance at sixteen, cheeks flushed and the formal wedding attire that they both wore spinning around them. They’d been so happy, carefree. Uncaring of anything other than the fact that they were bonded and now committed, and it didn’t matter that two short months later they would once more be separated as Rath went back away for school.

Zan twirls her again and pulls her close, hands low on her back as he pulls her tight to him and kisses her fiercely. She winds a hand into his hair and her lips part for him. She feels other hands on her hips and doesn’t have to twist her head to see that Rath has set aside his tablet and come to his knees on the bed behind her.

His lips are soft against her shoulder as he brushes aside one strap of the gown.

She wants.

Rath’s hands are gentle as they urge her back onto the bed and Zan is a familiar weight on top of her, the gown needs to go though, the skirt keeps her from wrapping her legs around him and she doesn’t like that. She squirms and Zan lifts his weight off her for long enough to allow both her and Rath to drag the skirt up and then the gown off.

She muffles a moan against his shoulder as he twists to kiss Rath, then forces her eyes open to watch the soft way their lips move together. She pushes her hands down the sides of Zan’s sleep pants and pushes them down as far as she can. Rath breaks the kiss so he can pull them the rest of the way off and then settles beside them.

She missed him removing his own sleep pants and she feels wanton and needy at the sight of him lying there with one hand wrapped around himself even as she has her husband between her thighs warm and hard.

It feels like nothing at all to reach out for the bond she shares with Zan and fall into it, she’s loved them for what feels forever, and he opens his side of the bond as he presses into her.

She reaches a hand out to Rath and he catches it within his own, pressing his lips against it, twining their fingers together and squeezing before he releases them so he can touch her belly, his fingers meander their way down to where Zan is inside her and she whines against Zan’s mouth as Zan shudders against her.

His hand moves, and his weight shifts and when Zan’s movements still she manages to open her eyes, she can see him behind Zan, his mouth is pressed to Zan’s shoulder and his eyes are dark and she can actually _feel_ the way their bond is reverberating between them.

His hands guide the movement of Zan’s hips when he starts moving again, all deep slow thrusts and she can’t look away from Rath’s eyes so focused on her and she puts a hand over his on Zan’s hip.

When she comes its like a slow crashing wave and she’s not ashamed of the fact that there are tears leaking from her eyes, Zan grinds into her as he comes, gasping against her neck.

She can see Rath pressing open mouthed kisses against his shoulders before he moves to lay on his back, hand wrapping around himself once more and moving slowly. Only stopping when Zan makes a noise that sounds like disappointment and he instead arches a brow at him.

Zan shifts off her and moves to hover over Rath’s lap, hands braced on his shoulder as Rath’s hands wrap around him, he makes a noise that sounds like surprise and Zan smirks at him, all lazy limbs as he takes Rath into his hand and holds him steady as he sinks down on him.

Evidently he was doing more then getting ready for bed when he went into the bathroom earlier.

Vilandra doesn’t want to move, though she turns on her side, pillowing her arm under her head so she can watch as Zan moves over Rath. She touches herself where she can feel Zan leaking out of her and thinks they didn’t take any precautions.

The bond is still open wide between them and she can feel the satisfaction and contentment of being home, in his place, with his favorite people.

 

********************************

 

“I don’t really _need_ a whole new wardrobe,” Alex says when Vilandra corners him after breakfast one morning.

He knows from listening to Rosa and Liz mutter and Jenna laugh and Kyle’s wide eyes that he’s one of the last ones left that hasn’t been sized and had a filled closet by days end.

Thankfully he’s been busy setting up the quarters that will be housing the Earth Embassy, there’s 25 humans that journeyed to Antar with them, they didn’t need anything fancy or crazy.

Though he figured that eventually Vilandra wasn’t going to take that as an excuse any longer.

“Eventually your clothing will wear out, we’ll just add in some staples and you will of course need formal wear for the commitment ceremonies,” Vilandra presses on. She’s not listening to him and he can see her list so he knows just from the length that in includes more than just some _staples_.

“That’s really a thing?” he asks.

“Of course, I brought pictures of Zan and Rath’s ceremony, Michael had expressed interest in seeing them when I mentioned it on the ship but…” she waves a hand and smirks.

Michael had taken one look at the sheaf of papers in her hand and the determined look on her face and muttered, “I have a thing with Max, right now, sorry, got to go,” and abandoned him. Though to be fair he’s already done this with Vilandra, Alex has been the only one busy setting up offices for their ‘Embassy’ and managed to get out of it.

She rifles through the papers until she brings out a series of pictures. Most everything he’s seen on Antar thus far has been videos of some sort, these are pictures that likely had been in an album.

“They’re so young,” he comments. And so happy, there’s a picture of the three of them; Rath, Zan and Vilandra and they’re laughing at something, not even looking at whoever had been taking the picture.

“Fifteen when they bonded, they couldn’t do the commitment ceremony until they turned sixteen, legally they couldn’t even stand by themselves, their fathers had to stand in proxy for them which thankfully we don’t need to concern ourselves with.”

The last picture is of the two of them dancing and he can see what Michael meant about the skirts.

“It’s not really a skirt,” Vilandra says when she sees the look on his face, “It’s a long coat that closes all the way down, you wear trousers of a sort under it.”

“I’m fairly confident that Michael is going to refuse to wear anything that even mimics the look of a skirt like that does.”

“Yes, he didn’t seem too keen on the idea when I mentioned it and Rath agrees with you that he will likely resist,” Vilandra makes a face.

“She’s here, my lady,” Aria appears in the doorway and Vilandra smiles and sets aside her papers to stand.

“Good, bring her in Aria.”

Vilandra smooths her hands down side and breathes, then holds out a hand to Alex, gesturing for him to stand as she smiles at him.

An older woman, hair streaked with white and gray and pulled into an elaborate twist on the back of her head breezes through the door.

There’s no other word but squealing for the sound that comes out of her mouth when she sees Vilandra.

“Cayla,” Vilandra says warmly and she takes the several steps and the two women hug fiercely.

“I could just…” Alex says as he makes a movement towards the door, Aria arches an eyebrow at him and folds her arms over her chest.

“Cayla the ninth is one of my oldest and dearest friends,” Vilandra says, Alex doesn’t ask because he knows that most of the Antarians that fled to Earth spent a large chunk of that time in stasis. “She also designed the majority of my wardrobe from the time we were teens until…”

“Okay…” Alex says slowly.

“I got all the measurements you sent me and I’ve of course taken the liberty of pulling and bringing along some basic pieces to supplement his wardrobe while we work on the more complicated items,” Cayla says, she brushes longer fingers against Vilandra’s cheek and then eyes Alex. Studying him from head to toe.

“He’s very pretty, your children all chose well,” she says.

“He’s meant to be one of the Ambassadors for Earth residing here,” Vilandra says, sitting back down on the edge of the couch, hands folded together in her lap. “He’ll need more formal wear then the others for sure.”

“Not a problem, do you have family colors you would wish to have showcased in your wardrobe? Or a family crest that we should know about?” Cayla settles in a chair, tablet in hand.

“Not that I’m aware of,” Alex says slowly.

“No worries,” Cayla sounds so cheerful. “Her highness has already sent a list of most items, I really just wanted the opportunity to meet the young man I was designing for before anyone else got to.”

 

********************************

 

They eat together at the large formal dining table that night, Zan at one end with Vilandra and Rath at either side of him.

It’s loud and the food is good. Michael keeps his arm over the back of Alex’s chair, Alex’s hand is resting on his thigh the other wrapped around his glass.

“I’d like to meditate with you in the morning,” Rath asks and Alex is nodding his agreement before Michael even open his mouth.

“Why?” he settles on asking, Alex moves his hand slightly higher on his thigh and Michael brushes his lips against his cheek.

“I’ve seen the bond from both sides, but I’d like to see it with both of you actively meditating,” Rath says.

“He thinks that at some point we might be able to see and feel the bonds like you do,” Alex says and Rath nods approvingly at him.

“Really?” Liz asks and Michael can already see the wheels turning in her science brain, Max just laughs, on the other side of him Cameron is leaning around Kyle to talk quietly with Maria and Rosa. He probably doesn’t even _want_ to know what the three of them could be talking about.

“They wouldn’t, shouldn’t have been able to form bonds with you if there wasn’t some way for your minds to be able to reciprocate the bond,” Rath says. “So I think there will come a time, likely with meditation and time that you will be able to sense the bond in the same manner that we do.”

 

********************************

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, you are seeing that correctly. One more chapter to the end of this monster. This will be continuing in some form in a few weeks, but last chapter will be up next Monday.


	29. Chapter 29

**Moving Forward 29**

 

Rath leads them to a quiet room when it’s still dark, Michael likes Alex like this in the morning. He’s sleep warm and moves slowly instead of his normal full speed ahead.

It’s just the three of them and Michael had kind of thought his dad would bring Zan or Vilandra along.

“So what do we do?” Alex asks when they get to the small room, it’s laid out similarly to the room that they used to meditate in Roswell. He wonders if Rath had been trying to recreate this room or if he’s changed this room to mimic what they’d left behind.

“Have you meditated before?” his dad asks.

“Couple of times, not really my thing normally,” Alex shrugs.

“Well we’ll take it slow, we’ll breathe and I’ll have Michael open the bond from his side, and we know the bond is in your mind, I had to see it to smudge it,” Rath reminds them and Michael scowls as Alex nods.

“You really think we’ll be able to see it eventually?” Alex asks as he settles on the floor where Rath indicates he should sit.

Michael sits next to him, closer then his dad likely wants him but then him and Alex should still be tucked warm in bed and if he wants to feel the press of Alex’s arm against his own then his dad can just deal.

“Yes,” Rath says, there’s no hesitation, he’s very certain in this it seems.

He never would have thought he’d get anything out of meditation, but it’s actually really calming, and he doesn’t even need to listen to Rath’s soft instructions. Just closes his eyes and breathes slowly, it’s second nature now to reach for the bond linking him to Alex.

It’s nice and healthy, humming at him as he presses metaphysical hands against it, he doesn’t even have to focus to open it up so he can feel the steady stream of _love, love, love_ coming at him from Alex. He just basks at it even as he feels his father’s approval as a press in his mind.

He sinks into the bond and he can hear his father talking softly, though he doesn’t focus on what he’s saying. Focuses instead on following the bond straight into Alex’s mind.

It’s a physical thing he can _see_ and he can _feel_ the frustration coming from Alex that he can’t.

_Here_ he says, and he knows he doesn’t say it out loud, but Alex definitely _hears_ him if the jolt he gets in response is real.

_Here_ he says again, and he focuses all his energy on the bond, on willing Alex to see what he can see, what his fathers and Vilandra and likely even Max and Isobel if they deigned to look would see.

Rath is hovering at the edge of his awareness, likely just waiting to see if Michael can coax Alex’s stubborn mind into seeing. He’s not sure how long they sit there, Rath isn’t speaking anymore, they’re just breathing.

And breathing…

There’s a moment, a split second where they’re out of sync in their breaths and Michael can tell the absolute _second_ when those breaths sync up and they’re breathing the same breath and Alex’s mind stops insisting that there is nothing to see and just peels open.

He thinks he could _drown_ in the emotions that flood through, love and devotion and _he’s mine_ mixed with _I don’t fucking deserve him, he’s going to figure out I’m not good enough for him_.

Michael shoves back his own love and his own desire to counter it, as well as all those inadequacies that he’d felt where he’s still sure that Alex married down when he settled on him even though he’s apparently an _actual_ alien prince.

He’s so locked in that back and forth with Alex that he never even noticed that his dad isn’t there anymore. Just feels it when his father touches the side of his face, fingers tapping against his temple as he forces them out of the link.

“So yes, I think you’ll be able to see the bond,” Rath says, he smiles at them both warmly, then kisses both of them on the forehead before he smoothly goes to his feet. “These are shared meditation rooms, I would recommend returning to your rooms.”

Michael can hear the laughter in his voice, but he also senses the truth of it. He wants to press Alex back into soft sheets and make love to him with the bond wide open.

Rath leaves the door open when he departs the room, a hint that this private room is not so private as their bedroom and Alex slowly climbs to his feet. He looks drugged, the expression on his face is something that Michael hasn’t ever seen before. He stands as well and then pulls Alex into his arms, peppering his face with kisses as he holds him tight to him.

Alex kisses him, hands whisper soft against his cheeks to hold him in place and he can feel the bond not closed, still mostly open between them and it would be nothing to sink into it. To drag Alex down to the floor and push their clothes aside and sink into a body that would welcome him into it like his mind is still welcoming him into _it_.

“Bed,” Alex murmurs against his lips and Michael nods though he doesn’t move. It’s up to Alex to link their fingers together and make the first steps to the doorway.

Michael stays close as they make their way down the hallway and they all but tumble into their bedroom, Michael kicks the door closed behind them as he drags Alex’s t-shirt up and off him, Alex’s hands shoving at his sweat pants. Fingers scratching against his skin and he tumbles Alex back onto the bed, dragging his track pants off by the leg, Alex kicking and squirming to help him.

When he climbs up on the bed, he settles between Alex’s thighs and their lips glide together.

“Michael,” Alex murmurs on a sigh as he comes and Michael clutches at Alex’s hips and groans into a pillow when he follows.

He’ll rub their come into Alex’s skin as they lay there, bond laid open between them and he knows Alex doesn’t care. That he relishes the feelings of possessiveness that Michael can’t ever manage to squash when it comes to him. Later he’ll work Alex open one finger at a time and it’ll almost be that side of too much when he slides into him and he can feel everything from both sides.

They’ll take a bath to get clean and Alex will slide into Michael’s lap moving in unhurried motions as the water laps in gentle waves around them, then they’ll curl up in their bed and sleep holding each other tight.

Bond still open between them.

 

********************************

 

Vilandra pushes full speed ahead on the commitment ceremony, apparently he and Michael are first on her list and she pushes drawings at him and asks him vague questions about favorite colors and if he has a preference if the commitment leader is male or female.

“She’s kind of…” Kyle waves his hands after she absconds with him and Ryder for fittings as apparently it was decided at some point that they will be standing as witnesses for Alex, Max and Isobel will be standing as witnesses for Michael.

“Yeah,” Alex says, he’s exhausted just thinking about how fast she’s moving.

“I’ve got to wear some crown thing,” Michael says in bed that night, he’s got Alex pulled tight against him, face pressed into his neck. Alex draws his hand up the middle of his back as Michael sucks a mark into his shoulder.

“Yeah, Zan was wearing something like that in the pictures she showed me,” Alex says as he rolls onto his back, Michael follows him, propping his head up on an arm and draping the other over Alex’s chest. He runs his fingers through Michael’s hair slowly. “Crown prince,” he murmurs and Michael’s nose wrinkles as he rolls his eyes.

 

********************************

 

The morning of the ceremony is warm and bright, Vilandra disappears first thing to make sure all is set and he lets her go with a kiss.

“She is intent on it going smoothly,” Zan says as he straightens the collar on Rath’s shirt and smooths down the front of his coat. Then ruins it by drawing him into his arms so he can kiss him.

“Shall we go see if Michael is having nervous fits yet?” Rath says.

“I think he would have been content if we had a small ceremony in the main room,” Zan says absently. “He’s very like you in that regard I think.”

When they get to the room that Michael has been sequestered in he is dressed already, though his coat isn’t buttoned up yet and he looks to be pacing in front of siblings.

“What if he doesn’t show up?” he demands when he sees them.

“I think we’ve gone a million light years away from Alex not appearing,” Zan says.

“Well he could be kidnapped, though I have every confidence that the Captain would manage to get himself free and to the ceremony in time,” Rath says. “But he also has a security detail so the chances of that actually happening are very slim,” he adds when he sees the look on Michael’s face.

He runs his hand along his son’s hair and then looks to where Zan is pulling the coronet out of the box he had brought with him.

He steps away as Zan sets it gently on Michael’s head and cups his cheeks, beaming at him. Max and Isobel are smiling, he thinks there might be tears in Max’s eyes.

The light tap at the door is their signal that they’ll be beginning and Zan takes a step back so Michael can do the buttons up on his coat.

“It still looks like a dress,” he mutters, “Don’t laugh Maxwell if I’ve got to wear the coat that looks like a dress you get to wear the coat that looks like the dress as well.”

“You didn’t have to,” Zan say and Michael shrugs.

“It seemed really important to her.”

Zan presses a kiss to his cheek then steps back so he can take Rath’s hand in his own, Max and Isobel come up on either side of their brother, Isobel taking his hand and Max leading the way to the door.

“I promised Alex you’d be there on time,” he says even though they’re literally walking down a hallway and past three doors to the small room that Vilandra has a decorated for the private ceremony.

The party after will be down in the main ballrooms and afford their people the opportunity to see the couple and offer their congratulations and happiness.

Alex is already there and he looks calm and collected, though Rath thinks the Captain almost always looks calm and collected, the only time he really remembers seeing him out of sorts was upon their first meeting when Michael’s bond had been bleeding all over his mind.

Vilandra directs Max and Isobel to their places to Michael’s side; Michael and Alex have their hands clasped together already, heads bent together, on the other side of Alex, Ryder and Kyle stand.

There are no words to the ceremony, Nita had explained what a wedding ceremony on Earth was like and it sounded very long and time consuming with a lot of unnecessary words and speaking.

The leader bows her head, touches both their foreheads and then winds the cords around their wrists. Blue for Alex around Michael’s. Silver for Michael around Alex’s.

She smiles at them, bows to them both and steps back when they face each other.

When they kiss Rath thinks that everyone in the room should be able to feel the sheer joy radiating off of them.

From the tears and the smiles all around he thinks they probably can.

 

 

 

 


End file.
